Downsizing The Faithful

A renowned Pakistani English newspaper, for reasons best known to the editor, did NOT publish the following letter whose text I am reproducing here and whose title is: Downsizing The Faithful.

A prayer rug (musalla) is something that millions of Muslims use daily to offer prayers. Its ever-reducing dimensions worry me because in luxury hotels I encounter a 24”x36” size—fit only for little green men from planet Mars. Using this diminutive prayer rug, if one prostrates correctly, the feet stay out, and if one adjusts the feet, the forehead violates the boundaries. Moreover, in attempting to squeeze one’s entire body into the said dimensions makes one resemble a seated camel or a bag full of laundry.

The required ideal of being able to match one’s honesty of intention with the perfection in posture is so hard to achieve these days. Reproduced below are the Ahadith (sayings) of the messenger of Allah (peace on him) mentioned in Book 4, Hadīth 1002 of Sahih Muslim (also mentioned by Abu Awaanah, and Ibn Hibbaan):

“Maimuna reported: When the Apostle of Allah (peace on him) prostrated himself, if a lamb wanted to pass between his arms, it could pass.”

This explains how much space existed between his arms, as he prostrated, and the floor. Compare that space with the kind of miserly ‘sujood’ (prostration) we perform in our mosques because the Imams of the mosques force us to do so without correcting the situation.

In addition, in Book 4 (Sahih Muslim), Hadīth 997:
“Anas reported that the Messenger of Allah (peace on him) said: Observe moderation in prostration, and let none of you stretch out his forearms (on the ground) like a dog.”

At home, I am lucky to have a 25”x42” musalla that provides great tranquillity to my average frame. In many mosques, one finds carpets that indicate individual musalla size, but at prayer time—in an effort to squeeze Satan out of the rows of the faithful—men inconsiderately press against each other to render these markings meaningless. As a result, one finds it very difficult to raise one’s hands to pronounce the takbeer. Perhaps this is the reason we—unlike the rest of the world—love forming queues but only sideways. It seems that the musalla manufacturers calculate their profit margins carefully by downsizing us all and without considering an average Muslim’s dimensions.

Moreover, having patterns or pictures printed on a musalla is a distracting innovation (bidah). Now that five-star hotels have sprung up all around the Baitullah (House of Allah at Makkah), will we see hotel buildings or their logos on the prayer rugs of the future?

Before we forcibly turn the whole world into—well, just like ourselves—we need to get the size of the prayer rug correct by adhering to specified standards. The prayer rug needs to be of a comfortable size, neither too large nor very small, made out of decent materials (such as silk, wool, or cotton), and beautiful enough to make even a stone-hearted disbeliever fall down prostrate in praise of the Creator.

Abrogation In The Qur'an

Great confusion exists in the minds of many Muslims regarding abrogation (Nasikh, Manssokh) of the verses of the Holy Qur’an, the final message from the Creator for mankind. Invariably, even the so-called educated class, casually admit during drawing room discussions that certain verses of the Qur’an stand cancelled or replaced by other verses. This amounts to inventing a lie against Allah! Let us see exactly which verse is at the heart of their misunderstanding.

While Ibn Arabi reduced such abrogated verses considerably, Suyuti brought them down to twenty-one, Shah Waliullah down to only five:

Cancelled 2: 180, replaced by 4: 11, 12
Cancelled 2:240, replaced by 2: 234.
Cancelled 8:65, replaced by 8: 62.
Cancelled 58: 12, replaced by 58: 13.

Now let us see what the Qur’an itself says in 2:106:
“Any message which, We annul or consign to oblivion We replace with a better or a similar ones. Dost thou not know that God has the power to will anything?”

Reproduced below is the commentary by Dr. Muhammad Asad for 2: 106, and which explains the problem with the misunderstood ‘doctrine of abrogation’ because today the unbelievers use it as a beating stick against the Muslims:

“The principal laid down in this passage—relating to the suppression of the Biblical dispensation by that of the Qur'an—has given rise to an erroneous interpretation by many Muslim theologians. The word ayah (‘message’) occurring in this context is also used to denote a ‘verse’ of the Qur'an (because every one of these verses contains a message). Taking this restricted meaning of the term ayah, some scholars conclude from the above passage that certain verses of the Qur'an have been ‘abrogated’ by God’s command before the revelation of Qur'an was completed. Apart from the fancifulness of this assertion—which calls to mind the image of a human author correcting, on second thought, the proofs of his manuscript deleting one passage and replacing it with another—there does not exist a single reliable Tradition to the effect that the Prophet ever declared a verse of the Qur'an to have been ‘abrogated’.

