A1, before I thank you, I thank Allah for bestowing upon me the honour and the ability to help another human in need; you sure are in great need. Faithless head-examiners cannot help when one’s crisis is of a spiritual nature.
Thanks for having the courage to ask me these questions. By asking, one puts oneself on the road to salvation; by denying without knowledge and proof of any kind, one imperils one’s very soul. Know well that one’s body wastes away but the soul lives forever.
A1, I will assume that you’re an adult Muslim. You must know that you are here on earth on a divine mission.
And [tell them that] I have not created the invisible beings and men to any end other than that they may [know and] worship Me. —Qur’an 51:56
[For a full discussion of the term jinn ("invisible beings"), see Appendix III. As pointed out by most of the philologists—and stressed by Razi in his comments on the above verse—this term includes also the angels, since they, too, are beings or forces "concealed from man's senses".].
[Thus, the innermost purpose of the creation of all rational beings is their cognition (marifah) of the existence of God and, hence, their conscious willingness to conform their own existence to whatever they may perceive of His will and plan: and it is this twofold concept of cognition and willingness that gives the deepest meaning to what the Qur'an describes as "worship" (ibadah). As the next verse shows, this spiritual call does not arise from any supposed "need" on the part of the Creator, who is self-sufficient and infinite in His power, but is designed as an instrument for the inner development of the worshipper, who, by the act of his conscious self-surrender to the all-pervading Creative Will, may hope to come closer to an understanding of that Will and, thus, closer to God Himself.]
Although the first word of revelation is IQRA, one’s lack of clarity comes from absence of reflection and from being a well-educated illiterate.
You must make it your business to read Allah’s word—preferably an easy English translation. Get to the core of the message by not merely browsing but rather through serious reflection upon key verses that deal with who we are, what we are and where we might be headed as we live and even after death. All is explained extremely well if you try. Humans have a tendency to confuse themselves and then blame God for it; that is a great wrong (zulm).
There was a time when I did not know a thing about God’s last message for mankind, I spoke of and praised other man-made theories and devilish ideas. A stage came (the way it has probably come for you now) when I sat down to look at my own blemishes in God’s perfect mirror. Once it started, it never stopped.
I will deal with your questions one by one.
Question 1: Why shdn't i stop believing in God, if he doesn't listen to my prayers?
Answer: Allah listens unlike the way we listen. Why he accepts and rejects is His way; He will question us, we cannot question Him. He wants the best from amongst us, and not the hypocrites who speak in forked tongues or perform apparently good deeds in a state of secret denial.
And [always] remember the blessings which God has bestowed upon you, and the solemn pledge by which He bound you to Himself" when you said, "We have heard, and we pay heed." Hence, remain conscious of God: verily, God has full knowledge of what is in the hearts [of men].—Qur’an 5:7
He knows what is invisible to us. What we see or hear through our senses is very limited; Allah wants us to fill our hearts with obedience and remembrance so that this Earth and its affairs can be administered according to His plan and not that proposed by the lop-sided U.N.O. or its controller governments.
To deny Allah’s existence is surely a shortcut to severe punishment, and to set up partners in worship (shirk) leads one to eternal damnation; the latter is not pardonable.
VERILY, God does not forgive the ascribing of divinity to aught beside Him, although He forgives any lesser sin unto whomever He wills: for those who ascribe divinity to aught beside God have indeed gone far astray.—Qur’an 4:116
Question 2: Why sh'd i believe in Him, if hell is all he has given me on this earth?
Answer: Your accusation of ‘if he doesn't listen to my prayers’ leads you into falsely believing that He has given you nothing but trouble. This is a matter that you need to look at with great calmness.
As for how He listens, see Qur'an’s verses 5:9, 8;29 and 42:26 for the answer.
And as for the significance of our good deeds, see Qur’an’s verses 33:70,71 and 49:14 for the answers.
Thank Him abundantly first for not letting you live in war-torn regions or in countries that face famines (where men starve because someone else does not like the colour of their skin). Count your blessings first, then repent and follow His commands while rejecting the whispers of the devil, and finally ask Him for help. Help will come; guaranteed! But do remember that you are being judged according to your intentions that lead to certain actions. Look at the tough lives of the prophets and what they achieved. Those who crave for everything (material comforts and the rest) only on Earth will have no share in the hereafter.
