Thursday, 9 February 2012

Selling Their Mothers By The Pound

Flash back.

“Pakistanis will sell their mothers for a dollar”, remarked an American prosecutor about Pakistani officials who had allegedly played an important role in capturing Aimal Kansi, wanted in the USA for killing two CIA officials outside the Agency’s headquarters in Langley, Virginia. God forgives easily, men seldom do. This Johnny later apologized to Pakistanis but his insult was neither forgiven nor forgotten.

Flash forward to 2010.

‘Breast milk ice cream seized in London amid health and safety complaints’, read a recent news headline—it was bust-breaking news for Londoners.

Meet the maker

At the centre of the controversy was an ice-cream salon called The Icecreamists in London’s Covent Garden, which generated news headlines around the world with the debut of its ‘Baby Gaga’ vanilla and lemon-scented dessert mixed with human breast milk. It would be fair to assume that mostly those deprived of mother’s milk during infancy and fed instead with synthetic infant formulae flocked to empty the salon’s freezers within hours of the creamy launch. The makers commanded £14 for its ‘organic, all-natural’ product in a martini glass accompanied by a bottle of breast milk cocktail.

While love-starved motherless consumers insisted that the ice-cream was ‘natural, organic, and free range’, it was feared that important British leaders, with strict mothers at home, might get addicted to the unheard of milky delight and overnight turn into babbling babes to begin speaking in forked tongues in the cradle of civilization: the oily East.

London’s health authorities launched a tit for tat operation and, unable to arrest the milk-selling mothers, promptly tested the ice cream’s fitness for human consumption and then confiscated the entire ‘unsafe’ supply. Matt O'Connor, the founder and owner of The Icecreamists, never gave up clamouring that the product was ‘made using milk from as many as fifteen mothers who donated by responding to online advertisements.’ One wonders what Matt’s own mother has to say on the topic.

Considering that The Icecreamists obtained no guidance from Britain's Food Standards Agency, the Westminster City Council paid serious attention to complaints from the public over whether selling edibles made from other people's body fluids was illegal. Nevertheless, critics of the government reaction pointed out that ‘no law prohibited a business from selling breast milk ice cream’.

One can swallow pride, chew insults and tolerate illegal detention but to issue oneself a license to thrill with human milk is inexcusable. Why must virtues such as good sense, perfect English manners, and righteousness drown in River Thames?

The man behind The Icecreamists insisted, “Our products met the highest and safest of food standards and we welcomed the huge response to our fresh take on the world of ice cream. Baby Gaga ice-cream sold out as soon as it was launched and women who had signed with us were eager to donate more milk’.

The choice of the Baby Gaga name attracted the wrath of popular superstar Lady Gaga’s lawyers who objected to using the singer’s name and look-alike blonde waitress in a tight, sparkling outfit. The lawyers asked the shop’s owner to behave and recall the character-building lectures he received at school.

Mama Mummia, here we go again

Spare me some moments to read directly from history about cannibalism. As far back as 1000 AD, the crusading Europeans had Egyptian mummies burned, ground up, and turned into powder in order to eat it to cure bruises, coughs, epilepsy, migraines, ulcers, and cases of poison. Up until 1900, the dead remains of black people were considered magical potions and the adepts in churches were regularly given mummy powder (‘mummia’) as medicine. The English King Charles II (1630-1685) rubbed mummy powder on his skin, thinking he would turn into a ‘Pharaoh’. Many wanted terrorists, such as Bush and Blair, since then have rubbed viler things on themselves without ever turning into Pharaohs.

There was a time when the chaplain to Queen Catherine de Medici of France specially travelled to Egypt in 1549 and, with physicians from Italy by her side, broke into numerous tombs to hunt down the dead. The queen’s father-in-law, King Francis I of France, always carried an emergency supply of powdered mummy in a pouch around his waist.

Without doubt, such unkind consumption of dead Pharaohs in powder form permanently damaged the brains of the colonialists (British, French, Portuguese, Dutch, Italian and now American) because they sailed to the four corners of the globe expecting the natives to jump into their beds of broken promises and treacherous enslavement through economic subjugation and cultural destruction.

Serious research about mummia consuming colonialists’ descendants will reveal that they are alive and kicking in the shape of present-day ruling families who dream of mummified masses. It does not make a rusted Penny’s worth of a difference to the ex-colonies if the current Queen of England remains on the throne for sixty more years; with Egypt’s Hosni Mubarak removed from office, she just might be sitting on a mountain of mummia.

One might feel quite bowled over by the obsession of the enlightened Europeans with all things Egyptian—down to the pyramid on the American one dollar bill and the tyrannical Pharaoh-like form most governments have taken under the umbrella of a certain global organization. It also explains why it is only possible to shake off ‘tyrants’ if they are Muslims who attempt to break the yoke of usurious global finance.