At the root of the so-called ‘doctrine of abrogation’ may lie the inability of some of the early Commentators to reconcile one Qur’anic passage with another: a difficulty which was overcome by declaring that one of the verses in question had been ‘abrogated’.

This arbitrary procedure explains also why there is no unanimity whatsoever among the upholders of the ‘doctrine of abrogation’ as to which, and how many, Qur'an-verses have been affected by it, and, furthermore, as to whether this alleged abrogation implies a total elimination of the verse in question from the context of the Qur'an, or only a cancellation of the specific ordinance or statement contains on it. In short, the ‘doctrine of abrogation’ has no basis whatsoever in historical fact, and must be rejected. On the other hand, the apparent difficulty in interpreting the above Qur'anic passage disappears immediately if the term ayah is understood, correctly, as ‘message’, and if we read this verse in conjunction with the preceding one, which states that the Jews and the Christians refuse to accept any revelation which might supersede that of the Bible; for, if read in this way, the abrogation relates to the earlier divine messages and not to any part of the Qur'an itself.”

Please carefully read what the Qur'an says about 'strong drinks and games of chance'.

The ayahs concerning drinking and usury came in two stages: initially as mild prohibitions (to make the unbelievers-turning-into-believers feel repulsed) and finally as firm commands (to make real believers want to give up the vices entirely). Indeed Allah knows that alcohol contains ‘some benefit’ for mankind but notice how drunkards allow themselves the benefit of the doubt (doubt and confusion within themselves) by misusing the merciful revelation to ruin their lungs or to look good amongst drinking buddies. As human beings we possess the potential to justify all our demands, and in this ability resides our TEST.

The changes or the annulments actually refer to entire revelations (Torah, Zaboor, Injeel), one following the other through God’s prophets and meant for different times and nations. Stoning to death was prescribed for scores of spiritual and social offences in the Old Testament but a lenient view was taken in the final revelation, the Qur’an, keeping in view mankind’s material and spiritual states.

May Allah have mercy on those who think He sits on the heavenly throne changing His mind or that He cancels ayahs (messages) midstream during revelation.

And in 35:43, Allah says:
Thus [it is]: no change wilt thou ever find in God's way (sunnah Allah); yea, no deviation wilt thou ever find in God's way!

Indeed Allah is neither like us, nor thinks or acts like us.

Anti-Militant Muslim Project: PREVENT

Just to make itself look grand in American eyes, Britain willingly teamed up with that government’s warmongers to benefit from G-WOE (global war of error) and to promote radicalization of Muslims. The Crown has now got its hands in a pie called Prevent, which is an anti-radicalisation campaign tailored to prevent Al Qaeda attacks on Her Majesty’s Indian origin family jewels.

The Prevent project, aimed mainly at Muslim communities, has justifiably been labelled Provoke. The officials are grappling to stifle the unrest generated by this programme among Muslim communities, through which it hopes to identify people vulnerable to recruitment by Al Qaeda-aligned death-dance groups.

The allegations of spying on Muslims could be true because Prevent is a multi-faceted project that uses many arms of the state including police, local government, teachers and youth workers to help neighbourhoods counter Al Qaeda’s anti-Western message. But then is not the West guilty of radicalising Muslim freedom fighters of Afghanistan and then promoting anti-East bias? Is it not out to destroy those it funded and created to break up the Soviet Union? Need it be considered strange behaviour if Al Qaeda is out to lash out against its former sponsors? Oddly enough, each party now wants the other destroyed.

Some have justifiably objected to the British government’s effort by commenting that ‘there is no point trying something as sensitive as Prevent before you’ve improved community cohesion, because the trust won’t be there’.

Many Muslim families are hesitant to join hands with the authorities for fear of ‘getting a police boot kicked through our door’. However, officials think the Muslims are being unnecessarily defensive and are, hence, fine-tuning the campaign to win the trust of more Muslims and to get communities to share their grass-roots understanding of the threats.

