The five US nationals arrested from Sargodha on suspicion of planning terrorist attacks in the country, revealed that they intended to attack the Chashma Nuclear Power Plant and other important installations in the country.
Sargodha Cantonment Station House Officer Amir Sherazi said the terrorists disclosed their plans during interrogation. Meanwhile, the police have won more time from a court to interrogate the five Americans suspected of using the Internet to contact militants.
Sargodha District Police Officer Usman Anwar said the court had agreed to one more 10-day remand for the Americans so that an investigation of their suspected activities could continue.
“We got it by telling the court that we want to further interrogate them on offences including contacting a (banned) militant group, offering their services for terrorist acts, using computers for that purpose and inciting (terrorism) inside Pakistan,” he said speaking over the telephone.
He did not elaborate on whether the men wanted to encourage others to carry out violence inside Pakistan, or in Afghanistan, where officials said they intended to fight. The case will fan fears in Western countries about the sons of immigrants from Muslim countries who are attracted to militancy made easy by the Internet. The suspects are under investigation for links with the other banned militant groups.
So, what will be the result? All those who have kicked this country in the face to settle abroad to earn Dollars will now be hounded, watched and interrogated. No matter how good they attempt to look, they will become despised citizens in a country that loves teaching everyone lessons of equality and freedom.
Fate might have been kinder to the emigrants who will now shed tears of blood before finally returning to their beloved country as the forgotten generation.
***
Adlène Hicheur, a 32-year old scientist, who currently works on the “Big Bang” Large Hadron Collider experiment—not yet formally accused of anything—is under custody, along with his brother Zitouni, on suspicion of “associating with wrong-doers linked to a terrorist organisation”; he is suspected of plotting terrorist attacks on nuclear sites in France. Brilliant and internationally known as a physicist, he has worked on research projects in Britain and the US.
French investigators arrested the brothers after advanced, Internet “bugging” equipment allowed them to read emails exchanged between the brothers and the North African branch of Al-Qaeda.
Terrorism is not a local or regional phenomenon; the disease has spread globally. The movies Hollywood makes to entertain us are in fact programmes to programme us (prepare us) for what is to come years from now. Once the results of the evil policies are seen everywhere, the sheeple (sheep-like people) think that the Hollywood scriptwriters are nothing short of prophets and great seers. That is not the truth.
Hollywood is a tool to dehumanize humanity, glorify crime, make us immune to bloodshed, and keep us glued to the 60-inch home theatre screen. It is the world’s greatest racket, supplier of stars and starlets to politicians and influential person. It is the Sodom and Gomorrah of our age bent upon playing the role of an unstoppable devil.
All those mind-warping movies about Asian terrorists with computers in caves, Asian traders of nuclear weapons, all of it is a figment of the criminal Hollywood scriptwriters’ imagination. The bad art they produce has forced life to imitate it. Imagine, how would they hound us, had we made movies to spread such immorality and criminality; think how they would have dragged us to the courts for revealing detailed plans of abduction, arson, destruction and blackmail? Who Muslim state will sue Hollywood now?
The playing field is uneven; it is your moral and religious duty to understand what is happening to you through the ‘very entertaining’ but controlled mass media.
Monday, 11 January 2010
U.S. Suspects and the CERN Physicist
Jack of all tirades. Been delivering double antendre and firing saliva-less salvos since 2009 from the 'Land of the Pure',
Sunday, 10 January 2010
Triple-decker ‘Agent Doctor’ Club Sandwich
The covert agency responsible for making the standard of our living hell worse got a sever jolt recently; God again got the last laugh. How?—read on.
When a suicide bomber who killed eight fair-skinned ones at a CIA base in Afghanistan, turned out to be an Al-CIAda triple agent who fooled Western intelligence services for months before turning on his handlers, militant websites (Chowq is not one of them) boasted about it openly.
The Jordanian intelligence services believed the bomber was their double agent whom they brought to eastern Afghanistan with the mission of finding Al-CIAda’s number two man, Ayman Al-Zawahiri.
So, what happened next?—you might ask, little children. Well children, that double-decker of an agent blew himself up at the Forward Operating Base Chapman in Khost province near the Pakistani border, killing seven (Al)CIA(da) agents, his Jordanian handler, a top intelligence officer and member of the royal family.
The Jordanian media provided no details of how Captain Ali Bin Zeid died. King Abdullah II, Queen Rania along with almost the entire royal family paid their last respects at the Captain’s funeral.
The slain officer’s family admitted that Bin Zeid had been in Afghanistan for twenty days and was due to return on December 30, the day he was killed. Officials continued to deny any Jordanian meddling in the international coalition there. The websites and Western intelligence agents identified the bomber as Humam Khalil Abu Mulal Al-Balawi alias Abu Dujana Al-Khorasani.
Balawi was arrested in late 2007, recruited as a double agent by the Jordanian intelligence services but in reality, continued to work for Al-CIAda.
Balawi operated a blog on which he posted calls for jihad and martyrdom that the Jordanian authorities regarded as cover for the role of double agent. The blog was available until last Monday but was inaccessible on Tuesday.
“He spent months travelling between Afghanistan and Pakistan and fed the Americans the information that the Mujahideen wanted them to receive,” a website boasted.
“Every time that the reports which he gave proved accurate, their confidence in Abu Dujana rose.”
Balawi was taken to the CIA base in Khost because he claimed to have urgent information about Zawahiri, the website said. He was not searched as he went in because a CIA agent boasted, “He is our man, so there is no need,” the website claimed.
The bomber then pretended to detail plans for a mooted operation on a piece of paper and asked the intelligence agents to gather round to look before blowing himself up, the website said.
Jordanian sources said Balawi, 36, was a doctor by profession and a father of two. He was born in the Amman satellite city of Zarqa, hometown of Al Qaeda-in-Iraq leader Abu Musab Al-Zarqawi, who became infamous for a series of videotaped beheadings of Western hostages before his death in a US airstrike in June 2006.
The penetration of the base in Khost, reportedly a major base for covert operations along the Afghanistan-Pakistan border, was a setback for already under-fire US intelligence agencies.
So what is next? Will Muslim doctors in America be intensely interrogated and X-rayed? Will people panic if a senior executive asks his junior colleagues to gather around him for to party or watch a business presentation? Where does it end?
The root cause of what is happening is man’s greed for another man’s pie. The countries and natural resources the Allied forces are occupying in the name of G-WOE (global war of error) fall into the same category. The aggressors need to be afraid of God’s wrath if not that of the fighting monsters they greedily created in order to rid Afghanistan of greedy Russians.
Now I must return to my dining table, lest a covert hand whisks my triple-decker ‘agent doctor’ club sandwich away.
When a suicide bomber who killed eight fair-skinned ones at a CIA base in Afghanistan, turned out to be an Al-CIAda triple agent who fooled Western intelligence services for months before turning on his handlers, militant websites (Chowq is not one of them) boasted about it openly.
The Jordanian intelligence services believed the bomber was their double agent whom they brought to eastern Afghanistan with the mission of finding Al-CIAda’s number two man, Ayman Al-Zawahiri.
So, what happened next?—you might ask, little children. Well children, that double-decker of an agent blew himself up at the Forward Operating Base Chapman in Khost province near the Pakistani border, killing seven (Al)CIA(da) agents, his Jordanian handler, a top intelligence officer and member of the royal family.
The Jordanian media provided no details of how Captain Ali Bin Zeid died. King Abdullah II, Queen Rania along with almost the entire royal family paid their last respects at the Captain’s funeral.
The slain officer’s family admitted that Bin Zeid had been in Afghanistan for twenty days and was due to return on December 30, the day he was killed. Officials continued to deny any Jordanian meddling in the international coalition there. The websites and Western intelligence agents identified the bomber as Humam Khalil Abu Mulal Al-Balawi alias Abu Dujana Al-Khorasani.
Balawi was arrested in late 2007, recruited as a double agent by the Jordanian intelligence services but in reality, continued to work for Al-CIAda.
Balawi operated a blog on which he posted calls for jihad and martyrdom that the Jordanian authorities regarded as cover for the role of double agent. The blog was available until last Monday but was inaccessible on Tuesday.
“He spent months travelling between Afghanistan and Pakistan and fed the Americans the information that the Mujahideen wanted them to receive,” a website boasted.
“Every time that the reports which he gave proved accurate, their confidence in Abu Dujana rose.”
Balawi was taken to the CIA base in Khost because he claimed to have urgent information about Zawahiri, the website said. He was not searched as he went in because a CIA agent boasted, “He is our man, so there is no need,” the website claimed.
The bomber then pretended to detail plans for a mooted operation on a piece of paper and asked the intelligence agents to gather round to look before blowing himself up, the website said.
Jordanian sources said Balawi, 36, was a doctor by profession and a father of two. He was born in the Amman satellite city of Zarqa, hometown of Al Qaeda-in-Iraq leader Abu Musab Al-Zarqawi, who became infamous for a series of videotaped beheadings of Western hostages before his death in a US airstrike in June 2006.
The penetration of the base in Khost, reportedly a major base for covert operations along the Afghanistan-Pakistan border, was a setback for already under-fire US intelligence agencies.
So what is next? Will Muslim doctors in America be intensely interrogated and X-rayed? Will people panic if a senior executive asks his junior colleagues to gather around him for to party or watch a business presentation? Where does it end?
The root cause of what is happening is man’s greed for another man’s pie. The countries and natural resources the Allied forces are occupying in the name of G-WOE (global war of error) fall into the same category. The aggressors need to be afraid of God’s wrath if not that of the fighting monsters they greedily created in order to rid Afghanistan of greedy Russians.
Now I must return to my dining table, lest a covert hand whisks my triple-decker ‘agent doctor’ club sandwich away.
Jack of all tirades. Been delivering double antendre and firing saliva-less salvos since 2009 from the 'Land of the Pure',
Saturday, 9 January 2010
Would-be Suicide Bomber
This is the story of Usman Ghani, a fourteen years old would-be suicide bomber schoolboy who managed to dodge the Taliban. It shows how hundreds of young Pakistanis are brainwashed by militants and their foreign sponsors to carry out terror attacks in Pakistan and elsewhere.
Hailing from Khar, headquarters of Bajaur Agency, the boy was an easy prey for the Taliban who controlled the area with not just arms but fundamentalist beliefs to match. The press reported that Ghani—forcibly taken away from his family—trained as a suicide bomber.
Since his blacksmith father, Lal Zaman, was caught selling the dreaded stuff that makes grown men’s heads go round and round, the Taliban gave the man a cruel choice: hand over the eldest son or face executed. Hence, the militants took Ghani away to pay for his father’s sins.
“Three leaders said that because my father was guilty of selling hashish, as a punishment I would have to carry out a suicide attack or be slaughtered. When I refused, they tied me with a rope and started the beatings. Eventually, just to make them stop, I said I was ready to carry out an attack,” he told the paper.
