Saturday 24 November 2012

Once Upon A Hangman

I have not yet met a mother who would want her son to become a promising hangman although hangings prevent bad marriages by transporting men from the promised rose-garden of ‘till death do us part’, without a decent stopover, straight to the ‘valley of the shadow of death’.


Think of any Pakistani film and recall how stereotypical hysterical tear-jerking mothers always wish their over-grown sons would become either doctors to serve sorrowful humanity (dukhi insaniyat ki khidmat) or a high ranking official (bohat bara afsar); there never was a middle ground. Even with sixty-five years of Pakistani freedom, such wishes did not and will not change in our rural areas although urban mothers have switched to wanting the apples of their eyes to ripen as foreign bankers or as IT experts punching away at computer keyboards.

Bright future in a dark continent

During school days, whenever excessive monsoon rains caused flooding in East Pakistan (now Bangladesh), the West Pakistanis ended up paying Flood Relief Tax on film tickets. Swaziland was recently flooded but with applications for the sensitive post of a hangman.

Many years ago, their veteran executioner left for the heavenly hanging gardens, leaving his shoes quite empty. A Swaziland official admitted, “Eight prisoners on death row await the hangman. We have not found someone who has what it takes.”

Indeed, the long wait for death is worse than death itself. The Swaziland officials require that the executioner be ‘classically trained and very courageous’. Courageous I can understand, but classically trained to admire Plato, Bach, Dante, or Leonardo Da Vinci? Their minister also claimed to have ‘all the required equipment for executions that must start immediately’ without realizing that all the precious equipment one requires is a rope, a sandbag, and a bottomless pit for putting disturbed men to eternal sleep.

In Robert Mugabe’s Zimbabwe some men await to be executed since many years. While the hunt for a decent hangman is on despite a 94% unemployment rate in the country, the fifty condemned men treat the hangman’s long absence as a favour from God.

“It appears the toughest part of the job is not about ropes and levers. It is about conscience. A hangman should never have second thoughts; if he does he should be retired”, claims a jail official.

There is no hope of seeing their last executioner emerge out of retirement to report on duty. The official complains, “He was a reluctant hangman, always extremely remorseful about his job.”

Death by any other name would smell rotten

One need not bring hi-tech to a job that has essentially remained low-tech throughout history. Although the world is grateful to the French for their toasts and fries but their deadly French guillotine will not gladden any heart. Advanced death technology really does belong to the west—may God have mercy on America for her penchant for electric chairs, gas chambers and lethal injections. With that nation so in love with ordering food ‘to go’, one can imagine their executioners enquiring, “Hey buddy, what’s it gonna be? Today's special injection is lethal, with onion and double cheese.”

Our Godless ‘friend’ China places thousands before the firing squad each year; the criminals’ body organs are then made available to those who can afford transplants in this billion-dollar industry Pakistan does not require lethal injections for condemned prisoners because we already have free ‘recommended’ Polio shots. In any case, the use of lethal injections here will create more problems than it would solve. With an increasing number of men in white coats all over Pakistan injecting wrong medicines into patients, the practise of malpractice will suffer a major setback. And how, when genuine essential drugs are hard to find, will our prison officials be able to procure genuine lethal injections? And even if we were to allow death by lethal injection, the reduced potency of adulterated injections will bring to life apparently dead prisoners during burials. The list of such nightmares is endless.

Pakistan has been fooled into becoming the ‘frontline state in the global war against [t]errorism’ but we cannot be fooled some more into accepting American hi-tech innovations in the field of death, considering we already have their drones and Black Water agents busy despatching civilians into al-CIAda hell. We, in the developing Third World, will do just fine with hemp ropes as our hangmen can easily devise even cheaper extermination techniques given half the chance, a shoe-string budget and official patronage.
The Indian poor sell kidneys

The Breakneck Clan

Before we delve into the darkness, meet Tara Masih, the Pakistani head-banger who obeyed miscarriage of justice brought about by military usurper General Zia-ul-Haq of Black September fame and who obeyed his handlers in tightening the noose around the neck of an elected Prime Minister. Allegedly all Zulfiqar Ali Bhutto wished to do was to set up a factory for manufacturing shoelaces made out of the moustaches of conspirators in uniforms.