The ‘Arab Spring’ might be more about the European supply of mummia running out than spread of demon-crazy. The European acts of cannibalism now have a new face: extraction of ice cream from desperately willing mothers. With a near-zero population growth rate, in future what else will the European Union export to the world except for mothers’ milk? Moreover, de-population in Africa still goes on through manufactured famines and viruses created in secret laboratories and called ‘elimination of poverty’ in clandestine gatherings.

Unholy acts in the holy land in the name of Christ

In 1098 AD, with mummia consumption at its peak, during the first crusade the Knights Templar laid siege to a town called Ma’arrat al-Numan where they killed 20,000 inhabitants, and then roasted to consume the remains of Saracens, Turks and their dogs. Historians Rudolph of Caen, Albert of Aix and Fulcher of Chartres minutely noted the deviltry of the hungry crusaders. As terror gripped the entire region, people wondered how Christian knights who had come to accompany pilgrims to the holy land misunderstood The Bible’s chapter John 6 (verses 52 through 56) as a license to cannibalize.

Crusaders throw down heads
Now, if the medieval Europeans did not spare the dead Africans and the inhabitants of Ma’arrat al-Numan, those alive today need not expect mercy. When George W. Bush used the word ‘crusade’ during one of his abominable speeches on G-WOE (global war of error), he knew and the Muslims knew better what that meant. What remains a fact is that historic atrocities have left deep scars in the region’s collective Muslim consciousness.

Elsewhere on the globe

Although nobody is out stealing mummies from the pyramids these days, ice cream salons in the ‘civilized world’ are coercing children’s mummies into selling their excess produce. We live in times when Muslim inmates in Iraqi jails are paraded naked and have their photographs taken by female American soldiers, dead Afghan fighters have their thumbs cut off by NATO warriors as souvenirs for ‘the folks back home’ and then urinated upon as ultimate revenge. These days, dead men do tell tales through YouTube videos.

The London Olympics of 2012 are just around the corner and the last thing Londoners would desire is derision of their strange eating habits, which seem to have strayed far from plain old fish and chips. Recent history proves it is not the first time restaurateurs have insulted mothers by using their milk as a major ingredient in food. Chef Daniel Angerer of Klee Brasserie in New York also used his wife's milk to make cheese for his restaurant. The cheese appeared on a canapé with figs and Hungarian pepper. This was shortly before September 2001, and because a few Arab infants wanted that motherly cheese too, 9/11 happened.
Israel’s wildest wet dream came true when a few ‘Arab’ infants smitten with love for Hollywood’s waywardness, and craving for demon-crazy instead of benevolent dictatorships were stricken blind with free-dumb of ex-pression. The American commander-in-chief, George W. Bush, received miraculous flashes of events as they unfolded. He continued to read a story to school children while the ‘Arabs’ brought down the Twin Breasts, stole a Global Hawk spy plane which caused a missile to chase it into the unzipped fly of the Pants-are-Gone Building scheduled for renovation, and took the passengers riding the fourth missile some place other than Disneyland.

They allowed Pearl Harbour to happen in order to perform the death experiment of atomic radiation on the yellow man instead of white Christian Hitler. As millions on this side of the fence continue to be ritually sacrificed by the Satanists ruling this world, the American people are slowly beginning to wake up to the fact that the truth is now destined to free everyone—unless some buy the world view sold by Langley, Virginia.

Seriously peaceful view

In the east, we take our mothers most seriously and do not stoop to Hollywood lows by producing films with titles like Throw Momma From The Train. Such is the importance, sanctity and bond of mother’s milk in Islam that anyone who drinks a woman’s milk, when less than two years of age, is considered her son or daughter. A sister is often called humsheera (hum: companion of, sheera: milk). Moreover, mothers often threaten erring sons with a rebuke, which translates, ‘I will not allow you to be blessed with my milk on resurrection day’ (meaning, ‘I will disown you and not plead before my Lord for your forgiveness’).

Matt and the waitress
In conclusion, selling ice cream made out of mothers’ milk is an affront to motherhood, milk terrorism, enslavement of free-for-babies breasts, starvation of deserving infants, and oppression of women in the west. This must stop.

Last call for ice cream

‘Civilized societies’ may have their sperm donors who fight legal battles over claims of motherhood or fatherhood, and they may also have their fully grown persons act like infants and bother donor mothers for human milk consumption long after the need to have it has ceased. We—if this is the standard of civility—are better off uncivilized.