Ghani admitted he underwent months of indoctrination, was imprisoned with two other teenage boys and forced to listen to militant sermons every night.
“They told us that a suicide attack is the direct path to paradise, where beautiful women and all the happiness of life are waiting for you. They said we were lucky to have been chosen by God for this noble purpose,” he said.
Does it sound familiar to students of history? Mind you, this was the method chosen by Hasan Bin Sabah. ‘Sheikh of the mountain’—as he was popularly known—used the exact same techniques as far back as the late eleventh century C.E. to train spies and suicidal hit squads to eliminate key personalities not for the glory of (Ismaili version of) Islam but for money. From the name Hasan, the West derived the title of his gang: Hashishians.
The terror academy operated in this way. They drugged a potential candidate, took him into a beautiful garden full of wines and women, allowed him to speak with a devout looking man, made him fall unconscious, woke him up later, and finally told him that he was in heaven and had met with Prophet Muhammad who wanted him to serve Islam.
Only a disbelieving fool would doubt the Hashishian movie trailer. From then on, the candiadate would train to overcome the fear death, learn to handle daggers and poisons, and finally proceed in the direction of the chosen target. According to Hasan bin Sabah, 'Nothing is forbidden, everything is permitted. Nothing is real, everything is permitted'.
It happened then, it happens now. Hasan did it then, the covert agencies do it now with impunity. May God curse all the corrupters of human minds, and may He forgive the wretched souls trapped by these minions of the devil.
Back to the story now—when Ghani showed signs of reluctance, his captors forced him to eat a tablet that obliterated his sense of what was right and wrong. Whatever they proposed, he agreed; everything was justifiable. The tablet made him forgetful and careless towards his family. The only thing he dreamed of was paradise and a suicide attack for the sake of Islam.
Ghani learnt to operate a suicide jacket and was assigned to target, Malik Rahmatullah, a tribal elder opposed to the Taliban. He finally received hate-filled lectures from Maulvi Faqir, deputy leader of the Pakistani Taliban, and Maulvi Omar, the Taliban spokesman.
“Omar told me to go to a nearby mosque for prayers five times a day and to stroll through the streets so no one in the village would suspect me of being a stranger,” Ghani said.
“I was ordered to target Rahmatullah during Friday prayers. When I protested at the thought of possible civilian casualties, I was told, ‘God knows best. He will send all the pious among the slain straight to paradise, while those who are sinful will find their place in hell.’”
Like a robot wearing a suicide vest, Ghani strolled into the chosen mosque.
“They directed me to get into the second row behind him Rahmatullah and then draw the pin, which was fixed to the left side of my chest. I’d been fully prepared to carry out the suicide attack but when I reached the mosque I realised that something was wrong. There were copies of the holy Quran everywhere and old people and young children were coming to pray,” Ghani confessed.
“I asked myself how I could kill all these innocent people to send myself to paradise. Then I suddenly thought of my younger brother playing in a field outside our house and calling me,” he continued.
But he fled, knowing he would incur the wrath of the Taliban who were desperate to hear the news of one more carnage in the name of Islam. Eventually caught, savagely beaten and imprisoned for six days beforemaking good an escape to his family’s home. For many days he lived in fear of being caught again. He was captured one last time but by the Pakistani Army instead who heard his sorry tale.
These are very dangerous times. Who are these poser Muslims who possess the technical know-how of creating tablets that alter the mind this way? Are there not agencies, back by democracy-loving governments, running secret camps meant to train future assasins?
Do not bother scratching your head for answers; you already know all the answers. 'Nothing is forbidden, everything is permitted. Nothing is real, everything is permitted'.
Hailing from Khar, headquarters of Bajaur Agency, the boy was an easy prey for the Taliban who controlled the area with not just arms but fundamentalist beliefs to match. The press reported that Ghani—forcibly taken away from his family—trained as a suicide bomber.
Since his blacksmith father, Lal Zaman, was caught selling the dreaded stuff that makes grown men’s heads go round and round, the Taliban gave the man a cruel choice: hand over the eldest son or face executed. Hence, the militants took Ghani away to pay for his father’s sins.
“Three leaders said that because my father was guilty of selling hashish, as a punishment I would have to carry out a suicide attack or be slaughtered. When I refused, they tied me with a rope and started the beatings. Eventually, just to make them stop, I said I was ready to carry out an attack,” he told the paper.
Ghani admitted he underwent months of indoctrination, was imprisoned with two other teenage boys and forced to listen to militant sermons every night.
“They told us that a suicide attack is the direct path to paradise, where beautiful women and all the happiness of life are waiting for you. They said we were lucky to have been chosen by God for this noble purpose,” he said.
Does it sound familiar to students of history? Mind you, this was the method chosen by Hasan Bin Sabah. ‘Sheikh of the mountain’—as he was popularly known—used the exact same techniques as far back as the late eleventh century C.E. to train spies and suicidal hit squads to eliminate key personalities not for the glory of (Ismaili version of) Islam but for money. From the name Hasan, the West derived the title of his gang: Hashishians.
The terror academy operated in this way. They drugged a potential candidate, took him into a beautiful garden full of wines and women, allowed him to speak with a devout looking man, made him fall unconscious, woke him up later, and finally told him that he was in heaven and had met with Prophet Muhammad who wanted him to serve Islam.
Only a disbelieving fool would doubt the Hashishian movie trailer. From then on, the candiadate would train to overcome the fear death, learn to handle daggers and poisons, and finally proceed in the direction of the chosen target. According to Hasan bin Sabah, 'Nothing is forbidden, everything is permitted. Nothing is real, everything is permitted'.
It happened then, it happens now. Hasan did it then, the covert agencies do it now with impunity. May God curse all the corrupters of human minds, and may He forgive the wretched souls trapped by these minions of the devil.
Back to the story now—when Ghani showed signs of reluctance, his captors forced him to eat a tablet that obliterated his sense of what was right and wrong. Whatever they proposed, he agreed; everything was justifiable. The tablet made him forgetful and careless towards his family. The only thing he dreamed of was paradise and a suicide attack for the sake of Islam.
Ghani learnt to operate a suicide jacket and was assigned to target, Malik Rahmatullah, a tribal elder opposed to the Taliban. He finally received hate-filled lectures from Maulvi Faqir, deputy leader of the Pakistani Taliban, and Maulvi Omar, the Taliban spokesman.
“Omar told me to go to a nearby mosque for prayers five times a day and to stroll through the streets so no one in the village would suspect me of being a stranger,” Ghani said.
“I was ordered to target Rahmatullah during Friday prayers. When I protested at the thought of possible civilian casualties, I was told, ‘God knows best. He will send all the pious among the slain straight to paradise, while those who are sinful will find their place in hell.’”
Like a robot wearing a suicide vest, Ghani strolled into the chosen mosque.
“They directed me to get into the second row behind him Rahmatullah and then draw the pin, which was fixed to the left side of my chest. I’d been fully prepared to carry out the suicide attack but when I reached the mosque I realised that something was wrong. There were copies of the holy Quran everywhere and old people and young children were coming to pray,” Ghani confessed.
“I asked myself how I could kill all these innocent people to send myself to paradise. Then I suddenly thought of my younger brother playing in a field outside our house and calling me,” he continued.
But he fled, knowing he would incur the wrath of the Taliban who were desperate to hear the news of one more carnage in the name of Islam. Eventually caught, savagely beaten and imprisoned for six days beforemaking good an escape to his family’s home. For many days he lived in fear of being caught again. He was captured one last time but by the Pakistani Army instead who heard his sorry tale.
These are very dangerous times. Who are these poser Muslims who possess the technical know-how of creating tablets that alter the mind this way? Are there not agencies, back by democracy-loving governments, running secret camps meant to train future assasins?
Do not bother scratching your head for answers; you already know all the answers. 'Nothing is forbidden, everything is permitted. Nothing is real, everything is permitted'.
Jack of all tirades. Been delivering double antendre and firing saliva-less salvos since 2009 from the 'Land of the Pure',
Thursday, 7 January 2010
Allah is ONE: A1
A1, before I thank you, I thank Allah for bestowing upon me the honour and the ability to help another human in need; you sure are in great need. Faithless head-examiners cannot help when one’s crisis is of a spiritual nature.
Thanks for having the courage to ask me these questions. By asking, one puts oneself on the road to salvation; by denying without knowledge and proof of any kind, one imperils one’s very soul. Know well that one’s body wastes away but the soul lives forever.
A1, I will assume that you’re an adult Muslim. You must know that you are here on earth on a divine mission.
And [tell them that] I have not created the invisible beings and men to any end other than that they may [know and] worship Me. —Qur’an 51:56
Footnotes:
[For a full discussion of the term jinn ("invisible beings"), see Appendix III. As pointed out by most of the philologists—and stressed by Razi in his comments on the above verse—this term includes also the angels, since they, too, are beings or forces "concealed from man's senses".].
[Thus, the innermost purpose of the creation of all rational beings is their cognition (marifah) of the existence of God and, hence, their conscious willingness to conform their own existence to whatever they may perceive of His will and plan: and it is this twofold concept of cognition and willingness that gives the deepest meaning to what the Qur'an describes as "worship" (ibadah). As the next verse shows, this spiritual call does not arise from any supposed "need" on the part of the Creator, who is self-sufficient and infinite in His power, but is designed as an instrument for the inner development of the worshipper, who, by the act of his conscious self-surrender to the all-pervading Creative Will, may hope to come closer to an understanding of that Will and, thus, closer to God Himself.]
Although the first word of revelation is IQRA, one’s lack of clarity comes from absence of reflection and from being a well-educated illiterate.
You must make it your business to read Allah’s word—preferably an easy English translation. Get to the core of the message by not merely browsing but rather through serious reflection upon key verses that deal with who we are, what we are and where we might be headed as we live and even after death. All is explained extremely well if you try. Humans have a tendency to confuse themselves and then blame God for it; that is a great wrong (zulm).
There was a time when I did not know a thing about God’s last message for mankind, I spoke of and praised other man-made theories and devilish ideas. A stage came (the way it has probably come for you now) when I sat down to look at my own blemishes in God’s perfect mirror. Once it started, it never stopped.
I will deal with your questions one by one.
***
Question 1: Why shdn't i stop believing in God, if he doesn't listen to my prayers?
Answer: Allah listens unlike the way we listen. Why he accepts and rejects is His way; He will question us, we cannot question Him. He wants the best from amongst us, and not the hypocrites who speak in forked tongues or perform apparently good deeds in a state of secret denial.
And [always] remember the blessings which God has bestowed upon you, and the solemn pledge by which He bound you to Himself" when you said, "We have heard, and we pay heed." Hence, remain conscious of God: verily, God has full knowledge of what is in the hearts [of men].—Qur’an 5:7
He knows what is invisible to us. What we see or hear through our senses is very limited; Allah wants us to fill our hearts with obedience and remembrance so that this Earth and its affairs can be administered according to His plan and not that proposed by the lop-sided U.N.O. or its controller governments.