The National Association of Muslim Police, which represents more than 2,000 officers, complained that ‘Prevent has stigmatised Muslims and may have seriously damaged relations between the 1.8 million Muslims and the rest of the British population.’

Since hatred towards Muslims has grown to an illogical level, Prevent is an affront to British values—whatever they might be. It is said that Prevent focuses too much on Islamic extremism and not enough on threats from far right groups who have caused the Muslim communities to live in an atmosphere of siege. Because the British system has not made communities feel part of the British identity, people continue to live parallel lives.

Perhaps the Muslims need to speak up more against the satanic forces bent upon radicalising them. Fifty-two percent of Britons fear Britain stands deeply divided on religious lines; they are particularly worried about Islam compared with other faiths.

Problems and suspicions arise when civil servants trying to boost community relations also use the relationship to discuss a family’s worries about a pro-Al Qaeda son. Prevent Director Debbie Gupta told Royal United Services Institute think tank, “There is great confusion about Prevent’s link to wider efforts to strengthen Muslim communities. Prevent spying is a myth. Prevent is focused on Muslims because that is where Al Qaeda’s focus is. They deploy their distorted version of Islam onto Muslims.”

All sensible Britons fear Prevent and they are not entirely wrong in interpreting it as spying. If you have seen the film Minority Report, you will recall how the authorities loved tracking down people by prying into their lives and arresting them prior to committing alleged crimes. George Orwell’s soul would now be in great distress watching his country turn into the dreaded Big Brother—a concept created in his fictional novel ‘1984’ which he wrote in 1949.

It appears that a universal law will soon be passed that will punish Muslims for merely thinking about their own state of affairs reached through systematic economic subjugation and physical destruction. Hollywood proposes and the American government disposes; the rest of the nations merely queue up for this big business called war; those who stand up to protest are labelled terrorists or rogue states.

Catholics and Protestants have had many shooting matches and bombing sprees in Ireland but nobody blamed Jesus or the Bible. Now consider the case of Muslims: Danish newspapers have repeatedly printed insulting cartoons of the Messenger of God and loads of books have been written against Islam and the Qur’an to further antagonize and radicalize Muslims globally. But why?—most thinking Muslims already know why. Complete submission to His Will is the answer to our problems, as promised by God. After the sad demise of godless Soviet Communism, Islam is the only system left that the satanic forces perceive as a global threat.

Wars profit those who make and sell weapons of mass destruction to both the sides in a conflict. We live in times of global provocation and sponsored instability. Human beings will not sail smoothly in a boat called Global Peace, unless the cowards stop dropping bombs on the innocent from 35,000 feet using drone aircrafts or chasing after genies they released from sealed bottles.

MQM Renames Places And Animals

Whenever a new Pharaoh ascended the Egyptian throne, one of the first things he did as the Sun god was erase the names of previous Pharaohs off important stone structures and have his own engraved instead. Many Pharaohs fooled the Egyptians but none hoodwinked the gods.

That was Egypt; welcome to Karachi’s MQM era. Karachi Saddar’s TMA (Town Municipal Administration) recently decided to replace the names of the colonial era names of roads and streets located in the city with those of MQM workers killed in bomb blasts, target killings and shooting matches with rival political parties. Let there be no doubt that the MQM (Muttahida Qaumi Movement) is well-supplied with martyrs to the cause of speaking Urdu with great clarity.

Considering that Pakistani authorities always resort to naming everything in sight using just three names (Jinnah, Fatima and Liaqat), the MQM has shown that as a party it has more than three brain cells in its political head. Up north in the Punjab, Nawaz Sharif or his chief minister brother have not copied the MQM’s idea since none of their workers died for them or for their novel Muslim League (N). There exists the real danger of other political parties competing with the MQM to relocate their party headquarters to war-torn Karachiland, a move that could bring in scores of heaven-bound martyrs to their earthly causes.

Karachi’s Town Naib Nazim, Muhammad Nisar Khan Temuri, disclosed that the Saddar TMA has changed 400 names during the last four years. That is one change every three days, and at this speed, I am afraid the MQM’s bespectacled founder might inspire them through the telephone to change Karachi’s name to Altafabad. If they are not careful in the city, the name-change plague could also spread to other provinces of the Land of the almost-Pure.