After Tara Masih, his brother-in-law Lal Masih stepped into the shoes but retired in December 2010. He hung 750 convicts in 27 years, sometimes as many as five a day. He remains grateful for being able to sight-see ‘the land of the pure’ and having done his ‘duty’ all over Pakistan. Lal admits he was timid only at the first hanging but later became as confident as—halleluiah—the bankers and the doctors. Blessed with a great sense of humour, Lal still lives a life of a dedicated family man.

Sabir Masih, whose grandfather’s brother was also Tara Masih, has executed over 200 people in three years. Thanks to President Zardari who stayed all hangings in November 2008, Sabir is now idle although 7,000 prisoners are still on death row. He earns Rs 10,000 per month but his wage for each hanging needs to be urgently revised. Sabir admires military dictator Pervez Musharraf because many heads rolled during the khaki era.

No matter how much hue and cry is raised by the NGOs and world governments for the abolishment of punishments prescribe by God, twenty-seven offences punishable by death still guarantee employment to Christian hangmen in the Islamic Republic. If man-made laws are made to override Divine Laws, the world will be in more chaos.

Another famous son from the same Christian family is Khyber Pakhtunkhwa province’s Sadiq Masih (junior) trained by a Lahore Kot Lakpat Jail’s Sadiq Masih (senior). The latter resisted hanging Zulfiqar Ali Bhutto on 4 April 1979 but then his uncle Tara Masih was brought from Bahawlphur in a C-130 Hercules to do the job. During the British Raj days, Tara Masih’s elder brother hung a famous freedom fighter Bhagat Singh in 1931 at Lahore Central Prison.

A Divine final notice was served to General Zia-ul-Haq and his khaki entourage at Bahawalpur on 17 August 1988; the lot perished in a C-130 Hercules airplane made-to-order crash. Also worth noting is the tale narrated by lucky General Mirza Aslam Beg, who theorizes that it was Air Chief Marshall (retired) Asghar Khan who got us in an unholy mess by sabotaging democracy, encouraging imposition of martial law through General Zia-ul-Haq, and his insistence that ‘Bhutto be hanged as soon as possible or ‘be allowed to be handed over to him to be hanged’. And on 25 June 2002, during the military dictator Pervez Musharraf’s era, Asghar Khan’s own federal minister son, Omar Asghar Khan was found hanging from a ceiling fan at home.

[Si]Tara-e-Jurrat (Star of Bravery)

Some feel, the soul-extracting Tara never received the recognition he deserved. So many Pakistan Days came and went but never was a medal (Tamgha) bestowed upon Tara by the guardians of totality. Alas, such is the treatment we mete out to industrious men that not even a children's park or a street has been named after Tara. If this were America, they would have raised a bronze statue or built a Tara Museum of Death. Imagine the business prospects of merchandising children’s T-shirts with ’I love hanging around’ emblazoned across, porcelain mugs with ’Hang them high, Tara’ or ‘Tara, you are drop-dead gorgeous’ painted on, and Tara horror masks to honour the man. But then this is not America

If famous hangman, Tara Masih, were alive today he would insist on being a cash customer and would, out of disgust for credit cards, turn the American Express’ slogan into: Don't leave Earth without it—our special privilege card for a dying clientele. Tara, if he were an electric expert, would say to condemned plunderers heading for the chair, “You’re now a chairman!”, or cry to the gas chamber guests, “It's such a gas, baby!”

And if the truth neither has set you free nor cheered you up, think of our neck-breaker’s unique birthday party where talking heads may chant:

May you have many more, may you have many more
Many hangings dear hangman Happy hangings for you!

Or:

For he's got jolly good gallows, he's got jolly good gallows
He's got jolly good gallowwwws . . . which nobody can defy.