To deny Allah’s existence is surely a shortcut to severe punishment, and to set up partners in worship (shirk) leads one to eternal damnation; the latter is not pardonable.
VERILY, God does not forgive the ascribing of divinity to aught beside Him, although He forgives any lesser sin unto whomever He wills: for those who ascribe divinity to aught beside God have indeed gone far astray.—Qur’an 4:116
Question 2: Why sh'd i believe in Him, if hell is all he has given me on this earth?
Answer: Your accusation of ‘if he doesn't listen to my prayers’ leads you into falsely believing that He has given you nothing but trouble. This is a matter that you need to look at with great calmness.
As for how He listens, see Qur'an’s verses 5:9, 8;29 and 42:26 for the answer.
And as for the significance of our good deeds, see Qur’an’s verses 33:70,71 and 49:14 for the answers.
Thank Him abundantly first for not letting you live in war-torn regions or in countries that face famines (where men starve because someone else does not like the colour of their skin). Count your blessings first, then repent and follow His commands while rejecting the whispers of the devil, and finally ask Him for help. Help will come; guaranteed! But do remember that you are being judged according to your intentions that lead to certain actions. Look at the tough lives of the prophets and what they achieved. Those who crave for everything (material comforts and the rest) only on Earth will have no share in the hereafter.
And when you have performed your acts of worship, [continue to] bear God in mind as you would bear your own fathers in mind—nay, with a yet keener remembrance! For there are people who [merely] pray, "O our Sustainer! Give us in this world" -and such shall not partake in the blessings of the life to come.—Qur’an 2:200
A broken home, a broken marriage, being a single parent, not having a job according to your wishes, not being pretty, all these must not lead you astray. Be positive and full of Allah’s light in your hardened heart. Soften up and the harshness will go away. The deal is that even if you (according to your own perceptions) continue to get unending troubles, you must not allow yourself to be counted amongst the party of the devil (hizb al-Shaitan). The other party, of course, belongs to Allah (hizbullah); it is the later party against which all of Allah’s messengers fought and warned us about.
Question 3: I have seen so much of hell already, that i don't mind taking my own life and going to eternal hell, at times....
Answer: Once you hate or deny Allah and think of Him (na’uzu billah) as a tyrant or an avenger, it will lead you to being suicidal. Remember that Allah is pro-life and that is why he created all of us, whereas Satan (through his own arrogance and disobedience which lead to his rejection and fall from Allah’s Grace) is anti-life.
Suicide means YOU decide when to end your life. Here are some references from the Ahadith literature:
Hadith - Bukhari 7:670
The Prophet (peace on him) said, "Whoever purposely throws himself from a mountain and kills himself, will be in the (Hell) Fire falling down into it and abiding therein perpetually forever; and whoever drinks poison and kills himself with it, he will be carrying his poison in his hand and drinking it in the (Hell) Fire wherein he will abide eternally forever; and whoever kills himself with an iron weapon, will be carrying that weapon in his hand and stabbing his abdomen with it in the (Hell) Fire wherein he will abide eternally forever."
Hadith - Muslim #6485
Allah's Messenger (peace on him) said: None amongst you should make a request for death, and do not call for it before it comes, for when any of you dies, he ceases (to do good) deeds and the life of a believer is not prolonged but for goodness.
Question 4: Why has God given us this so-called , liberty and is then scaring the hell out of us, by saying, if u do this u go to hell, if u do this u go to heaven? Why give us options and then , warn us of choosing, what we might prefer choosing?
Answer: Life is not ‘so-called’ liberty but rather full authority with full responsibility. One cannot be the editor of a magazine and expect that what garbage one publishes against God will have no consequences in life or afterlife—unless one is Chowk’s editor.
Allah has promised hell to only those who willfully disobey and attempt to test Him. Those who submit completely to Him are promised heaven. Please read in the Qur’an the details about these two prominent groups.
To the depraved and the hopeless cases amongst us, Allah’s warnings seem very harsh and scary; let that not be the case for you. If your parents warn and scold you, it is for your own good, If they block your pocket-money or ground you, that is because you violated the rules (which must be based on Allah’s Law) that entitle you to live with your family. You have a choice here: live in the jungle and become lunch for the beasts.
Focus on heaven without blowing yourself up. As a woman, you will not get seventy-two virgins if you remain faithful to Allah. It also does not imply that you will get as many husbands. The figures the demented love to quote cannot be taken seriously; what matters is that there is indeed forgiveness and reward in life after death. What the atheistic materialists forget entirely is that this life is not everything; what the suicide bombers forget is that afterlife has a strong link with the way we choose to live.
Why does Allah give us options? I always explain this the way I have understood it myself:
Recall the London Underground tube’s track, the Circle Line, depicted on the map as a rectangular loop with many stations. One has many choices at each station, such as continuing to ones’ intended destination via another train or taking instead the British Rail connection to the suburbs.
Does anyone stop or force one to stop or get off at any station at all? Unintentionally falling asleep to miss one’s destination is akin to committing sins while being out of the protective circle of Divine Grace. One may falter and hope to return to the path but willfully getting off the wrong station or throwing oneself before a train (as many poor Christians do around Christmas time) is unpardonable.
As a ‘muttaqi’ (God-conscious), never attempt to find crookedness in the Qur’an:
HIS DIVINE WRIT - let there be no doubt about it - is [meant to be] a guidance for all the God-conscious.—Quran’ 2:2)
I have chosen Dr Muhammad Asad’s translation of the Qur’an; the shades of meanings will vary if you read other translators.
Stay well and start walking the path trodden by believers.
Thanks for having the courage to ask me these questions. By asking, one puts oneself on the road to salvation; by denying without knowledge and proof of any kind, one imperils one’s very soul. Know well that one’s body wastes away but the soul lives forever.
A1, I will assume that you’re an adult Muslim. You must know that you are here on earth on a divine mission.
And [tell them that] I have not created the invisible beings and men to any end other than that they may [know and] worship Me. —Qur’an 51:56
Footnotes:
[For a full discussion of the term jinn ("invisible beings"), see Appendix III. As pointed out by most of the philologists—and stressed by Razi in his comments on the above verse—this term includes also the angels, since they, too, are beings or forces "concealed from man's senses".].
[Thus, the innermost purpose of the creation of all rational beings is their cognition (marifah) of the existence of God and, hence, their conscious willingness to conform their own existence to whatever they may perceive of His will and plan: and it is this twofold concept of cognition and willingness that gives the deepest meaning to what the Qur'an describes as "worship" (ibadah). As the next verse shows, this spiritual call does not arise from any supposed "need" on the part of the Creator, who is self-sufficient and infinite in His power, but is designed as an instrument for the inner development of the worshipper, who, by the act of his conscious self-surrender to the all-pervading Creative Will, may hope to come closer to an understanding of that Will and, thus, closer to God Himself.]
Although the first word of revelation is IQRA, one’s lack of clarity comes from absence of reflection and from being a well-educated illiterate.
You must make it your business to read Allah’s word—preferably an easy English translation. Get to the core of the message by not merely browsing but rather through serious reflection upon key verses that deal with who we are, what we are and where we might be headed as we live and even after death. All is explained extremely well if you try. Humans have a tendency to confuse themselves and then blame God for it; that is a great wrong (zulm).
There was a time when I did not know a thing about God’s last message for mankind, I spoke of and praised other man-made theories and devilish ideas. A stage came (the way it has probably come for you now) when I sat down to look at my own blemishes in God’s perfect mirror. Once it started, it never stopped.
I will deal with your questions one by one.
***
Question 1: Why shdn't i stop believing in God, if he doesn't listen to my prayers?
Answer: Allah listens unlike the way we listen. Why he accepts and rejects is His way; He will question us, we cannot question Him. He wants the best from amongst us, and not the hypocrites who speak in forked tongues or perform apparently good deeds in a state of secret denial.
And [always] remember the blessings which God has bestowed upon you, and the solemn pledge by which He bound you to Himself" when you said, "We have heard, and we pay heed." Hence, remain conscious of God: verily, God has full knowledge of what is in the hearts [of men].—Qur’an 5:7
He knows what is invisible to us. What we see or hear through our senses is very limited; Allah wants us to fill our hearts with obedience and remembrance so that this Earth and its affairs can be administered according to His plan and not that proposed by the lop-sided U.N.O. or its controller governments.
To deny Allah’s existence is surely a shortcut to severe punishment, and to set up partners in worship (shirk) leads one to eternal damnation; the latter is not pardonable.
VERILY, God does not forgive the ascribing of divinity to aught beside Him, although He forgives any lesser sin unto whomever He wills: for those who ascribe divinity to aught beside God have indeed gone far astray.—Qur’an 4:116
Question 2: Why sh'd i believe in Him, if hell is all he has given me on this earth?
Answer: Your accusation of ‘if he doesn't listen to my prayers’ leads you into falsely believing that He has given you nothing but trouble. This is a matter that you need to look at with great calmness.
As for how He listens, see Qur'an’s verses 5:9, 8;29 and 42:26 for the answer.
And as for the significance of our good deeds, see Qur’an’s verses 33:70,71 and 49:14 for the answers.
Thank Him abundantly first for not letting you live in war-torn regions or in countries that face famines (where men starve because someone else does not like the colour of their skin). Count your blessings first, then repent and follow His commands while rejecting the whispers of the devil, and finally ask Him for help. Help will come; guaranteed! But do remember that you are being judged according to your intentions that lead to certain actions. Look at the tough lives of the prophets and what they achieved. Those who crave for everything (material comforts and the rest) only on Earth will have no share in the hereafter.
And when you have performed your acts of worship, [continue to] bear God in mind as you would bear your own fathers in mind—nay, with a yet keener remembrance! For there are people who [merely] pray, "O our Sustainer! Give us in this world" -and such shall not partake in the blessings of the life to come.—Qur’an 2:200
A broken home, a broken marriage, being a single parent, not having a job according to your wishes, not being pretty, all these must not lead you astray. Be positive and full of Allah’s light in your hardened heart. Soften up and the harshness will go away. The deal is that even if you (according to your own perceptions) continue to get unending troubles, you must not allow yourself to be counted amongst the party of the devil (hizb al-Shaitan). The other party, of course, belongs to Allah (hizbullah); it is the later party against which all of Allah’s messengers fought and warned us about.
Question 3: I have seen so much of hell already, that i don't mind taking my own life and going to eternal hell, at times....
Answer: Once you hate or deny Allah and think of Him (na’uzu billah) as a tyrant or an avenger, it will lead you to being suicidal. Remember that Allah is pro-life and that is why he created all of us, whereas Satan (through his own arrogance and disobedience which lead to his rejection and fall from Allah’s Grace) is anti-life.
