Thursday, 9 December 2010

What Shall I Preach To You, Doll Rubber?

SEVERE WARNING: Parents who are under twenty-one years of age, must be accompanied by precocious children when reading this. If you are unfamiliar with the Urdu language, decoding my subtle jokes is impossible.

It is indeed a beautiful frog anthem; notice the slow beat provided by a chorus of ribbiting and croaking frogs. Composer Madam Mohan caught and trained the amphibians and had the legendary Muhammad Rafi turn this song into a classic.

I like neither Nutan’s antics nor Shekhar’s (male lead) gestures. Right from the beginning of this picnic in a jungle (complete with formal dress fit for a nightclub), a stocky woman seated on the heroine’s right side is shown making the hero her real business. Frequently she salivates looking at the raw hero, and is quite unable to wait for the arrival of properly cooked dinner.

Now this whole bit of creative Bollywood song parody will be more fun of you open the video in one browser window and the text in another window (press CTRL+T and paste the blog's URL in the address bar), re-size them on your screen and place them side by side, then derive maximum forbidden pleasure by watching the video and reading my text.

What shall I preach to you, Doll Rubber?
Right before you is my Hell, hey!
(Its a bait of) just one look from you
(But) its (also) a question of my life, aye! (not to mention my wife)
What shall I preach to you, Doll Rubber?

My ‘kosher’ activities prosper because of you, dumb(o)
My life too is (going great guns) because of your (healthy) gums
[Repeat both lines]
Remain oblivious of your (labour) pain?
How could my heart be such a daredevil?
(It’s a bait of) just one look from you
(But) it’s (also) a question of my life, aye! (not to mention my wife)
What shall I preach to you, Doll Rubber?

I have one eye on your beauty parlour (bills)
What more (back-)breaking news have you in the morning or past dinner time?
[Repeat both lines]
My (each flirtatious) evening is (spent inside) Just-a-Jew (night club)
My dawn is (an excuse for strange) thoughts
What shall I preach to you, Doll Rubber?

Get inside my cardiac arteries and liver – 2X
Why should the distance of a (lustful) look remain?
Get inside my cardiac arteries and liver
Why should the distance of a (lustful) look remain?
Without you, (sweet) Ginnie Joe
This life is a banged up mama’s hell
What shall I preach to you, Doll Rubber?
Right before you is my hell, hey!
(Its a bait of) just one look from you
(But) its (also) a question of my life, aye! (not to mention my wife)
What shall I preach to you, Doll Rubber?

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

Lolzzzzzzzzzzz you r awsm....just what i needed to setle my off mood...just love your satire..P.

TGH said...

Thanks for your guest appearance, Ann Nonymus. Enjoy while it lasts! Use the FOLLOW ME feature so that I know who wants to have fun. :)

teegee17 said...

OUFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF you are MADDDDDDDDDDDDDDD... how could you do this to such a beautiful song???????????Poor Madan Mohan And Mohammad Rafi must be turning in their graves....but it's so LOL LOL LOL>>> mwaahs for the laugh!

TGH said...

Dekha, Tina babay theek ho gayi hansi mazaq mein! I did ask you to don your X-goggles, didn't I? The more beautiful the song the better the masala! :)

Anonymous said...

:) Long time coming.. Loved the warning.

TGH said...

Thanks, Sharjah!

Thinking said...

hmm...thats why I never watch the video of these classic songs...most of them just dont do the justice to the singer's expression in the song...

Anyways...its funny the way you put the whole song...

Good Work....hmm....

TGH said...

Dear (hmmm...) 'thinking' Information Officer, welcome to my blog. So what are your favourite lines in this parody? :)

Thinking said...

hmm...seems like you read the whole medical dictionary before making this parody...so pardon me for not picking up any particular phrases as I am not(empathise) not witty as you are....

The whole effect though was funny...

Thanks for visiting me too..and keep writing.

I am honored..hmm....

TGH said...

The public is wonderfully tolerant. It forgives everything except genius. --Oscar Wilde

So there, be wild on my blog!

PS: Thanks for joining.

Anonymous said...

you write well! ahhhhh and why i alws end up agreeing with oscar wild" everything evrhting except genius"...

TGH said...

One must have an imperfectly good reason to disagree with genius. --tgh

sumeraamir said...

You are just too Good in parodies Tahir.....I am really laughing.....:)))

TGH said...

Good, SA! That's the (w)hole idea behind all this!