America succeeded in putting a man on the moon; our government has failed to depute a goon to Africa. These are times of need; Africa badly needs hangmen and Pakistan more foreign exchange remittances. Who knows, a man like Tara might rid us of all foreign debt and single-handedly take care of Africa’s death-row inmates? The seriousness of the matter can be gauged from the fact that African governments are unable to select the right person for the job. Foreigners from as far away as Canada, Britain and Japan have applied for the positions while local talent appears to be non-existent.

Sadly, only men may become members of this elitist gender-biased group; the Hangers’ Club is not about providing equal opportunity to all. Thank heavens this is one right which the testosterone-injected feminists will never wrestle out of men’s hand.
 The hanging of two participants in the Indian 'Rebellion' (1857)

Minimum qualifications

You would be lying to yourself if you have never considered hanging a vicious boss, never wished those ahead of you in office dead, or never fancied anything gruesome in life. Because deep down most of us are natural-born thrillers, let us now closely inspect an exterminator’s life.

First, say aloud the word HANGMAN to feel how it sounds. Agreed, for polished office-going executives the designation may not sound just right but then adding IVE to execute gives us: Execute-IVE. Now say this new word aloud. Does it not have the potential of sounding respectable in high society which regards executioners as men who do an immense favour to the increasing population? Remember, to get this job family connections are important; it is the same key that unlocks for unqualified people sensitive offices in the country. One need not be an MBA or something equally useless. This job is simplicity itself and which requires no money in the pocket, zilch foreign training, not even a fake educational degree, all it begs for is sheer guts to turn criminals’ heads around.

With the basic qualifications taken care of, let us now focus on the perks of a hangman, such as: the ability to intimidate foes, the power to scare nappies off grown men, and to get away with murder in broad daylight. It is really quite similar to being in a position of great influence such as leading a violent sectarian religious or a political party. A hangman's job has no defined limits, the potential bottomless, and it comes with a carrot marked ‘someone must do it and that someone just might be you’.

Your cup of tea?

A hangman, instead of starting his day like a regular office-going married man, will always miss his morning cup of tea to dash to work. He gets up early not because he likes to but because the system wants him to. He has no time to brush his teeth like an obedient schoolboy or kiss his children off to school. Agreed, rising early does benefit one’s health but it means nothing to a condemned person who knows necks normally break before the break of dawn.

A hangman wears no uniform but before proceeding to knock the living daylights out of a doomed person, he dons a conical hood a ‘la Ku Klux Klan member. And like someone who must hide from creditors, he hates being recognised. But there is truly something in the way he moves. Upon arrival at the gallows, he checks the knot—if the rope fails, all hell breaks loose too. He calculates the ‘drop’ according the condemned person’s weight—too little travel and the neck will not snap, too much of it and the neck might sever off the body. A lean person gets more air travel through the trap door while a heavier much less; there is no such thing as a frequent flyer programme in this business.

Next, he firmly covers the sinful head with a black hood, tightens the knot, and then whispers into the convict’s ear, “I have nothing to do with your death; I’m only performing my duty”.

Wages of sin is death and the hangman never really knows about the client’s guilt or innocence but that does not mean he will never feel the pricks of conscience at some point in his life. Finally, when the jail official’s hand moves, the hangman dutifully pulls the lever. There are times when, due to some snag, he is asked to go under the trap door and physically pull the feet of the half-dead in order to ensure death. Under normal circumstances, the body is left hanging for at least thirty minutes or until it begins to turn blackish. And once the doctor pronounces the convict dead, the terminator pulls him down and heads home; the officials also go about their daily business as if nothing has ever happened. While stage artists frequently receive standing ovations or cries of encore, a hangman’s performance never elicits anything of the kind from the dead. To the dead we owe only truth, to the living a politician’s lies.

For those who prefer work that produces no perspiration, rest assured the labour of a pedigree hangman is environmentally clean. There is no illegal gratification involved, no late office hours and no pending files in this return-to-Sender business. One gets a fully automated office; all the manual labour is done by a pair of kicking legs and the force of gravity. After an execution a hangman sleeps like a baby for the rest of the day, his conscience clean as a whistle. Because hangings are seldom an everyday affair, the State cares for the hangman by having him devote whole weeks, if not months, to his family. While most men spend their entire lives toiling away at their desks, our man is truly a free bird, aware of death and oblivious of taxes. Once home, his wife, instead of hurtling breakneck accusations of infidelity, never fails to ask politely, “Where've you been hanging out?”