Suicide means YOU decide when to end your life. Here are some references from the Ahadith literature:
Hadith - Bukhari 7:670
The Prophet (peace on him) said, "Whoever purposely throws himself from a mountain and kills himself, will be in the (Hell) Fire falling down into it and abiding therein perpetually forever; and whoever drinks poison and kills himself with it, he will be carrying his poison in his hand and drinking it in the (Hell) Fire wherein he will abide eternally forever; and whoever kills himself with an iron weapon, will be carrying that weapon in his hand and stabbing his abdomen with it in the (Hell) Fire wherein he will abide eternally forever."
Hadith - Muslim #6485
Allah's Messenger (peace on him) said: None amongst you should make a request for death, and do not call for it before it comes, for when any of you dies, he ceases (to do good) deeds and the life of a believer is not prolonged but for goodness.
Question 4: Why has God given us this so-called , liberty and is then scaring the hell out of us, by saying, if u do this u go to hell, if u do this u go to heaven? Why give us options and then , warn us of choosing, what we might prefer choosing?
Answer: Life is not ‘so-called’ liberty but rather full authority with full responsibility. One cannot be the editor of a magazine and expect that what garbage one publishes against God will have no consequences in life or afterlife—unless one is Chowk’s editor.
Allah has promised hell to only those who willfully disobey and attempt to test Him. Those who submit completely to Him are promised heaven. Please read in the Qur’an the details about these two prominent groups.
To the depraved and the hopeless cases amongst us, Allah’s warnings seem very harsh and scary; let that not be the case for you. If your parents warn and scold you, it is for your own good, If they block your pocket-money or ground you, that is because you violated the rules (which must be based on Allah’s Law) that entitle you to live with your family. You have a choice here: live in the jungle and become lunch for the beasts.
Focus on heaven without blowing yourself up. As a woman, you will not get seventy-two virgins if you remain faithful to Allah. It also does not imply that you will get as many husbands. The figures the demented love to quote cannot be taken seriously; what matters is that there is indeed forgiveness and reward in life after death. What the atheistic materialists forget entirely is that this life is not everything; what the suicide bombers forget is that afterlife has a strong link with the way we choose to live.
Why does Allah give us options? I always explain this the way I have understood it myself:
Recall the London Underground tube’s track, the Circle Line, depicted on the map as a rectangular loop with many stations. One has many choices at each station, such as continuing to ones’ intended destination via another train or taking instead the British Rail connection to the suburbs.
Does anyone stop or force one to stop or get off at any station at all? Unintentionally falling asleep to miss one’s destination is akin to committing sins while being out of the protective circle of Divine Grace. One may falter and hope to return to the path but willfully getting off the wrong station or throwing oneself before a train (as many poor Christians do around Christmas time) is unpardonable.
As a ‘muttaqi’ (God-conscious), never attempt to find crookedness in the Qur’an:
HIS DIVINE WRIT - let there be no doubt about it - is [meant to be] a guidance for all the God-conscious.—Quran’ 2:2)
I have chosen Dr Muhammad Asad’s translation of the Qur’an; the shades of meanings will vary if you read other translators.
Stay well and start walking the path trodden by believers.
Jack of all tirades. Been delivering double antendre and firing saliva-less salvos since 2009 from the 'Land of the Pure',
Thursday, 31 December 2009
Once In A Blue Moon
If you have heard the expression ‘It happens only once in a blue moon’, get ready to witness just that in the skies this New Year's Eve. Now it does not mean that one should expect a bluish glow over planet Earth. The term ‘blue moon’ simply refers to the second full moon in a calendar month. The last time that happened on a New Year's Eve was in December 1990.
Most months have just one full moon, because the 29.5-day cycle of the moon matches up nicely with the length of calendar months. Only about every 2½ years, there will be two full moons in a month. A blue moon on December 31 is rare.
Some songs associated with the blue moon are Elvis Presley’s ‘Blue Moon’, ‘When My Blue Moon Turns to Gold Again’, and ‘Blue Moon of Kentucky.’
A blue moon has not always had the same meaning that it has today, centuries ago, it simply meant ‘never’ or ‘absurd’. One could say that Chowk’s editors only listen once in a blue moon. The phrase 'blue moon' has been around for over four hundred years, but it has at least six different meanings, with at least four of them still in use today.
In 1883, the Indonesian volcano, Krakatoa (recall the 1969 movie: Krakatoa, east of Java), erupted and released so much dust in the atmosphere that the moon actually appeared blue—an event so unusual that the term ‘once in a blue moon’ was coined; the bluish effect lasted nearly for almost two years.
Full moons originally had twelve names, one for each month, while ‘blue moon’ referred to the 13th full moon:
January: Wolf Moon
February: Snow Moon
March: Worm Moon
April: Pink Moon
May: Flower Moon
June: Strawberry Moon
July: Buck Moon
August: Sturgeon Moon
September: Corn Moon
October: Harvest Moon
November: Beaver Moon
December: Cold Moon
The term ‘blue moon’ acquired its current meaning in the 1940s, when the Farmer's Almanac of Maine offered an astronomical definition of a blue moon.
Tonight (yes, Josephine, tonight), the full moon’s age will be about 14 ½ days, and it will appear bigger by about 12% because it will be near its perigee (nearest distance to the Earth).
Moonrise: 1654 Pak time
Moonset at 0304 Pak time
So, enjoy the view tonight but do not howl at the full moon too much.
Postscript:
As if THIS was not enough! I remembered tonight is also a PARTIAL lunar eclipse that will start at 18:51 UTC (23:51 Pak time).
One ticket, two shows!
Most months have just one full moon, because the 29.5-day cycle of the moon matches up nicely with the length of calendar months. Only about every 2½ years, there will be two full moons in a month. A blue moon on December 31 is rare.
Some songs associated with the blue moon are Elvis Presley’s ‘Blue Moon’, ‘When My Blue Moon Turns to Gold Again’, and ‘Blue Moon of Kentucky.’
A blue moon has not always had the same meaning that it has today, centuries ago, it simply meant ‘never’ or ‘absurd’. One could say that Chowk’s editors only listen once in a blue moon. The phrase 'blue moon' has been around for over four hundred years, but it has at least six different meanings, with at least four of them still in use today.
In 1883, the Indonesian volcano, Krakatoa (recall the 1969 movie: Krakatoa, east of Java), erupted and released so much dust in the atmosphere that the moon actually appeared blue—an event so unusual that the term ‘once in a blue moon’ was coined; the bluish effect lasted nearly for almost two years.
Full moons originally had twelve names, one for each month, while ‘blue moon’ referred to the 13th full moon:
January: Wolf Moon
February: Snow Moon
March: Worm Moon
April: Pink Moon
May: Flower Moon
June: Strawberry Moon
July: Buck Moon
August: Sturgeon Moon
September: Corn Moon
October: Harvest Moon
November: Beaver Moon
December: Cold Moon
The term ‘blue moon’ acquired its current meaning in the 1940s, when the Farmer's Almanac of Maine offered an astronomical definition of a blue moon.
Tonight (yes, Josephine, tonight), the full moon’s age will be about 14 ½ days, and it will appear bigger by about 12% because it will be near its perigee (nearest distance to the Earth).
Moonrise: 1654 Pak time
Moonset at 0304 Pak time
So, enjoy the view tonight but do not howl at the full moon too much.
Postscript:
As if THIS was not enough! I remembered tonight is also a PARTIAL lunar eclipse that will start at 18:51 UTC (23:51 Pak time).
One ticket, two shows!
Jack of all tirades. Been delivering double antendre and firing saliva-less salvos since 2009 from the 'Land of the Pure',
Wednesday, 30 December 2009
From Behind Your (fake) Eyelashes
SEVERE WARNING: Parents who are under twenty-one years of age, must be accompanied by precocious children when reading this.
*******
The fake romance takes place in a real garden somewhere in occupied Kashmir. The hero wears a tie—a gross violation of the tribal traditions. The girl, dressed in a nice skirt, displays a miniature statue of puberty in her hair, and walks all over barefooted because the local cobbler has not returned her shoes.
This whole bit of creative writing is based on one neat trick: open the video in one browser window and the text in another window, run them side by side (both windows with Chowq in them) and read the running commentary to derive maximum pleasure. Let us see the song now.
*******
The fake romance takes place in a real garden somewhere in occupied Kashmir. The hero wears a tie—a gross violation of the tribal traditions. The girl, dressed in a nice skirt, displays a miniature statue of puberty in her hair, and walks all over barefooted because the local cobbler has not returned her shoes.
This whole bit of creative writing is based on one neat trick: open the video in one browser window and the text in another window, run them side by side (both windows with Chowq in them) and read the running commentary to derive maximum pleasure. Let us see the song now.
Man: What did you say Dolly from behind your (fake) eyelashes?
Woman: My eyes have decorated a (dance)party of my (damp)dreams, you too must gate-crash
Man: What did you say Dolly from behind your (fake) eyelashes?
[A useless garden-chase follows during which nothing happens; the birds mating in the trees are truly embarrassed at the colossal waste of time the humans indulge in.]
Man: (Bring me my) tuba, Tooba (dear)
It was hard to excite my unmentionable bodypart to begin with
It’s (always) such a problem—on top of that—you walk hiding your face in your hairy lot
(Repeat above lines)
Woman: Don’t say things that will make me (and your wife who might be watching us) feel ashamed
[Repeat Chorus]
[The man and woman vanish from view. He lights up his Camel in a country that is not Marlboro country. She comes running to him and ensures he does not get all the puffs alone of that stuff that will take him straight to Nirvana, and snatches the cigarette away. He approves of her stern reaction. They soon reach Murree without their Indian passports and without changing into winter uniforms. So cool is the woman, she is still not wearing any shoes in the snow-covered hills—an amazing feat only achievable once one has had a substantial quantity of Salajeet: an aphrodisiac that grows in the mountains.]
Woman: I hope Danny (my other client) doesn’t spot me here
My heart is pounding (£), don’t block my path you rascal (free-rider) surgean
By the ton I tremble, please don’t twist my finger (you sadist) PIA (crew)
(Repeat above lines)
Man: Don’t report me (to the authorities) after making it out (with me) in Wana (of all the places)
[Repeat Chorus]
[The woman throws not balls of fire but rather a ball of soft snow at the man; this he is able to catch successfully.]
[More useless chasing and hmmmm...aaa singing.]
Man: After botching up (my entire night), where (the hell) are you headed Mutt Wally?
With your tender lips, again promise me that you’ll meet me again in Wada (which is close to Wana)
(Repeat above lines)
Woman: This (unmentionable part) is your own home (sweet home), so do come freely (inside)
[Repeat Chorus]
[The man pretends he’s falling off a cliff.]
Woman: My eyes have decorated a (dance)party of my (damp)dreams, you too must gate-crash
Man: What did you say Dolly from behind your (fake) eyelashes?
[A useless garden-chase follows during which nothing happens; the birds mating in the trees are truly embarrassed at the colossal waste of time the humans indulge in.]