The administration announced changing the names of eleven locations in Saddar alone, and very kindly, it issued a public notice asking the people to submit objections or suggestions within a fortnight, against or in favour of the new names.

The names of two parks, a cricket stadium, a roundabout and a road will now be named after Muhammad Khaleel Shaheed, a former MQM Nazim, who died in a blast outside the Jinnah Postgraduate Medical Centre emergency ward.

Although the notice refers to ‘the powers vested under Subsection 7 of Section 52 of the Sindh Local Government Ordinance, 1979’, former Karachi Nazim Niamatullah Khan opposed the name-change move and said ‘the MQM is making a fake claim since nobody can change the historical names of places, streets and roads.’

Temuri countered, “It is not a matter of powers vested under the ordinance; we issued the public notice as a formality, otherwise we can simply change the name without asking anyone. Whoever came into power in the past did the same thing, and if our administration has done it, it’s not a major problem. Nobody questioned the Pakistan Peoples’ Party (PPP) when they changed the name of Kharkar Chowrangi to Bilawal Chorangi. What has Bilawal done, except that he is the son of President Asif Ali Zardari? So what is the problem if we change the names of places and roads too?”

Leave the MQM’s cause alone for a while and focus on the clever Bilawal factor. May I too ask Bilawal’s father and Pakistan’s President, Asif Ali Zardari, what has his son done for Pakistan? Or more appropriately, what will he be capable of doing once he grows up—considering he has inherited from his father the tradition of serving the Fatherland in ways unknown to the entire nation?

Sadly, Temuri also justified MQM’s name-change plan by claiming that ‘most of the sites are from the pre-Partition era and were named after Hindu leaders of that time.’

Who is this Chatumal? Does anybody know him now and is it better to replace such names with the names of dead political party workers? As it turns out, the Chatumal Road in Garden was named after the famous philanthropist and politician of the city, Sobhraj Chatumal, who built a maternity hospital and several other welfare organisations in the late 1920s.

Elder residents of the area in question defended by insisting that ‘the compound, comprising of twelve houses, is over a century old and it was built by two brothers Chela Ram and Chhela Ram. One built the residential compound, while the other built the Usmanabad compound. The name shouldn’t be changed.’

Let us see now. Muhammad Khaleel Shaheed’s name will replace the names of Street 6 Park, UC-11, Block 2, Clifton; Cricket Stadium UC10, Block 5, Clifton; Gulshan-e-Faisal Roundabout, Block 7, UC-10, Bath Island; Albert Road, UC-9, Clifton and Bukhari Park, Block 7, UC-10, Clifton. In addition, Preet Road in Garden will be rename Arif Shabeer Road; Chatumal Road in Garden to Imran Hussain Shaheed Road; Hard Davis Road in Garden to Yaseen Chipa Shaheed Road, Chela Ram Compound in Garden to Musheeruddin Shaheed Street, Sotara Street in UC-5 in Nanak Wara to Haji Zafar Shaheed Street and a service road in Clifton Block 8 to AW Adamjee Road.

In the past, many sites were given new names but the citizens did not adapt to the changes and continued using the old names such as Geedar Colony in Landhi Town (now renamed Muzzafarabad Colony) and I.I. Chundrigar Road (previously McLeod Road).

What the MQM leadership does not realize is that the pre-partition non-Muslims did things for humanity, and not just for those who belonged to their caste or a clan that spoke a certain language. MQM is a personality cult meant for Urdu speakers and as such, their attempt at using their dead for the renaming campaign insults those who did greater things for the good of the common man. Justifiably, the residents of Chela Ram Compound located in Garden area said they ‘would not accept this move’.

In order to jump into a new bottle, the MQM itself changed its wine’s name from the original Muhajir Qaumi Movement to the politically appealing Mutahidda Qaumi Movement. They have at last realized that not everyone here is an Urdu-speaking immigrant who crossed over from India in 1947 when the colonialists divided the land and its people.

If we must change names, efforts must be made to reveal the pre-British Raj names so that we may step back in time without the aid of a fictional time-tunnel. We are a resilient nation and are now ready to withstand the shock of seeing everything in sight named after one Arab conqueror: Muhammad bin Qasim.

