Throwing Babies Off Buildings?

I am so happy the Indusian authorities have decided to ban the baby-tossing festival of Bangalore.

This ancient ritual requires babies to be tossed from the top of a nine-metre temple; something we would never do to Pakistani children.

Every first week of December in a rural district in the state of Karnataka, villagers drop babies from the top of a Hindu temple onto a blanket held by a crowd below, amid dancing and singing.

Thousands of people assembled on Wednesday at the temple near Indi in the district of Bijapur to witness the event, which is said to confer good health and a long life on the baby and bring prosperity to the family. But the centuries-old tradition has fallen foul of local authorities.

“As I am new to the district, I did not know about the unusual ritual, which is inhuman and terrifying for babies,” Bijapur deputy commissioner R Shantharaj told AFP by phone from the district, 600 kilometres from state capital Bangalore.

“I intend to prevent the people from indulging in such acts next time.”

Good work DC sahib! I hope the west does not ape the east in using their skyscrappers for the sake increasing life-spans and health of their newborns.

A New Sport Called 'BanChowqing'

BanChowqing does not mean 'being banned' at Chowq for any apparent reason; it is a dangerous new sport introduced at this yubb-site by the talented Chowq Stuffed. There is only one team in this game; it plays against itself—I am sure you grownups know what, those who play with themselves, are called.

This lonely team comprises of only three persons; remember that three is not a crowd in some activities. One person is the goalkeeper; the other is a hired hand who merely generates the required number of clicks each month, while the third person is a referee. It is all in the family, you see.

When the ball(s) hit the goalpost, the team members shout in unison: BanChowqed! In addition, when the ‘fixed’ match ends, one member presents the silver cup to the second one, while the third one claps happily. This kind of clapping is unique and is well suited to the dangerous new sport called BanChowqing: they just slap themselves over their own faces and imagine it is public applause.

Happy BanChowqing!

Globalization and Homeland Security

You may stop scratching your heads to find the true meaning of the Globalization. Someone sent me the following definition:

Question:
What is the truest definition of Globalization?

Answer:
Princess Diana's death

Question:
How so?

Answer:
An English princess with an Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a French tunnel, driving a German car with a Dutch engine, driven by a Belgian who was drunk on Scottish whiskey, (check the bottle before you change the spelling), followed closely by Italian Paparazzis, on Japanese motorcycles; treated by an American doctor, using Brazilian medicines.

This is sent to you by a Canadian, using American Bill Gates's technology, and you're probably reading this on your computer, that uses Taiwanese chips, and a Korean monitor, assembled by Bangladeshi workers in a Singapore plant, transported by Indian truck drivers, hijacked by Indonesians, unloaded by Sicilian longshoremen, and trucked to you by Mexican illegals.... .

That, my friends, is Globalization.

PS: This message has been brough to you—ta da—by the Chinese!

*******

The department of Homeland Security too has been re-defined!

It is said that 150 years ago, President Lincoln found it necessary to hire a private investigator for protection.

That was the beginning of the Secret Service.

Since then, the Federal government has produced a large number of multi-letter agencies such as: FBI, CIA, INS, IRS, DEA, BATF, etc.

Now we have the "Federal Air Transportation Airport Security Service". These 'highly trained' men and women in their black outfits with jackets saying across the backs: "F.A.T.A.S.S."

The FATASS's are supervised by a special section of the Home Land Security Section known as: Airport Security Service Home Office Logistics Enhancement Section.

You will enjoy figuring out the acronym for this particular agency in your spare time!