Man: (Bring me my) tuba, Tooba (dear)
It was hard to excite my unmentionable bodypart to begin with
It’s (always) such a problem—on top of that—you walk hiding your face in your hairy lot
(Repeat above lines)
Woman: Don’t say things that will make me (and your wife who might be watching us) feel ashamed
[Repeat Chorus]
[The man and woman vanish from view. He lights up his Camel in a country that is not Marlboro country. She comes running to him and ensures he does not get all the puffs alone of that stuff that will take him straight to Nirvana, and snatches the cigarette away. He approves of her stern reaction. They soon reach Murree without their Indian passports and without changing into winter uniforms. So cool is the woman, she is still not wearing any shoes in the snow-covered hills—an amazing feat only achievable once one has had a substantial quantity of Salajeet: an aphrodisiac that grows in the mountains.]
Woman: I hope Danny (my other client) doesn’t spot me here
My heart is pounding (£), don’t block my path you rascal (free-rider) surgean
By the ton I tremble, please don’t twist my finger (you sadist) PIA (crew)
(Repeat above lines)
Man: Don’t report me (to the authorities) after making it out (with me) in Wana (of all the places)
[Repeat Chorus]
[The woman throws not balls of fire but rather a ball of soft snow at the man; this he is able to catch successfully.]
[More useless chasing and hmmmm...aaa singing.]
Man: After botching up (my entire night), where (the hell) are you headed Mutt Wally?
With your tender lips, again promise me that you’ll meet me again in Wada (which is close to Wana)
(Repeat above lines)
Woman: This (unmentionable part) is your own home (sweet home), so do come freely (inside)
[Repeat Chorus]
[The man pretends he’s falling off a cliff.]
Jack of all tirades. Been delivering double antendre and firing saliva-less salvos since 2009 from the 'Land of the Pure',
Monday, 28 December 2009
Shall I Kill Thee Or What?
I believe, this is the song the Indusian Army played as an endless loop for our prisoners of war back in 1971. They set all 90,000 free once convinced that the soldiers had absorbed enough of Bollywood fantasy.
Now for the reason I decided to do a parody of this song. Had I known that traitors received such a fine musical treatment before being hacked to digital ones and zeros, I might have chosen to play a double game instead of being a freedom (Farida’s dumb) fighter. Nevertheless, knowing me as you all do from Chowq, I would rather put up a good fight than blow myself up for Hades. Keeping in mind the recent conspiracy at Chowq, the characters in the video are:
The poser hero, wearing a military uniform and shown tied to a pillar, is actually the nemesis, the anti-hero; let us call him speci-man ‘F’.
The heroine, really an aunty, may be called speci-woman ‘L’. Together, F & L, make the F1½ Auto Racing Losers’ Team. Appropriately tied to a pillar, Miss ‘L’ wears a revealing dress.
The vengeful dancer might look like one of the avid supporters of my fan club (C3), but I assure you, she is only a hired lookalike; the real handler is hidden under the fake villain’s wooden throne. Let us label the vengeful dancer as speci-woman ‘VD’.
Also, notice that although the lookalike heroine and the aunty heroine belong to opposite camps, they have managed to colour-coordinate their pink wardrobes.
I know how my Chowq-disabled adversaries would love to see me in that despicable villain’s role, but I assure you that that can never ever be the case. To fool the enemies, I always drink Makkah Cola using a Coca Cola bottle. I might appear drunk with power but again that is never the case. I am always in charge of my senses just as the aunty heroine is in control of her double game. And the designer belt—adorned with real cartridges (‘kaartoos’)—I am wearing around my waist is purely there to keep my shalwar from slipping off—something that must be avoided at all cost during the proceedings of an important public trial.
The treatment the fake hero gets is enviable to the hard core. With so much of fake anger flying about, I would not mind being tied to one such lamppost until judgement day. I can see many of you alpha-males nodding your heads in an affirmative thinking that one certified vengeful dancer (VD) might be a better deal than seventy-two uncertified virgins are.
The song is from the movie: Mera GaoN Mera Des (my village, my country). It starts with the entire Chowq readership watching aghast as I make a horrible example out of the C3 traitors.
At 00:41, the C3’s vengeful dancer—‘VD’ for short—performs a hat-trick slap routine on the chief conspirator. While the dazed aunty heroine (speci-woman ‘L’) looks on with disbelief, I, with unusual cynicism, take a sip of Makkah Cola while reclining on a soft pillow. Here we go with the song and its de-coded lyrics:
Shall I kill thee or let thee ride scot-free?
Bull! To what school shall I send thee?
[Watch the cool skirt-manoeuvre here! She repeats the same offer to speci-woman ‘L’.]
Shall I kill thee or let thee ride scot-free?
Bull! To what school shall I send thee? – 2X
Shall I bestow upon thee a (free membership of my fiery) gym (O fake Romeo)?
Or (fresh-squeezed) venom?
Shall I kill thee or let thee ride scot-free?
Bull! To what school shall I send thee? – 2X
[VD washes the fake hero’s face with the same sweet water she herself has drunk—an out-of-script move, considering that she is out to poison the poor fellow.]
[More dance by the VD follows. She then grabs a 6-inch knife and heads for ‘F’]
I rattled mine glass bangles, and spread mine (shampooed) hair – 2X
But to thee, chain, yes chains, yea yea
To you, appealed a chain
Shall I imprison thee (in Guantanamo), or let thee go scot-free (without a surety bond)?
Bull! To what school shall I send thee? – 2X
[I drink more Makkah Cola while VD, at 2:39, tears off the silly disguise ‘L is wearing and proceeds to make a kitchen-duster out of. I ask for a fresh bottle of M-Cola and watch the show with fake disbelief. Having dined and then wined, by now the fake G-men of my original fan club are seen lying unconscious on the floor—they were unconscious to begin with.]
[At 03:00, VD does something that I never authorized but then, maybe I did; who can remember petty details? VD cuts the strings of the embroidered dress ‘L’ is wearing and gives her the public ‘exposure’ she craved for.]
Laughter cometh on thine tail (now that I have stepped on your tale)
Mercy (also) cometh on your (wasted) youth
Laughter cometh on thine tail (now that I have stepped on your tale)
Mercy (also) cometh on your (wasted) youth
Today (19 November, in the year 2009 of our Lord) thou art on mine, thou art thou art are on mine
Thou art dependent this day on MINE mercy
[At 04:36, VD comes sit by my side—something that I did authorize.]
To break it, or to mend the heart
Bull! To what school shall I send thee? – 2X
[By now, VD has her knife on the right arm of ‘F’]
[The remaining, apparently sober, G-men collapse the moment they have taken liberal sips of the infamous dog-killer whiskey called 100 Dogs. VD continues to cast a spell with her skirt and, very suggestively, lowers the lantern’s flame. The M-Cola bottle slips out of my hand and, from under my soft pillow, I pull out a flashlight to shed more light on the proceedings of a public trial with a happy end.]
O flyer mosquito of an extinguishing candle
What is thine last wish, O Must Ana?
[VD cuts up the sorry face of ‘F, in the same democratic spirit the Americans possess at Camp X-Ray.]
O flyer mosquito of an extinguishing candle
What is thine last wish, O Must Ana?
Today thine grey(matter) banned
Thine, thine (you swine) grey(matter) banned
Today thine grey(matter) banned, O devious wanna-be
Shall it be Chowqed or be left (un-banChowkqed)?
Bull! To what school shall I send thee? – 2X
Shall I kill thee or let thee ride scot-free?
Bull! To what school shall I send thee? – 2X
[In the end, I pretend to be in drunkard’s Nirvana but in truth, I am slyly watching the proceedings reach their logical conclusion.]
Now for the reason I decided to do a parody of this song. Had I known that traitors received such a fine musical treatment before being hacked to digital ones and zeros, I might have chosen to play a double game instead of being a freedom (Farida’s dumb) fighter. Nevertheless, knowing me as you all do from Chowq, I would rather put up a good fight than blow myself up for Hades. Keeping in mind the recent conspiracy at Chowq, the characters in the video are:
The poser hero, wearing a military uniform and shown tied to a pillar, is actually the nemesis, the anti-hero; let us call him speci-man ‘F’.
The heroine, really an aunty, may be called speci-woman ‘L’. Together, F & L, make the F1½ Auto Racing Losers’ Team. Appropriately tied to a pillar, Miss ‘L’ wears a revealing dress.
The vengeful dancer might look like one of the avid supporters of my fan club (C3), but I assure you, she is only a hired lookalike; the real handler is hidden under the fake villain’s wooden throne. Let us label the vengeful dancer as speci-woman ‘VD’.
Also, notice that although the lookalike heroine and the aunty heroine belong to opposite camps, they have managed to colour-coordinate their pink wardrobes.
I know how my Chowq-disabled adversaries would love to see me in that despicable villain’s role, but I assure you that that can never ever be the case. To fool the enemies, I always drink Makkah Cola using a Coca Cola bottle. I might appear drunk with power but again that is never the case. I am always in charge of my senses just as the aunty heroine is in control of her double game. And the designer belt—adorned with real cartridges (‘kaartoos’)—I am wearing around my waist is purely there to keep my shalwar from slipping off—something that must be avoided at all cost during the proceedings of an important public trial.
The treatment the fake hero gets is enviable to the hard core. With so much of fake anger flying about, I would not mind being tied to one such lamppost until judgement day. I can see many of you alpha-males nodding your heads in an affirmative thinking that one certified vengeful dancer (VD) might be a better deal than seventy-two uncertified virgins are.
The song is from the movie: Mera GaoN Mera Des (my village, my country). It starts with the entire Chowq readership watching aghast as I make a horrible example out of the C3 traitors.
At 00:41, the C3’s vengeful dancer—‘VD’ for short—performs a hat-trick slap routine on the chief conspirator. While the dazed aunty heroine (speci-woman ‘L’) looks on with disbelief, I, with unusual cynicism, take a sip of Makkah Cola while reclining on a soft pillow. Here we go with the song and its de-coded lyrics:
Shall I kill thee or let thee ride scot-free?
Bull! To what school shall I send thee?
[Watch the cool skirt-manoeuvre here! She repeats the same offer to speci-woman ‘L’.]
Shall I kill thee or let thee ride scot-free?
Bull! To what school shall I send thee? – 2X
Shall I bestow upon thee a (free membership of my fiery) gym (O fake Romeo)?
Or (fresh-squeezed) venom?
Shall I kill thee or let thee ride scot-free?
Bull! To what school shall I send thee? – 2X
[VD washes the fake hero’s face with the same sweet water she herself has drunk—an out-of-script move, considering that she is out to poison the poor fellow.]
[More dance by the VD follows. She then grabs a 6-inch knife and heads for ‘F’]
I rattled mine glass bangles, and spread mine (shampooed) hair – 2X
But to thee, chain, yes chains, yea yea
To you, appealed a chain
Shall I imprison thee (in Guantanamo), or let thee go scot-free (without a surety bond)?