Five-Star Prison

Norway is a nice place where nothing worth remembering ever happens. I have been to Oslo many times; the taxis there are very expensive and men from my own country run the entire system of public transportation. One a recent trip, one such man occupying the driver’s seat spoke with me.

“I’ve been here for thirty years now. With God’s grace, it’s been a peaceful stay and I can’t remember anything nasty ever happening here. Anyway, so what’s happening in Pakistan these days?”

“Oh, the usual protests over blasphemous cartoons, burning of American and Israeli flags in major cities and a few suicidal attacks by foreign guests who appeared wearing explosive dinner jackets”, I updated him.

He slowed down a bit as if suffering from sensory overload, analyzing while twisting his moustaches nervously, not in a mood to hear any more breaking news that broke his tender heart at age sixty.

“So, what’s with this Norwegian luxury prison?” I broke the silence.

“Norwegian prison bosses are ready to inaugurate the world’s most luxurious jail. It will have a host of facilities such as flat screen TVs, a recording studio for bathroom singers, and Banksy style murals. The £160 million prison, near Oslo, Norway, will allow 252 inmates a single en suite cell with its own bathroom and windows without bars inside the ‘maximum security’ compound. The authorities here have spent more than £1 million on modern art, and even provided prisoners with climbing walls,” he elaborated.

That was a buffet for thought. By contrast, our rulers, who have successfully turned the entire Islamic republic into an American prison, complete with barbed wires, dangerous road obstructions, security checks and what have you, will never understand this luxury prison concept.

The security agencies here claim repeatedly, “This is for your own safety”.

But how much is safe enough? When will that day dawn when the world will be free of those giant green bugs from planet Mars whose sole mission in life is to destroy the America way of life?

I thought of the forever-smiling man in-charge of my country who, while languishing in Karachi’s jail, never enjoyed what Norwegian criminals will soon be able to. But that is Europe; this is Pakistan. There men of honour resign at the slightest hint of misdemeanour or misappropriation; here they do not know what the word resign means.

Now, if the Europeans treat their criminals so humanely, imagine what they will do next to law-abiding citizens.

Sitting All Day

Abusing someone vocally or in writing is almost as bad as killing someone physically. If the abusers on Chowq were given a chance, they would love to kill those who justifiably oppose their poisoned tongues and pens. The shameless management (unapologetic to the core) of Chowq and its group of 'poor minorities' need to stop using this yubb-site to make Islam look bad.

In condemning state-sponsored terror, I condemn entire governments (both Muslim and Western) and their overt and covert organizations for spreading evil.

And I side with the good, although evil has so much appeal. To expect me to sit all day and condemn this or that means that I must behave like the corrupt politicians who do the same. They dish out money (loans from IMF-WB) to the victims. Is that the solution? No, that is 'shut up-WE-did-it-to-you' blood-money!

I did enquire from several friends (from the minority group) whose members were killed yesterday. May the killers and the killed be judged by God.

The rot is too deep as a dozen agencies out here are serving mankind this poisonous drink of terrorism and security. It is like a bowl of spaghetti, with each end tied to another one. The people are weak as they do not have the police or the Army to defend them. The rulers have mastered the art of using all means to crush those they rule. But there is hope; there always must be.

Global organizations have not stopped wars but only promoted colonial agendas and perpetuated greater evil. Peace is an illusion, a Hollywood dream that people think is within their grasp.

Why must someone's bad stomach in Washington ruin my life in the East? But that is the way it is designed, with the 'right' technology to make our lives more miserable. Whatever evil took years to accomplish can now take only a few seconds to achieve.

May the destroyers of good be wiped off the face of the Earth by the Hand of God. The evil is too great to be handled alone.

Peace.

Chowk: This Site is Restricted

And moreover, Dr Safwan Shah and Chowq ed-eaters, do read all my old blogs on Chowq that uncover your yubb-site's highhandedness, insults hurled at Muslims (through your minions) and unfair bans unleashed on those who justifiably protested. But your cyberspace Guantanamo will fail and your water-boarding will always remain distasteful.

Dr Shah, show me just one blog or interact where I abused others' gods and I will show you a million places where your e-tribe wilfully hurt the feelings of those who worship God and bow down before Him alone. You may have given up your faith living in the kingdom of the crystal skull but we haven't in the land of the pure.

