Friday, 23 October 2009

Hangman Wanted

Dear readers:

The following are the opening paragraphs from my 'HANGMAN WANTED' article.

In order to do Chowq a huge favour (they don't know how huge the favour really is), I sent it across, and in their infinite wisdom (assume they actually have it), they killed it!

What are they afraid of, why do they continue to publish atheistic junk while killing readable material? These men (assume they are real MEN) and women do know the answers to these simple questions. All you have to do is send them a clear message!

Chowq is the 'final frontier' where no writer has gone before. I'll leave it up to the readers now to see what--if not the Chowq Stuffed's whims--brings on such repeated bans.

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HANGMAN WANTED

Swaziland was recently flooded, but unlike Bangladesh—whose monsoon mayhem always made us pay Flood Relief Tax while buying movie tickets during school days— Swaziland got flooded with applications for the sensitive post of hangman.
Thirteen years ago, their veteran executioner went on an everlasting fishing trip, leaving his shoes unfilled as of this writing.

Think of any Pakistani movie made during the past half-century, and recall how an emotional tear-jerking mother always wants her over-grown son to become either a doctor or an engineer; there is no middle ground. Some things never change; this wish is standard operating procedure for rural mothers nation-wide even today. While urban mothers—mostly, by contrast—wish to see confident sons working either for foreign banks or as computer engineers; I have not met a single young man who would put his neck on the line, and aspire to be a hangman against the family’s will. This is a pitiful situation; a heavenly sign that the end is nigh.

Seriously, have you ever considered hanging your boss, killing a colleague for a quick promotion, or smothering your nagging mother-in-law with a pillow? Because deep down most men are all natural-born killers in pinstriped suits, let us closely look at a hangman's life before we condemn the lucky devil's misunderstood profession.

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