Bull! To what school shall I send thee? – 2X
[I drink more Makkah Cola while VD, at 2:39, tears off the silly disguise ‘L is wearing and proceeds to make a kitchen-duster out of. I ask for a fresh bottle of M-Cola and watch the show with fake disbelief. Having dined and then wined, by now the fake G-men of my original fan club are seen lying unconscious on the floor—they were unconscious to begin with.]
[At 03:00, VD does something that I never authorized but then, maybe I did; who can remember petty details? VD cuts the strings of the embroidered dress ‘L’ is wearing and gives her the public ‘exposure’ she craved for.]
Laughter cometh on thine tail (now that I have stepped on your tale)
Mercy (also) cometh on your (wasted) youth
Laughter cometh on thine tail (now that I have stepped on your tale)
Mercy (also) cometh on your (wasted) youth
Today (19 November, in the year 2009 of our Lord) thou art on mine, thou art thou art are on mine
Thou art dependent this day on MINE mercy
[At 04:36, VD comes sit by my side—something that I did authorize.]
To break it, or to mend the heart
Bull! To what school shall I send thee? – 2X
[By now, VD has her knife on the right arm of ‘F’]
[The remaining, apparently sober, G-men collapse the moment they have taken liberal sips of the infamous dog-killer whiskey called 100 Dogs. VD continues to cast a spell with her skirt and, very suggestively, lowers the lantern’s flame. The M-Cola bottle slips out of my hand and, from under my soft pillow, I pull out a flashlight to shed more light on the proceedings of a public trial with a happy end.]
O flyer mosquito of an extinguishing candle
What is thine last wish, O Must Ana?
[VD cuts up the sorry face of ‘F, in the same democratic spirit the Americans possess at Camp X-Ray.]
O flyer mosquito of an extinguishing candle
What is thine last wish, O Must Ana?
Today thine grey(matter) banned
Thine, thine (you swine) grey(matter) banned
Today thine grey(matter) banned, O devious wanna-be
Shall it be Chowqed or be left (un-banChowkqed)?
Bull! To what school shall I send thee? – 2X
Shall I kill thee or let thee ride scot-free?
Bull! To what school shall I send thee? – 2X
[In the end, I pretend to be in drunkard’s Nirvana but in truth, I am slyly watching the proceedings reach their logical conclusion.]
Jack of all tirades. Been delivering double antendre and firing saliva-less salvos since 2009 from the 'Land of the Pure',
Sunday, 27 December 2009
Shania “Shunno” Twain - The Perfect Face
Beautiful science
The men in white-coats, kind discoverers of hidden beauty, claim: “The ‘key to the ideal arrangement of female facial features is the measurements between the eyes, mouth and ears.”
In 1971 Pakistan had its ideal geographical features re-arranged. Just next doors in Afghanistan, the American and Allied make-up artists remain busy in yet another ‘war theatre’ of their own making.
Given that advertisers never tire of propping up before eager male eyes one beautiful face after another, the ‘scientific’ discovery mentioned above will bring good business to the beauty industry. As a bonus, such diversions will make the wretched masses forget about the G-WOE (global war of error) for brief moments.
Resistance is useless. Men are advised to put that silly measuring tape down and stop chasing after their spouses to note why that ‘other woman’ looks dimensionally perfect.
In the East we neither measure a man by his worth in Dollars nor a woman by her bodily and facial measurements which the researchers say are important. When Eastern men fall in love, they do so with their heart and soul and not, as most Western men do, through the love muscle.
Shania who?
Back to the story now. The men in white coats applied their results to the Canadian pop singer, Shania Twain, and rated her as having the perfect visage.
It is sad that Shania’s husband—Robert John “Mutt” Lange, the legendary rock music producer for rock bands AC/DC and Def Leppard—heard about this ‘scientific discovery’ a bit too late. The couple separated and then divorced.
Mutt, seventeen years older to Shania, will continue his ‘affair’ with their friend and house manager Marie-Anne Thiébaud. Mutt means a dog that has characteristics of two or more breeds, a mongrel.
A Canadian conspiracy
The study, led by the University of Toronto, appears in the journal Vision Research. Please bear in mind that Shania Twain (born as Eilleen Regina Edwards on 28 August, 1965) also hails from Canada. That alone explains why droves of hot-blooded Pakistanis are settling in frozen-hell Canada.
The researchers asked students to rate the attractiveness of colour photographs of the same woman's face, laid out side by side. Using Photoshop, they altered the vertical distance between the eyes and mouth, and the horizontal distance between the eyes in each image.
The features themselves never changed, just the distance between them did, while they compared the woman's face to herself. Following a series of experiments, the researchers came up with the most attractive length and width ratios between features.
On length, the distance between a woman's eyes and mouth should be just over a third or 36%, of the overall length of her face, from hairline to chin.
For width, they calculated that the space between a woman's pupils should be just under half, or 46%, of the width of her face from ear to ear.
Fortunately, the researchers calculated that these ratios corresponded to an average face and that the women who did not fit the ‘perfect dimensions’ had no need to resort to fashionable plastic surgery, although hairstyles could be used in effect to create an optical illusion.
Other runner-ups
Lead researcher Professor Kang Lee said the face of actress and renowned beauty Angelina Jolie did not fit the golden ratio for either length or width. I offer my condolences to Pakistan’s ex-president Musharraf who shook Angelina’s hand like a true commando while Brad Pitt conveniently looked out of the presidency’s window.
British actress Elizabeth Hurley scored well on the golden ratio for length, and just missed out the width measurement. Nevertheless, divorcee Shania Twain, 44, whose hits include ‘Man, I feel like a woman!’ eclipsed both the women. The results suggest her face has a perfect set of geometric measurements.
The not-so-pretty others
The study looked only at white women, and the researchers admit their findings were inapplicable to other groups such as the Chinese and the Africans.
Professor David Perrett, of the perception lab at St Andrew's University, said, “The physical dimensions of a face provide many clues about the health and fertility of the owner. Men tend to be attracted to female faces that are young and feminine probably because they suggest heightened fertility.”
When was the last time you looked at the other sex or someone’s ex keeping fertility in mind?
The professor also said, “The distance between features was probably less important than the appearance of the features themselves. For instance, a man is likely to be attracted by big eyes, rather than by the fact that they were a certain distance apart.”
Enough of this geometry
Forget for a moment what the good professor said and allow me to recall where I first saw Shania’s ‘perfect face’.
I was in Paris on a business trip. Bored and alone one afternoon (yes one can feel like that in the ‘city of lovers’) I started to switch television channels looking for something English. I suddenly stopped at the MTV channel because Shania Twain’s song, ‘This Moment On’, was on air.
When it finished, I took a cold shower and quickly left the hotel room for a brisk walk on Avenue des Champs-Élysées. Not a single damsel possessed the fire power of Shania Twain. I was afraid to return to the hotel room lest Shania leapt at me through the television screen. From that moment on, she was not Shania but affectionate Shunno to me.
Salient features
Monsieurs and Mademoiselles, Shunno’s video bowled me clean for a duck; the following were some of the salient features:
1) The modesty of her ‘hijab’ and ‘abaya’ had the potential of attracting hordes of very religious-minded women.
2) The dress was flashy yet revealed only a sample pack of her flesh.
3) She was bare-footed, which meant she could outpace the fastest male cheetah.
4) The colour of her eyes—assuming she wore no coloured contact lenses—was almost the same as that of my eyes; this common something meant a great deal to me.
5) The lyrics were as good as my 'Bollywood Song Parodies'.
6) The melody flowed beautifully just like her dress’s tail did.
7) She used her eyebrows to great effect, and which affected me permanently once I returned to the country of my origin.
There was more that I noticed but I think it will be fair if I allowed you to see the video of the song to judge for yourselves what I mean.
©Tahir Gul Hasan, 2009 (re-edited 15 September 2019)
Video of unplugged version of (with Alison Krauss and Union Station):
‘From This Moment’
Original video
The original song (not downloadable)
The same song: 'HD' version
The researchers asked students to rate the attractiveness of colour photographs of the same woman's face, laid out side by side. Using Photoshop, they altered the vertical distance between the eyes and mouth, and the horizontal distance between the eyes in each image.
The features themselves never changed, just the distance between them did, while they compared the woman's face to herself. Following a series of experiments, the researchers came up with the most attractive length and width ratios between features.
On length, the distance between a woman's eyes and mouth should be just over a third or 36%, of the overall length of her face, from hairline to chin.
For width, they calculated that the space between a woman's pupils should be just under half, or 46%, of the width of her face from ear to ear.
Fortunately, the researchers calculated that these ratios corresponded to an average face and that the women who did not fit the ‘perfect dimensions’ had no need to resort to fashionable plastic surgery, although hairstyles could be used in effect to create an optical illusion.Other runner-ups
Lead researcher Professor Kang Lee said the face of actress and renowned beauty Angelina Jolie did not fit the golden ratio for either length or width. I offer my condolences to Pakistan’s ex-president Musharraf who shook Angelina’s hand like a true commando while Brad Pitt conveniently looked out of the presidency’s window.
British actress Elizabeth Hurley scored well on the golden ratio for length, and just missed out the width measurement. Nevertheless, divorcee Shania Twain, 44, whose hits include ‘Man, I feel like a woman!’ eclipsed both the women. The results suggest her face has a perfect set of geometric measurements.
The not-so-pretty others
The study looked only at white women, and the researchers admit their findings were inapplicable to other groups such as the Chinese and the Africans.
Professor David Perrett, of the perception lab at St Andrew's University, said, “The physical dimensions of a face provide many clues about the health and fertility of the owner. Men tend to be attracted to female faces that are young and feminine probably because they suggest heightened fertility.”When was the last time you looked at the other sex or someone’s ex keeping fertility in mind?
The professor also said, “The distance between features was probably less important than the appearance of the features themselves. For instance, a man is likely to be attracted by big eyes, rather than by the fact that they were a certain distance apart.”
Enough of this geometry
Forget for a moment what the good professor said and allow me to recall where I first saw Shania’s ‘perfect face’.
I was in Paris on a business trip. Bored and alone one afternoon (yes one can feel like that in the ‘city of lovers’) I started to switch television channels looking for something English. I suddenly stopped at the MTV channel because Shania Twain’s song, ‘This Moment On’, was on air.
When it finished, I took a cold shower and quickly left the hotel room for a brisk walk on Avenue des Champs-Élysées. Not a single damsel possessed the fire power of Shania Twain. I was afraid to return to the hotel room lest Shania leapt at me through the television screen. From that moment on, she was not Shania but affectionate Shunno to me.