As for the rest of the silent readers who felt hurt, and the mild protestors who felt deep down they were with me but somehow abandoned me because it was declared fashionable by a few rebellious Chowq devils, I congratulate all of you. The PTA (Pakistan Telecommunication Authority), that small ant has struck back with a ‘This Site is Restricted’ move.

Dr Shah, Chowq is your mad elephant and you have always acted like Abraha all along, and may God's own little birds level your unblessed e-commerce. Truly, Chowq deserves a complete ban in Pakistan, and owes all the Muslims an unconditional apology for having done tremendous wrong for years on end.

If you find that my original blog has been removed from Chowq, you are at the right space reading it: here!

And home is where I hang my hat and lay down my bullwhip. If you do not mind, I am tired now and need some rest.

Chowk Insults The Prophet

PTA has established a Crisis Cell to monitor all such contents. PTA’s helpline toll free number 0800-55055 and email complaint@pta.gov.pk can be used to notify all similar URLs where such objectionable material is placed.

Khurram A. Mehran, Director (PR)

***

Here is an example of Chowk's freedom of foul speech and zero tolerance for good sense. I request all sensible people to call or email the PTA regarding the anti-Islam filth posted at www.chowk.com

The following is the latest insult ot all Muslims, despite my repeated requests and warnings to Chowk staff:

***

http://www.chowk.com/interacts/17327#455697
#28 Posted by PedoProphet02 on May 23, 2010 9:29:28 am

"Slave-Hussaini, I had a vision about Prophet last night - An Arab looking man in the town of Macca, hair full of lice with a sword in his right hand and an erect penus oozing scum in the left hand; dead men/boys on the ground; him tilling girls and women while offering peace (Salam) to people with an option either to choose sword or penis for the purpose. A bunch of slave girls/womem and boys behind his soldiers being dragged like camels. Do you think it was a good dream or bad?"

Cyber Bans

Cyber terrorism originating from the US and Europe must stop. I recall having McAfee Anti-Virus on my computer and watching with horror, a world map of the sources of such malicious attacks; they came from the so-called centres of the 'New World' and the 'civilized advanced nations' in our direction. Is there a law in place to protect us from these monsters?

Many talk-show hosts, stand-up comedians and their fans love insulting God, His books and the prophets he sent for our guidance. Non-sense must be stopped; freedom of speech does not mean THIS!

It is appalling how those who earlier felt quite amused by the abuse hurled at what is dear to Muslims are now bemoaning the recent FaceBook debacle.

Shameless indeed are those who do not hold owners of such websites responsible for the filth they allow to be published against Muslims. The Pakistan Telecommunication Authority (PTA) knows it all too and has asked the ISPs to block many offensive websites, and perhaps soon the High Court will 'do more' for our saviours in Washing-ton.

Please read '440 Volts Jolt' in the sidebar; my profile says it all. We need to openly condemn all turncoats, collaborators and traitors amongst us and elsewhere whose mission in life is to create unrest leading to wars. The world will not come to an end if there is no FaceBook, Wikipedia, Twitter or YouTube.

Each Muslim who prays sends out an SMS to every other Muslim. Let us see how satanic technology can block this!

NEWS JUST IN:

WASHINGTON: An American cartoonist whose work inspired the controversial “Everybody Draw Muhammed Page” on Facebook has condemned the effort and issued an apology to Muslims. Molly Norris, of Seattle, drew a cartoon in April to protest the decision by the US television channel Comedy Central to cancel an episode of the popular show “South Park” over its depiction of the Prophet Muhammed (PBUH).

In her cartoon, Norris satirically proposed May 20 as an “Everybody Draw Muhammed Day”.

“I apologise to Muslims and ask that this ‘day’ be called off,” the American cartoonist said.

Bollywood Song Parodies By Tahir Gul Hasan

Dear music lovers:

It all started with great innocence and soon developed into something very lethal.

First the Press Trust Of India noticed what I was doing to their Bollywood songs. Then came along India's CATCH NEWS e-zine which covered my parodies with an article titled: New twist to old Bollywood songs, courtesy an ardent Pakistani fan. On both occasions, it was journalist Lamat R Hasan who spread the good news.

So here it is, all of the songs in one blog along with their web links.

Enjoy!

