Sunday, 25 October 2009

Thanks To You All

This is to thank all my fans, although not all of you may not have come from Gujrat where all Pakistani electric fans are actually made.

Miss July, now what can I offer you in August except my thanks for sharing this important information and, above all, dedicating a whole i-log to my living memory? I have no idea how you managed to find out the move made by the Press Trust of India.

I was quite sure the Indian side would respond first and find my altered Bollywood songs of immense use in bringing us all closer without having to buy Samjhota Express tickets.

I have also written to the Press Trust of India to thank them for this, and have expressed the hope that they will continue to uphold the tradition of identifying talent from across the Wagha border. Indeed, it requires talent to recognize talent.

I have also been informed by the Sabz Pari that some Bollywood film stars have given up using aphrodisiacs entirely and now only read my unholy texts before going to bed or to spice up their artificial scripted lives.

It does not bother me at all that Chowq’s ed-eaters remain unresponsive, or that the Indians—who once interacted with me when I contributed articles to this yubb-site—remain silent now. I believe they all have their daytime jobs to do, whereas all I do—in between the prescribed prayers—is twist Bollywood classics to suit my changing mood.

Adnan and Bilal, thanks for your conti-nude support in public. I also thank all those who will rush to send me greeting cards, or those who will sulk at home at this development and proceed to thrash their pet dogs out of frustration.


Tahir (full name withheld due to ‘skoty’ reasons)

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