And when you have performed your acts of worship, [continue to] bear God in mind as you would bear your own fathers in mind—nay, with a yet keener remembrance! For there are people who [merely] pray, "O our Sustainer! Give us in this world" -and such shall not partake in the blessings of the life to come.—Qur’an 2:200
A broken home, a broken marriage, being a single parent, not having a job according to your wishes, not being pretty, all these must not lead you astray. Be positive and full of Allah’s light in your hardened heart. Soften up and the harshness will go away. The deal is that even if you (according to your own perceptions) continue to get unending troubles, you must not allow yourself to be counted amongst the party of the devil (hizb al-Shaitan). The other party, of course, belongs to Allah (hizbullah); it is the later party against which all of Allah’s messengers fought and warned us about.
Question 3: I have seen so much of hell already, that i don't mind taking my own life and going to eternal hell, at times....
Answer: Once you hate or deny Allah and think of Him (na’uzu billah) as a tyrant or an avenger, it will lead you to being suicidal. Remember that Allah is pro-life and that is why he created all of us, whereas Satan (through his own arrogance and disobedience which lead to his rejection and fall from Allah’s Grace) is anti-life.
Suicide means YOU decide when to end your life. Here are some references from the Ahadith literature:
Hadith - Bukhari 7:670
The Prophet (peace on him) said, "Whoever purposely throws himself from a mountain and kills himself, will be in the (Hell) Fire falling down into it and abiding therein perpetually forever; and whoever drinks poison and kills himself with it, he will be carrying his poison in his hand and drinking it in the (Hell) Fire wherein he will abide eternally forever; and whoever kills himself with an iron weapon, will be carrying that weapon in his hand and stabbing his abdomen with it in the (Hell) Fire wherein he will abide eternally forever."
Hadith - Muslim #6485
Allah's Messenger (peace on him) said: None amongst you should make a request for death, and do not call for it before it comes, for when any of you dies, he ceases (to do good) deeds and the life of a believer is not prolonged but for goodness.
Question 4: Why has God given us this so-called , liberty and is then scaring the hell out of us, by saying, if u do this u go to hell, if u do this u go to heaven? Why give us options and then , warn us of choosing, what we might prefer choosing?
Answer: Life is not ‘so-called’ liberty but rather full authority with full responsibility. One cannot be the editor of a magazine and expect that what garbage one publishes against God will have no consequences in life or afterlife—unless one is Chowk’s editor.
Allah has promised hell to only those who willfully disobey and attempt to test Him. Those who submit completely to Him are promised heaven. Please read in the Qur’an the details about these two prominent groups.
To the depraved and the hopeless cases amongst us, Allah’s warnings seem very harsh and scary; let that not be the case for you. If your parents warn and scold you, it is for your own good, If they block your pocket-money or ground you, that is because you violated the rules (which must be based on Allah’s Law) that entitle you to live with your family. You have a choice here: live in the jungle and become lunch for the beasts.
Focus on heaven without blowing yourself up. As a woman, you will not get seventy-two virgins if you remain faithful to Allah. It also does not imply that you will get as many husbands. The figures the demented love to quote cannot be taken seriously; what matters is that there is indeed forgiveness and reward in life after death. What the atheistic materialists forget entirely is that this life is not everything; what the suicide bombers forget is that afterlife has a strong link with the way we choose to live.
Why does Allah give us options? I always explain this the way I have understood it myself:
Recall the London Underground tube’s track, the Circle Line, depicted on the map as a rectangular loop with many stations. One has many choices at each station, such as continuing to ones’ intended destination via another train or taking instead the British Rail connection to the suburbs.
Does anyone stop or force one to stop or get off at any station at all? Unintentionally falling asleep to miss one’s destination is akin to committing sins while being out of the protective circle of Divine Grace. One may falter and hope to return to the path but willfully getting off the wrong station or throwing oneself before a train (as many poor Christians do around Christmas time) is unpardonable.
As a ‘muttaqi’ (God-conscious), never attempt to find crookedness in the Qur’an:
HIS DIVINE WRIT - let there be no doubt about it - is [meant to be] a guidance for all the God-conscious.—Quran’ 2:2)
I have chosen Dr Muhammad Asad’s translation of the Qur’an; the shades of meanings will vary if you read other translators.
Stay well and start walking the path trodden by believers.