***

28) What Shall I Preach To You, Doll Rubber?
http://writersblocktgh.blogspot.com/2010/12/what-shall-i-preach-to-you-doll-rubber.html
 
27) Ranch, Love-Gum, Woes
http://writersblocktgh.blogspot.com/2010/03/ranch-love-gum-woes.html

26) From Behind Your (Fake) Eyelashes
http://writersblocktgh.blogspot.com/2009/12/from-behind-your-fake-eyelashes.html

25) Shall I Kill Thee Or What?
http://writersblocktgh.blogspot.com/2009/12/shall-i-kill-thee-or-what.html

24) O Hidden One (Under My Bed), Appear Before Me!
http://writersblocktgh.blogspot.com/2009/11/o-hidden-one-under-my-bed-appear-before.html

23) I Earn Abundantly But The Earnings Go Under
http://writersblocktgh.blogspot.com/2009/10/i-earn-abundantly-but-earnings-go-under.html

22) Eena, Meena, Deeka
http://writersblocktgh.blogspot.com/2009/10/eena-meena-deeka.html

21) This Is Not A ChooRhi (Sweeperess)
http://writersblocktgh.blogspot.com/2009/10/this-is-not-choorhisweeperess.html

20) Can't You Hug Her?
http://writersblocktgh.blogspot.com/2009/10/cant-you-hug-her.html

19) The Job Of The Broken Porcelain) Dil(do)
http://writersblocktgh.blogspot.com/2009/10/job-of-broken-porcelain-dildo.html

18) Come Here To My Hot Zoo
http://writersblocktgh.blogspot.com/2009/10/come-here-to-my-hot-zoo.html

17) The Poppy Scorpion's Singer Mounted Me!
http://writersblocktgh.blogspot.com/2009/10/poppy-scorpions-singer-mounted-me.html

16) I Swear Upon The Shame(ful) Gum
http://writersblocktgh.blogspot.com/2009/10/i-swear-upon-shameful-gum.html

15) I'm Paula Abdul's Lyricist
http://writersblocktgh.blogspot.com/2009/10/im-paula-abduls-lyricst.html

14) From Your (Moulin Rouge) World
http://writersblocktgh.blogspot.com/2009/10/from-your-moulin-rouge-world.html

13) That Love-Gum Of Yours Was Just An X-cuse
http://writersblocktgh.blogspot.com/2009/10/that-love-gum-of-yours-was-just-x-cuse.html

12) It Doesn't Matter If You Don't Play (Doc-Doc) With Me
http://writersblocktgh.blogspot.com/2009/10/it-doesnt-matter-if-you-dont-play-doc.html

11) (Hey Babe) The French Letters That I Wrote To You
http://writersblocktgh.blogspot.com/2009/10/hey-babe-french-letters-that-i-wrote-to.html

10) My Foe, May You Thirst For My (Pen-prick)Friendship
http://writersblocktgh.blogspot.com/2009/10/my-foe-may-you-thirst-for-my-pen.html

9) Is That Not Him?
http://writersblocktgh.blogspot.com/2009/10/is-that-not-him.html

8) Feeling Helpless, She May Have Chosen To Forget Me
http://writersblocktgh.blogspot.com/2009/10/feeling-helpless-she-may-have-chosen-to.html

7) That Thing Which Is In You (Ooh...Babe)
http://writersblocktgh.blogspot.com/2009/10/that-thing-which-is-in-you-oohbabe.html

6) What Have You Promised Me (O Mother Of 13 Royal Ones)?
http://writersblocktgh.blogspot.com/2009/10/what-youve-promised-me-o-mother-of-13.html

5) Let The Flowers Touch Your Feet (Baby, Baby, Baby!)
http://writersblocktgh.blogspot.com/2009/10/let-flowers-touch-your-feet-baby-baby.html

4) My Eyes Became Tearful As I Thought Of You (Baby, Baby...)
http://writersblocktgh.blogspot.com/2009/10/my-eyes-became-tearful-as-i-thought-of.html

3) Let Both Of Us Become Strangers Once Again
http://writersblocktgh.blogspot.com/2009/10/let-both-of-us-become-strangers-once.html

2) What Came To Your Mind, O Creator Of The World?
http://writersblocktgh.blogspot.com/2009/10/what-came-to-your-mind-o-creator-of.html

1) If I'm Separated From You
http://writersblocktgh.blogspot.com/2009/10/if-im-separated-from-you.html

Being Economically Dressed In Ukraine

The West always oppresses and taunts Muslim women for covering their faces and sometimes, entire bodies. They obviously never look at modestly dressed Christian nuns; such are the snide moves that the secularists make—not that I advocate that awful full-body battle apparel called ‘Burqa’.