With our judiciary’s impotency almost cured, we might hear a Pakistani Attorney General stand erect to remark ‘the British milk their mothers to sell ice-cream by the Pound to the general public’. Of course, he too like the American Johnny will quickly apologize once they burn in protest—as part of the 2012 Olympics’ opening event—our beloved President’s effigy on London Bridge before it falls down with the sound of an entrapped Muslim singing a famous nursery rhyme.


It appears that all traces of one, John Ashcroft, who uttered the ‘anti-Pakistani’ insult have been surgically removed by those who control the internet.

©Tahir Gul Hasan, 2012


Ayesha Zee Khan said...

TGH....You have written an excellent article dear dear friend. May the power of your pen (laptop) become omnipotent in all your forthcoming articles.....BRAVO!

faryal said...

EXCELLENT! What a read. Congratulations on reaching your readers mind Tahir.

TGH said...

AZK, God's creatures--unless taken over by Iblees--need to say what is absolutely truthful under all kinds of circumstances.
I know how this topic (and other topics weaved into the main topic) means to me as a Muslim. Thanks for being here; aap klass mein FURST ayi hein jee!
Stay blessed and have no fear. May a million pens (or keyboards) be unleashed on the minions of the devil.

TGH said...

Thanks for appreciating, Faryal. I reached many minds even as a young man. Of course, now as a child I can reach more of them!
I hope you let others read this article OF FAITH too! :))

Abaan said...

Another well researched article brother, What a reading experience... I admit again I AM YOUR FAN. You have all the time to research facts and then pen the truth down. Well written brother!!!

TGH said...

Thanks very much Abaan. Now head for the roof shout THIS IS THE TRUTH!
Tell the world around you about THIS reality. And the next time you talk to a 'civilized' IMPORTED person, tell him about his glorious past.
May Jesus have mercy on all of them...

TGH said...

Kelli from OUTER space wrote discreetly:
"I'm glad you have been posting here. You are highly intelligent, and I love being able to share all kinds of ideas with everyone. You have a unique perspective.

If I understood correctly you are a Muslim? Our media has done such a number on our public turning the Christians against the Muslims. All the time I believe it is our own government staging most of these events not only in our country, but the middle east. All they show us on the news is another Muslim blowing themselves up in the middle of a crowd of people or a wedding. I think most all of these events were staged, and are full of actors.

I am glad to have you as a friend because you are a highly intelligent Muslim that is able to communicate without the anger our media associates with the whole group. I have a lot of Muslim friends, and they are some of the sweetest and nicest people. I want to show my fans that all Muslims are not like what they see on TV, and you are helping that effort. I want them to open their eyes that we are all alike. We have dreams and passions, and our governments have been playing games with us all having us fighting all the time.

When I read I look for vocabulary but the human words are difficult to find. Although what you are writing is very interesting, I focus most of my time on searching for vocabulary.

I wanted this world to be a place where people could come and help each other spiritually without judging, or pushing religion on anybody. I see you answering people in the comments with good, sound advice. That's what I wanted. You guys all helping each other, and not judging each other. You are so helpful. The information you write will come to me slowly. Since I teach so much, I have to really concentrated when I learn something new. But for now, you are helping a lot of people. Cool!

Hope you have a great day!


teegee17 said...

Ker di na milk tickling waali baat oops rib tickling i meant. As usual, hats off to you Tahir for talking about serious issues .....which you have nicely covered with ICE CREAM just to make the read more inviting and palatable i guess. I do read all your blogs , even though i'm too lazy to comment most of the time. Carry on the good work , one does feel enlightened and sometimes it's just a manifestation of what one knows and feels but i for one don't have it in me to put my thoughts into words.

TGH said...

Thanks Tina for pouring it out--no pun intended here!
Yes, everybody has the ability to think, say a few words and even express it all through the mighty keyboard. Practise makes perfect; the idea here is to WAKE up at least my friends to the reality which is NOT portrayed by the mass media.
Stay well! :))

catty said...

"free range mothers" maybe this will take off if they start adding M&M's and crushed up oreos, or perhaps crushed up mummy into it? of course, the FDA will have to make a profit from it somehow, maybe they'll get around to it after they finish going after the raw milk folks. speaking of raw, shouldnt this breast milk be pasteurized?

TGH said...

Thanks for the DROP, Catty H.
Yes, anything that's a disaster for us is the FDA's game. Who knows, all that junk rolled into one might brng humanity together as brothers and sisters. Down with marriage and whatever else is sacred.
Pasteurized mama's milk? You need a pastor to do THAT! :)

Anonymous said...

Definitely well researched!!..
Thanks for sharing :)

TGH said...

Thanks for learning THIS lesson, Lynette!

Arooma Gul said...