Salient features
Monsieurs and Mademoiselles, Shunno’s video bowled me clean for a duck; the following were some of the salient features:
1) The modesty of her ‘hijab’ and ‘abaya’ had the potential of attracting hordes of very religious-minded women.2) The dress was flashy yet revealed only a sample pack of her flesh.
3) She was bare-footed, which meant she could outpace the fastest male cheetah.
4) The colour of her eyes—assuming she wore no coloured contact lenses—was almost the same as that of my eyes; this common something meant a great deal to me.
5) The lyrics were as good as my 'Bollywood Song Parodies'.
6) The melody flowed beautifully just like her dress’s tail did.
7) She used her eyebrows to great effect, and which affected me permanently once I returned to the country of my origin.
There was more that I noticed but I think it will be fair if I allowed you to see the video of the song to judge for yourselves what I mean.
©Tahir Gul Hasan, 2009 (re-edited 15 September 2019)
Video of unplugged version of (with Alison Krauss and Union Station):
‘From This Moment’
Original video
The original song (not downloadable)
The same song: 'HD' version
Jack of all tirades. Been delivering double antendre and firing saliva-less salvos since 2009 from the 'Land of the Pure',
Friday, 25 December 2009
Mr Jinnah’s Soul
Always busy sermonising, the pair of homing pigeons, messers AAZ & SYRG, have yet again urged the ‘country to unite and reclaim the values, which Qaid-e-Azam Muhammad Ali Jinnah bequeathed to the nation as his heritage.’
Do they mean a coming together of East and West Pakistan? They did not elaborate upon the exact values, but then who cares about the values when every unjust tax will soon be renamed VALUE-added tax? What I would love most for my compatriots to do is to unite and reclaim all the taxes from the income tax department.
First, we pay income tax on earnings through jobs that the government neither created nor gave us. Second, we pay yet more taxes on the utility bills. Now, If I light up a bulb in my hut, why must I be taxed? Since we are being kept in the dark, must I live in the dark as well? If I make a phone call, why must I pay advance income tax when my employer deducts income tax, on a monthly basis, ‘at source? Finally, why must I pay tax upon tax upon tax when a tax relief upon a tax relief upon a tax relief should be the order of the day?
On the Qaid’s 133rd birth anniversary, AAZ said, “I wish to felicitate the nation on the Qaid’s birth anniversary and urge the people to forge unity in their ranks to preserve and protect their democratic and political rights and thereby make Pakistan a shining example of prosperity and progress.”
Hollow words indeed, celebrating the great leader’s birthday without a birthday cake is ridiculous. If they can eat Zulfiqar Ali or Benazir’s birthday cakes, where is the Qaid’s cake? They ought to thank the Qaid for resting where he does in Karachi. I am sure that each stately visit and routine signature in the visitors’ book placed at Mr Jinnah’s mausoleum tortures his soul a great deal. The regular descent of our living legends, just to check if the founding father is still unthreateningly inside his marble grave, is an insult to the man’s remains, not to mention the stress the tons of marble used in the structure must feel when the likes of AAZ or SYRG walk up the stairs.
The only institution that is famous for forging unity is the one that wears khaki uniforms, and it can defend itself well against the evil of ‘bloody civilian’ interference. To add injury to the insult, the same undemocratic force forcibly attempts—after generously allowing us self-rule for a few years—to teach us what kind of a kicking donkey democracy really is. Pause to think: through exactly what rights might an ordinary citizen turn the state into a ‘shining example’, when the sold-out leaders busy themselves performing shoeshine jobs for America and its silly allies?
AAZ also said, “Jinnah’s birthday was a day of rededication to the ideals and principles of the Father of the Nation. It is a day of introspection and reflection, to pause and ponder as to what steps we can take to protect the ideals and principles for which the Qaid created this homeland.”
Agreed, it is a day of reflection, a reflection upon the sorry mess in which the men in the corridors of power have landed us. If we did not pause to ponder over the Great Banana Split of 1971, how can we do it with ease at this moment? When Ayub, Yahya, Zia and Musharraf did not pause to ponder, whose shining example must dictators—civil and military—follow now?
SYRG added said, “The best tribute the country could pay to Jinnah was allegiance to the principles that he had espoused in his life and the values, which he had promoted throughout his career. The country’s architect had achieved a miracle through his own determination and the spirit of self-sacrifice shown by the Muslims of the subcontinent. He led Muslims out of their perplexities and frustration to freedom and gave shape, significance and direction to their quest for liberty. Jinnah’s birth anniversary calls for reappraisal of the situation and rededication to the national cause. He stood for the rule of law, for freedom and democracy, for social justice and or discipline and ordered progress.”
We read all that in class eight, thank you. The founding father worked so hard, he died of tuberculosis; the ones that suck our blood these days produce so little of use to the people, they are not bound to leave for the eternal abode until at least one thousand years. Mr Jinnah was surely the ‘country’s architect’ who left it at the mercy of destructive contractors.
Just last night, I saw on the tunnel vision (let us call it ‘television’), an old clip of Zulfiqar Ali exhorting the nation to eat grass for a thousand years and then die fighting; it was followed by his daughter shouting more or less the same thing to the mesmerised masses. Finally, we were shown Bilawal who sounded worst than his grandfather and his mother, and repeating the same thing with none of that Oxford finesse. In short, all the leaders want from the toiling masses wearing grass skirts is to fight an unknown enemy until death.
With everybody and his dog nicely settled in America, Canada or Australia, where is our educated class? Living in near-perfect systems, what difference are they all making in a foreign land? While I ask our leaders to tell me what they mean by the silly words they utter on certain dates of national importance, those living comfortably abroad need to ask the same men more disturbing questions.
I once sharply rebuked an older cousin for stating for the consumption of the American media that he ‘wanted to see an alignment of America’s aims with that of Pakistan’s.’
Our leaders here do not have much of an aim, but what I—or even Mr Jinnah, for that matter—would not want for this one-legged country is to walk on the yellow-brick road of evil. To throw away the crutches requires, in our case, the moral courage of a proud Muslim.
Postscript:
In Yuhanabad, there is no joy today for Christians like Faqir Masih who was forced by poverty to sell a kidney to unscrupulous organ traders.
“Religious minorities are an easy prey’, says the 32-year-old balloon-seller responsible for his mother, two brothers and a sister.
A year ago, he succumbed to the pressure of having to sell a kidney to raise money for his poor family; he still experiences excruciating pain.
“Christmas, as usual, won’t bring any joy this year as we can’t celebrate,” he said wearing dirty clothes, seated on a broken bed next to his old mother.
“These people came and asked me to sell my kidney for Rs 150,000. They said that I would be able to buy a new house and send my brothers and sister to a good school. After the surgery, they gave me Rs 40,000 and warned me of serious consequences when I asked for the remaining amount. These people didn’t even give me proper medical treatment after the surgery”, he said showing a cut on his abdomen.
Most Christians in Yuhanabad, 20 kilometres east of Lahore, are labourers and workers who live hand to mouth in dilapidated houses. However, the showy celebrations of the elite of richer Christians of Lahore mean Christmas trees, new clothes, and wining and dining with friends and family.
Adeeb-ul-Hasan Rizvi, head of the Sindh Institute of Urology and Transplantation, is considered the ‘father of a bill in the parliament that outlaws Pakistan’s big kidney bazaar’.
“We calculated roughly at least 2,000 kidneys are transplanted in the country every year—500 legally and the rest illegally,” Dr Rizvi said, putting last year’s trade at $12 million.
The rich from the West benefit from all this. Christians are not the only victims with millions of Pakistanis living in bonded labour. Some sell kidneys in the hope of paying back cash advances from landlords and freeing themselves from modern-day slavery.
Bones protruding from his skin, Muhammad Ilyas became the fourth person in a family of eleven to sell a kidney in an effort to pay off a loan.
“I saw a big bucket full of knives, cutters and scissors, I got scared. I thought about running away but all the doors were locked and I was surrounded by half a dozen men who were eager to cut my body,” he lamented.
Do they mean a coming together of East and West Pakistan? They did not elaborate upon the exact values, but then who cares about the values when every unjust tax will soon be renamed VALUE-added tax? What I would love most for my compatriots to do is to unite and reclaim all the taxes from the income tax department.
First, we pay income tax on earnings through jobs that the government neither created nor gave us. Second, we pay yet more taxes on the utility bills. Now, If I light up a bulb in my hut, why must I be taxed? Since we are being kept in the dark, must I live in the dark as well? If I make a phone call, why must I pay advance income tax when my employer deducts income tax, on a monthly basis, ‘at source? Finally, why must I pay tax upon tax upon tax when a tax relief upon a tax relief upon a tax relief should be the order of the day?
On the Qaid’s 133rd birth anniversary, AAZ said, “I wish to felicitate the nation on the Qaid’s birth anniversary and urge the people to forge unity in their ranks to preserve and protect their democratic and political rights and thereby make Pakistan a shining example of prosperity and progress.”
Hollow words indeed, celebrating the great leader’s birthday without a birthday cake is ridiculous. If they can eat Zulfiqar Ali or Benazir’s birthday cakes, where is the Qaid’s cake? They ought to thank the Qaid for resting where he does in Karachi. I am sure that each stately visit and routine signature in the visitors’ book placed at Mr Jinnah’s mausoleum tortures his soul a great deal. The regular descent of our living legends, just to check if the founding father is still unthreateningly inside his marble grave, is an insult to the man’s remains, not to mention the stress the tons of marble used in the structure must feel when the likes of AAZ or SYRG walk up the stairs.
The only institution that is famous for forging unity is the one that wears khaki uniforms, and it can defend itself well against the evil of ‘bloody civilian’ interference. To add injury to the insult, the same undemocratic force forcibly attempts—after generously allowing us self-rule for a few years—to teach us what kind of a kicking donkey democracy really is. Pause to think: through exactly what rights might an ordinary citizen turn the state into a ‘shining example’, when the sold-out leaders busy themselves performing shoeshine jobs for America and its silly allies?
AAZ also said, “Jinnah’s birthday was a day of rededication to the ideals and principles of the Father of the Nation. It is a day of introspection and reflection, to pause and ponder as to what steps we can take to protect the ideals and principles for which the Qaid created this homeland.”
Agreed, it is a day of reflection, a reflection upon the sorry mess in which the men in the corridors of power have landed us. If we did not pause to ponder over the Great Banana Split of 1971, how can we do it with ease at this moment? When Ayub, Yahya, Zia and Musharraf did not pause to ponder, whose shining example must dictators—civil and military—follow now?
SYRG added said, “The best tribute the country could pay to Jinnah was allegiance to the principles that he had espoused in his life and the values, which he had promoted throughout his career. The country’s architect had achieved a miracle through his own determination and the spirit of self-sacrifice shown by the Muslims of the subcontinent. He led Muslims out of their perplexities and frustration to freedom and gave shape, significance and direction to their quest for liberty. Jinnah’s birth anniversary calls for reappraisal of the situation and rededication to the national cause. He stood for the rule of law, for freedom and democracy, for social justice and or discipline and ordered progress.”