Our women can and do protest but mostly in their feminine hearts. By contrast, the liberated Western women expose themselves to their admirers to sometimes launch completely or partially nude protests in full view of the public. Let us not call their condition ‘nude’ but rather one where they are very economically clad—thanks to this itch to unclothe due to global warming. Their unhappy exposure appears to have some link with the climate change that we are told is taking place all around Al Gore and his pseudo science thugs.

Ukraine is a great country—it is unfortunate that comedian Borat only spanks Kazakistan in his comedy shows (watch his movie: ‘Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan’). So what wrong did Ukraine do? They did this. Four young women—very economically dressed from the waist up—forcefully moved into a Ukrainian polling station to hold an unruly protest just before a candidate in the country’s presidential election cast his ballot there. One can imagine the effect that might have had on the poor male voters lined up to—of all the things—push a piece of paper into a barren ballot box.

Photographers are lucky people by a poor deprived person’s standards. An AFP photographer saw the women, members of a small feminist group called ‘Femen’ known for staging eye-catching protests, being hustled out of the Kiev polling station by security guards (let us call them ‘Naked Fight Coordinators’) before candidate Viktor Yanukovich showed up to vote. And poor Viktor Yanukovich missed the entire flesh exposure. I think he might have rejoiced in the fact that it does not matter who castes the votes, what matters is who counts them.

“Enough raping our democracy!” shouted the protesters, who held signs with slogans such as ‘Help! Rape!’ and wore nothing except for jeans and strips of green electrical tape.

Whether pasting green electrical tape on one’s chest or being a Greenpeace activist, anything green is considered good these days—now that the politicians have run out of promises.

When Ukrainian women are so open about politics, one need not worry about the silent men. The women told reporters they were protesting ‘the end of democracy’ in Ukraine and not specifically against Yanukovich or in favour of his rival, Prime Minister Yulia Tymoshenko. We are not told what the men said about the demise of democracy.

Femen, whose members are mostly university students, attracted international attention last summer when it held a protest against Ukraine’s sex tourism trade where activists picketed in central Kiev wearing bras and panties.

If taking one’s clothes off as part of public protest is what they call true democracy and freedom of speech, Pakistan’s debauched elites would love to listen to overt American suggestions while ignoring the calls of all bearded and veiled tyrants.

Bras and panties cover, they hold things together nicely. The reason why Russia broke up into many small countries is that they ran out of red bras and panties that previously held together the Communist political system of the same colour.

Bill Turns To Stone

Last winter thousands of ethnic Albanians braved low temperatures and a cold wind in Pristina, Kosovo’s capital, to welcome former US president Bill Clinton as he attended the unveiling of an 11-foot statue of himself on a key boulevard that also bears his name.

Clinton is celebrated as a hero by Kosovo’s ethnic Albanian majority for launching NATO’s bombing campaign against Yugoslavia in 1999 that stopped the brutal Serb forces’ crackdown on independence-seeking ethnic Albanians. This is Clinton’s first visit to Kosovo since it declared independence from Serbia last year.

Many waved American, Albanian and Kosovo flags and chanted “USA!” as the former president climbed on top of a podium with his poster in the background that read ‘Kosovo honours a hero’. The statue stood on top of a white-tiled base in the tiny square surrounded by communist-era buildings.

Nations raise statues of great men who are sometimes later blamed for the destruction and plunder of the same lands; the disgusted people then happily spit or beat with shoes the images of the heroes of their past. In recent history, we have witnessed such delightful spectacles in Russia and Iraq.

To name boulevards after sinful Bill is one thing but to erect statues in his tarnished name is paying undeserved homage to Oval Office erections. There was one flaw with the piece of public art: White House intern Monica Lewinsky’s marble lips were not shown attached to a readily excitable part of old Bill’s anatomy.

Even if the sculptures were to be condemned as un-Islamic in Pakistan, we need statues of our semi literate semi great men in public squares because the public needs to vent out its anger on powerless stone demigods.