I totally agree with your conclusion "selling ice cream made out of mothers’ milk is an affront to motherhood, milk terrorism, enslavement of free-for-babies breasts, starvation of deserving infants, and oppression of women in the west. This must stop."I cant find better words to condemn it. Its nasty, inhuman and heart breaking.
But I feel uncomfortable with your last thought, Pakistani Attorney General making a statement and apologizing later. Who wins in both cases (American Prosecutor's statement and Pakistani Attorney General statement)? CONTEMPT. Contempt for mothers, for "others", for "other's social norms".May be thats inherent in satire :)
As far as cannibalism is concerned, there have been a couple of cases in Pakistan in recent past. Is it rational to associate evil with a religion, a group or a nationality?
I am privileged to know your work. your socio political experience is far more extensive than mine and I have the highest respect for your knowledge :)
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts :)

TGH said...

Thanks for the comment, AG. Welcome to the jungle!
You seem like a sensitive and educated person and I'm happy that you've expressed yourself here as a 'faithful'.
Satire mixed with DEEP social comment is very hard to silence with guns. People are not really attuned to higher forms of writing; the mass media has numbed them beyond repair.
The last sentence deserves a LOL, it has many layers of meanings and which I encourage you to explore in your spare time.
There were some cases of grave-robbers committing acts of perversion but I know of no example in history where Muslim armies ate their enemy whole!
Hidden (no, its out in the open now) behind the global war of error (I call it G-WOE) is an all-out war against Islam and its anti-usury stance. Those who accuse Muslims of causing problems (for the poor bankers and war-mongers) need to first glance at their own sad history and policies steeped in Satanism, the tampered Scriptures and the licentious culture which they ram down our throats non-stop.
What are you NOT going to do for Uncle Sam?

imran said...

A very nice and well researched article. The way you wrote it is commendable."dead men do tell tales through YouTube videos" is classic ..... :)

TGH said...

Thanks for dropping by Imran. I know many Imrans--I'm sure you know many Tahirs.
I think the last sentence sums it up better. Whadayya say? :)
JOIN the blog if you care.

SMS Hindi said...

Offcourse well researched!!..
Thanks for sharing :)

TGH said...

Always welcome, SMS Hindi.

TGH said...

Elsewhere in cyberspace, Joyce Hansen wrote:

"Tahir, what an article! You are a fine writer and a man of many talents."

COMMENT: Joyce, thanks! You know I can't help it! :)

Alive said...

A Well researched satirical piece hitting the right notes.
Yes the West has always been prejudiced to rest of the world specially Muslim World. While uplifting Freedom of Speech and expression their stooping down to any level is legitimized but even a minutest reaction to their callous ways of living is taken as an act of aggression.
I watched a documentary on BBC about the Hasidic sect of Jews. Hasidi women cover up themselves almost like Muslims and do not shake hands with men, which was taken very lightly by the media team. I can recall a coverage by BBC in which they have denounced the same virtues of Muslim women as violation of Women rights. This clearly shows the negative image building of Muslims by the 96% Jewish controlled international media.
Some of us find it hard to believe that the present day scenario is actually the latest form of Historical crusades. We are losing on all fronts and unfortunately we have lot of Mir Jaffers and Mir Sadiqs and not a single Sultan Salahuddin.

TGH said...

Thanks for the heart-felt reply, ALIVE. Indeed you're alive and kickin', which is better than being anything else under these trying circumstances.
Of course, the nuns are no problem for the French and the British monarch--as the 'defender of the Christian FAITH'--is also no problem, the problem according to Samuel Huntington (God damn him, for his thoughts have been transformed into policy) are the Muslim Scriptures and the Muslims who wish to follow them for the sake of eternal salvation. We shall see which group winds up in hell.
I must save the rest of what I need to say for the next article. Keep interacting and spread the good word around.

Anonymous said...

Moral degradation has no rock bottom.. The Chinese curse has come true for the whole world, we sure live in interesting times.
I always enjoy your write ups..

Zor e qalam aur ziada..

TGH said...

Thanks, MS!
History in the making is always painful but by talking about forgotten events we just may learn something.
So what's new? :)

aukhabutt said...

woahahhaha ..vary truue all u b writtin all these stuf...i be follow u sinc chowk dayz . .. remamber.. .
u be puttin 2 much namkmirchi in woond of gora saab with theis artikal...ahahaha...
by last u be meanin london brigge fallin doun...dusso jeee / .

TGH said...

Butt, I never reveal my secrets. Of course, I remember your outbursts from the Chowq days!
When are you coming over for English lessons?

laila gul said...

l must complement you on writing this excellent and well researched article which I read it today. You are not only talented but Jack of all trades. You have penned down the real truth . You really inspire me 😊 Wishing you all the best for future endeavours. Keep up your good work . Regards - LG