We read all that in class eight, thank you. The founding father worked so hard, he died of tuberculosis; the ones that suck our blood these days produce so little of use to the people, they are not bound to leave for the eternal abode until at least one thousand years. Mr Jinnah was surely the ‘country’s architect’ who left it at the mercy of destructive contractors.
Just last night, I saw on the tunnel vision (let us call it ‘television’), an old clip of Zulfiqar Ali exhorting the nation to eat grass for a thousand years and then die fighting; it was followed by his daughter shouting more or less the same thing to the mesmerised masses. Finally, we were shown Bilawal who sounded worst than his grandfather and his mother, and repeating the same thing with none of that Oxford finesse. In short, all the leaders want from the toiling masses wearing grass skirts is to fight an unknown enemy until death.
With everybody and his dog nicely settled in America, Canada or Australia, where is our educated class? Living in near-perfect systems, what difference are they all making in a foreign land? While I ask our leaders to tell me what they mean by the silly words they utter on certain dates of national importance, those living comfortably abroad need to ask the same men more disturbing questions.
I once sharply rebuked an older cousin for stating for the consumption of the American media that he ‘wanted to see an alignment of America’s aims with that of Pakistan’s.’
Our leaders here do not have much of an aim, but what I—or even Mr Jinnah, for that matter—would not want for this one-legged country is to walk on the yellow-brick road of evil. To throw away the crutches requires, in our case, the moral courage of a proud Muslim.
Postscript:
In Yuhanabad, there is no joy today for Christians like Faqir Masih who was forced by poverty to sell a kidney to unscrupulous organ traders.
“Religious minorities are an easy prey’, says the 32-year-old balloon-seller responsible for his mother, two brothers and a sister.
A year ago, he succumbed to the pressure of having to sell a kidney to raise money for his poor family; he still experiences excruciating pain.
“Christmas, as usual, won’t bring any joy this year as we can’t celebrate,” he said wearing dirty clothes, seated on a broken bed next to his old mother.
“These people came and asked me to sell my kidney for Rs 150,000. They said that I would be able to buy a new house and send my brothers and sister to a good school. After the surgery, they gave me Rs 40,000 and warned me of serious consequences when I asked for the remaining amount. These people didn’t even give me proper medical treatment after the surgery”, he said showing a cut on his abdomen.
Most Christians in Yuhanabad, 20 kilometres east of Lahore, are labourers and workers who live hand to mouth in dilapidated houses. However, the showy celebrations of the elite of richer Christians of Lahore mean Christmas trees, new clothes, and wining and dining with friends and family.
Adeeb-ul-Hasan Rizvi, head of the Sindh Institute of Urology and Transplantation, is considered the ‘father of a bill in the parliament that outlaws Pakistan’s big kidney bazaar’.
“We calculated roughly at least 2,000 kidneys are transplanted in the country every year—500 legally and the rest illegally,” Dr Rizvi said, putting last year’s trade at $12 million.
The rich from the West benefit from all this. Christians are not the only victims with millions of Pakistanis living in bonded labour. Some sell kidneys in the hope of paying back cash advances from landlords and freeing themselves from modern-day slavery.
Bones protruding from his skin, Muhammad Ilyas became the fourth person in a family of eleven to sell a kidney in an effort to pay off a loan.
“I saw a big bucket full of knives, cutters and scissors, I got scared. I thought about running away but all the doors were locked and I was surrounded by half a dozen men who were eager to cut my body,” he lamented.
Jack of all tirades. Been delivering double antendre and firing saliva-less salvos since 2009 from the 'Land of the Pure',
Thursday, 24 December 2009
Christmas and New Year Wishes
I wish all my Christian friends:
A MERRY CHRISTMAS and a very HAPPY 2010 !!
Do remember to wish the poor Muslims when they celebrate their religious events; it will promote love and understanding.
Do not get drunk, and do not party all night long; do what Jesus did: FIGHT USURY, the root of today’s evil.
A MERRY CHRISTMAS and a very HAPPY 2010 !!
Do remember to wish the poor Muslims when they celebrate their religious events; it will promote love and understanding.
Do not get drunk, and do not party all night long; do what Jesus did: FIGHT USURY, the root of today’s evil.
Jack of all tirades. Been delivering double antendre and firing saliva-less salvos since 2009 from the 'Land of the Pure',
Monday, 21 December 2009
Work Sets You Free (at Auschwitz)
And ye shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free.
Then Adolf, the Fuhrer with a dangerously short moustache, came along and decided that not truth but actually work set one free. He even set up camps where, according to some, he sprayed the fresh arrivals with Zyklon-B in order to rid them of lice and other religious infections.
Zyklon-B was invented by Dr. Fritz Haber; it was meant to be used as an insecticide. Haber also invented synthetic Ammonia, a chemical used in fertilizer and explosives. By 1914, Haber was an internationally respected scientist, having perfected a process for extracting nitrates from the atmosphere. Used initially to produce fertilizer, Zyklon-B was used in the mass production of explosives vital to Germany's war effort. He dedicated himself to Germany in its hour of need and used his scientific knowledge to put an end to the deadlock on the western front. Originally of Jewish origin, Haber had renounced Judaism to become a Christian to prove his patriotism for the fatherland.
Throughout research, Haber had faced strong opposition from his wife and PhD chemist Clara Immerwahr, who felt that this work into chemical warfare was an awful perversion of the humanitarian values that science stood for. Like a good husband, Haber ignored her objections and continued his research in secret, until a laboratory accident claimed the life of one Clara’s friends. Her objections turned into total hatred but Haber pressed on, believing that poison gas was more humane than bullets.
At the end of 1914, Haber approached the military with his new weapon and promised them victory. He faced strong scepticism since chemical warfare was both a new concept, violated the sense of honour and military tradition. Germany was a signatory of the Hague Convention which banned the use of gas in war. The German government initially rejected his ideas but in late 1915, as the casualties began to mount, they reconsidered and assigned Haber a military rank entitling him to work at developing a gas Corps.
At Ypres on 22nd April 1915, the gas cylinders released a deadly cloud that enveloped a battlefield full of unsuspecting French and Algerian troops. Ten thousand men died where they fell, bayonets, watches, human skin, everything in the cloud’s path was stained green; the face of war stood irrevocably changed.
The death toll was enormous but the Germans failed to gain an advantage. The other governments quickly labelled the attack a violation of international law, but Germany argued that the Hague treaty had only banned chemical shells, and not the use of gas projectors. Haber was a failure but he was hailed a hero and promoted to the rank of Captain, something very rare for a civilian.
Horrified by her husband’s participation in the deaths of so many, his wife Clara committed suicide with his service pistol, by shooting herself in the heart. Unmoved, the next morning Haber headed to the Eastern Front to personally oversee the next gas attack against the Russians.
After the war, Haber, fearful of facing a war crimes trial, was rewarded with a Nobel Prize for his pre-war work on nitrates; this honour left him free to conduct research into more gas weapons. While the good folks thought he was developing pesticides, in the 1920s he developed another toxic gas from hydro-cyanic acid that, in enclosed space, was also highly effective at killing humans.
Twenty years later Zyklon-B would be used in Nazi camps. Not all victims of the genocide were Haber's own Jewish people; such a cruel twist of fate he could not have foreseen. Members of his extended family also died in concentration camps possibly by Zyklon-B. Rejected by the country he had strived so hard to serve above all other considerations, he was chased out of Germany. A broken man, Haber died of heart failure a year later in exile in Switzerland.
Enough of this horrible history lesson; I remember seeing a documentary in which the researcher, disguised as a restless Jew, went around such areas of Auschwitz camp that were marked ‘Out Of Bounds’ for the unsuspecting tourists. He found that the numbers of Jews who were allegedly gassed and then buried around the compound were greatly exaggerated. In fact, he noted that the gas used in those alleged ‘death camps’ was a disinfectant.
He also pointed out that the Auschwitz camp had a gymnasium—one wonders why Adolf, himself almost Jewish, wanted the ‘inferior race’ to die in perfect health. The camp also had its own currency—once again one wonders why Adolf wanted the poor inmates to have money to buy things from the local cafeteria.
The same researcher also noted the structural improvements of the alleged ‘concentration camp’ were not what they seemed—although the remnants of ‘God’s chosen people’ presented them to the world as ‘killer gas chambers’. It was his contention that the metallic ovens were used to rid the place of filthy clothes that the new arrivals wore when they came, and not for incinerating human beings. In short, the documentary was as convincing as the attempts of Hollywood and the Holocaust industry’s hype of showing the Germans as evil incarnate.
Adolf was so in love with the idea of hanging an appropriate sign over the entrance gate to the Auschwitz camp, he chose ‘Arbeit Macht Frei’ (Work Sets You Free) to be displayed.
Fast forward. Only a few days ago, a theft took place in the same ‘death camp’ which is now a major tourist attraction; some folks stole Adolf’s infamous sign. It is ironic that on the same day that the German government announced it would contribute sixty million Euro to help preserve the Auschwitz-Birkenau ‘death camp’, the iconic entry sign reading, ‘Arbeit Macht Frei’, was stolen.
“The sign was nothing less than a desecration”, writes Rabbi Andrew Baker.
May I request Dr. Mahatir Muhammad and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad to clarify if it was or was not a desecration? Will it be a correct assumption that what Adolf meant was: Work to get paid, or get laid off.
What is happening right now under our noses is far more important than what happened in WW-II. In any case, the ‘chosen race’ has been more than adequately compensated by the German government. With an increasing number of people interested in earning the daily bread rather than paying the Auschwitz museum a visit, the theft may have been the coolest publicity stunt of this winter.
LATEST:
On 21 December 2009, the Police said they arrested five suspects–aged between 20 and 39–and taken them to Krakow (the nearest city to Auschwitz) for questioning.
Jack of all tirades. Been delivering double antendre and firing saliva-less salvos since 2009 from the 'Land of the Pure',
Friday, 18 December 2009
Happy 1431
I wish all the believing (and practising) Muslims a very
HAPPY NEW YEAR (1431 Hijrah, to be precise)
Now, do not let the label '01 Muharram' distract you.
Notice that while Muslims go out of their way to wish 'Happy New year' to Christian friends, the latter never reciprocate when the Islamic year changes—so much for a connected world.
Be strong and have lots of faith.
As we witness the G-WOE (global war of error), never lose hope.
HAPPY NEW YEAR (1431 Hijrah, to be precise)
Now, do not let the label '01 Muharram' distract you.
Notice that while Muslims go out of their way to wish 'Happy New year' to Christian friends, the latter never reciprocate when the Islamic year changes—so much for a connected world.
Be strong and have lots of faith.
As we witness the G-WOE (global war of error), never lose hope.
Jack of all tirades. Been delivering double antendre and firing saliva-less salvos since 2009 from the 'Land of the Pure',
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