Indeed the State always encourages such men to live happily ever after by allowing them to be all they can be. Always in good spirits and in perfect health, a hanging a day keeps a hangman’s doctor at bay. The police do not hurt him, and he never dies in a broad daylight fake shoot-out staged in the middle of his own city. Our man is a step above Superman with the angel of death, if not God, on his side. Two steps short of being a judge, jury and hangman all rolled into one, he is a model law-abiding citizen who respects the courts’ decisions and hence never receives contempt notices. As Alexander Pope wrote:

The hungry judges soon the sentence sign
Wretches hang that jury-men may dine.

Death and taxes

Hanging is better for a reason, the electric chair method the worst. Our waterless powerless WAPDA (Water and Power Development Authority) will not last a single lunar day if, Watt forbid, we were to start utilizing electric power for condemned prisoners. Imagine unannounced load shedding occurring in the middle of an execution ceremony with a half-roasted prisoner screaming for pain relieving Volts.

But why waste so many Amperes electrocuting criminals when queuing in the sun for long hours to pay inflated utility bills in Pakistan will do a better job at population reduction? Tax, surcharge, additional surcharge, Neelam-Jehlum surcharge, PTV fee, all being state-sponsored terrorist acts that go unpunished every month. Now only if people were given gallantry medals or pieces of real estate, nobody would mind embracing martyrdom fighting unholy utility bills sent by unbelievers.

If you are a jobless man about to become a militant extremist, abandon bombs and suicide jackets, get a work permit and settle down in Swaziland or Zimbabwe as a hangman; the supply of fresh necks will not last forever. The job and its privileges are all yours for the asking locally too if you would care to apply in person at the nearest central prison.

Never contemplate committing suicide because it can permanently harm one’s health, dream about the profession of putting ropes around the scum da la scum of the cream of society. It is true, many apparently decent men we see today occupying high places strangled kittens when they were young; now they strangle with loud desk thumps the economy, humanity, utilities, religion, public opinion and whatever is left in life to silently weep over.

©Tahir Gul Hasan, 2012

References and acknowledgments
I finished writing this original article on 19 October 1998, but now have almost entirely re-written it. I thank the dead and the living for the hair-raising inspiration.
It is not known where Felice Beato took this picture in 1858: The hanging of two participants in the Indian Rebellion of 1857
BBC News (11 October 1998) ‘Hangman wanted, no experience required’
The Guardian (13 April 2010) ‘Hangman for Zimbabwe prison’
Pakistan Today (5 January 2011) ‘Confessions of an executioner’
English hangmen 1850 to 1964

Monday 29 October 2012

Malala Yousaf Zai: Attack Of The Babbling Tongues (part-II)

I would like to thank the readers for making Part-I of this article #1 on Google search engine. How the mainstream media reacts to my words is of no consequence because, unlike me, they have government advertisements, sales figures and their perks to worry about.

While Malala created a big bang on 9 October 2012, another one occurred in America: Chowk crashed.

In the beginning

Much before Facebook came into this world, ex-pats from Pakistan and India created a social networking site in 1997: Chowk. It was at this website where I spent many years understanding its propaganda and then countering the insults hurled against Pakistan and Islam. Please read About to fully understand the case, then scroll to the bottom of the page for a list of protest blogs I posted on Chowk.

I stopped contributing to Chowk in 2009 to create Writers' Block where I archived everything because I knew Chowk would at some point erase all my work exactly the manner in which Big Brother did in George Orwell’s classic novel Nineteen Eighty-Four. Chowk did not harm me in the anticipated way but I saw that happen to another writer who called their attack dogs ‘peons of the west’.

Chowk stored data and sold it to those who profiled outspoken people in order to silence them. Now ‘Big Brother’ Facebook watches and stores everything; its operators know what the masses talk about. The information that the agencies once spent billions of Dollars on to collect is now voluntarily handed over for free by one billion Facebook users. Welcome to the intelligence of the Information Superhighway which is jam-packed with dumb users holding smart phones.

Chowk was the real loser in the battle of haqq (truth) and sabr (patience). What turned off its audience? Why, the warped brains of its creators and those they paid to generate clicks and fling obscenities at my articles and comments. From a record 1.1 million hits per month, Chowk’s traffic fell to 93,000 hits in 2009, then to 47,000 in 2010, to 21,000 in 2011 and finally entered cyber hell on 8 October 2012.

Malaal

In Urdu language, Malaal means regret or sadness (Malala: grief-stricken), as in intiqaal-e-pur-malaal (transition to a death full of grief). At this moment the entire Pakistani nation is mourning for a ‘poor seventh grade girl student shot in the head by the Taliban because she wanted education for the girls’. That is a grand lie designed for headless chickens and despite the insertion of yet another false memory in our collective consciousness, people are desperate to see the obverse side of this coin.

Malala Yousaf Zai is the daughter of Ziaud Din Yousuf Zay, an educator with fourteen years of teaching experience. She was shot and injured after being thrice dissuaded from giving provocative anti-Taliban pro-Obama statements. What or who convinced the girl and her father to carry on doing what they did? And not too far behind Malala Yousuf Zai is Malalai Joya (member national assembly, Afghanistan, 2005-2007) who was labelled ‘infidel’ and ‘communist’, survived four assassination attempts, and travelled in Afghanistan under a burqa and with armed guards. She was finally hounded out of her country.

The tribes of Swat and the Queen

“The Yousafzai have a history of feuding with the Mohmand tribe primarily over land rights. The Yousafzai population was estimated at 500,000 in 1965. They have special recognition for two of their tribal leaders: Wali of Swat and the Mir of Dir. These are ancestors of Yousafzai tribesman who led the tribe when it first conquered the area in which it currently resides and owned irrigated lands and cultivated cash crops by the early 20th century. The Yousafzai are divided into two sections, the Mandar and the Yousaf which act as separate tribes and have divided Swat and Mardan between them.”
–Naval Postgraduate School, Programme for Culture & Conflict Studies

“Memoirs by two Political Officers Mr McMahon Political agent and Mr Ramsey Assistant Political agent say that the British had underestimated these people. Mr Winston Churchill the one time Prime Minister was a Lieutenant and Military correspondent then. A picket on a hilltop by the riverside is named after him. The present British Queen Elisabeth during her visit to Swat in 1961 on the invitation of the then President Ayub Khan visited Chakdara and the Churchill Picket and sent a message from there to Mr Churchill.”

In England, the technique to attract tourists to Godforsaken locations was to place plaques with ‘Queen Elizabeth slept here’ inscribed on them. In our case, Her Majesty was able to do it herself in Swat for it soon became a favourite tourist destination. Why could Swatis not emulate those who opposed the British occupation? The British underestimated the tribal people during the Raj days and now the Americans continue to follow in their footsteps; the more things change the more they remain the same. In his poem, ‘The Young British Soldier’, Rudyard Kipling (a Freemason, and assistant editor of the Civil & Military Gazette of Lahore) summed up what the British faced in Afghanistan:

When you're wounded and left on Afghanistan's plains,
And the women come out to cut up what remains,
Jest roll to your rifle and blow out your brains
An' go to your Gawd like a soldier
Go, go, go like a soldier.

Adding injury to the insult

Interestingly, Che Guevara, who came to Pakistan and met with military dictator Ayub Khan in 1959, was executed by Bolivian security forces on October 9, 1967. Malala was shot in the head and the neck—or so they say—on 9 October, while two other girls were injured as they headed for school on the morning of 9 October 2012.

A military official said:

“A single bullet had gone through Malala's temple and hit her shoulder and brushed her brain; she is in a semi-conscious state and is being kept under observation because her condition is critical.”

Whether it’s the floods, earthquakes, or some anti-militants operation somewhere, the military’s damage control efforts are always meticulous. But with serious bullet injuries, brain oedema, and spine related problems, Malala not only got well within a fortnight, she begged for school textbooks in the hospital. The girl deserves to remain in Oxford forever.

Not to be outgunned in charitable works, our Houbara bustard hunting ‘brothers’ from the United Arab Emirates placed at Malala’s disposal a jet with a full medical team aboard. Pakistan's eyes in the Emirates, ambassador Jamil Ahmed Khan, witnessed the airplane spend several hours in Abu Dhabi before flying off to the UK with ‘a seriously injured girl aboard’. Why this delay? Did they announce a shopping break or a visit to Burj Dubai?

It was initially announced that the ‘cost of her care and rehabilitation will be borne by Pakistan’ and which later changed when BBC announced that ‘the Birmingham hospital where 14-year-old Pakistan schoolgirl Malala Yousafzai is being treated has set up a fund for charitable donations for her’. Yet another version claimed that ‘the UAE government intended to take care of all expenses’. Last but not least, the penny wise Pakistani ex-pats in Britain also wished to collect funds for Malala


Thousands of children have been killed by the allied forces in so many Muslim lands but why does only Malala’s voice resonate more than anybody else’s? Who will hear the cries of those who are drone-bombed out of existence while running away from or fighting allied aggression? And where are the other two injured girlfriends of Malala? And why are there no eyewitness videos of the shooting on the internet? As part of the damage control, all video clips that witnesses had in their mobile phones were confiscated and destroyed by the federal agencies; nobody saw a jet airliner ever hit the Pentagon building on 9/11. Was the same mop up ordered on 9 October 2012 in Pakistan, is this why one more reason why YouTube remains blocked in Pakistan?
Famous tongues that wagged

Those who shed political tears for Malala are Laura Bush (wife of George ‘war criminal’ Bush), Hillary Clinton (the ‘other woman’ for Monica Lewinsky), and Christiane Muhammad Amanpour of CNN (married to Jewish James P. Rubin, former Assistant Secretary of State and spokesman for the US State Department for Bill Clinton, and currently an informal adviser to Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and President Barack Obama).

Lesbian singer Madonna had her Malala moment by admitting during a pop concert, “I could cry for Malala”, and then proceeded to bare her body. Madonna has nothing in common with Malala unless both work for organizations that seek to destroy revealed religions and replace it with a New Age swindle. How could a Kabbalah-loving Satanist cry for a Muslim girl when the former is known to strip for causes? Madonna took off her clothes in Los Angeles to show MALALA written on her back and shouted, “Support education; support the people who support education”.

Such antics set a bad example for good women because already the Ukrainian women’s group, Femen, is infamous for topless protests. Read my article Being Economically Dressed In Ukraine and see how the Femen ladies dress for protests

I fear the female sinners in the Red Districts of the Land of the Pure will soon announce that they too support Malala with their late night human relations therapy sessions. In a tweet posted on 13 October 2012, Pakistani journalist Aisha Fayyazi Sarwari speaks highly of Madonna’s naked aggression:
“Madonna honoured Malala in the way she knew best. Lets appreciate that and not get caught up with trivialities. Thank you #Madonna”.

Once the topless ones were done, our top brass swung into verbal action at the GHQ, and General Kiyani later conveyed to Malala’s family:

“The resolve to fight the menace of terrorism will be kindred and Armed Forces of Pakistan are ready to render any sacrifice therein”.

The government servants, the civil society, the NGOs, the clerics, every one jumped on the condemnation bandwagon without dissecting the shooting incident. The world’s sobbing governments and the Pakistani ex-pats offered all possible financial help for Malala’s treatment abroad. Immediately, everything else was put on hold and the emotional public forgot all about electricity’s skyrocketing tariffs and the looming gas load-shedding announced for winter. The pandemonium benefitted only one group: the NGOs that advocated children’s rights.

Soon afterwards, candle vigils for Malala were held, which is a pagan practise adopted by the Christians and emulated by the Muslims. So in awe of heathen practises are the Muslim masses these days they grossly underestimate the simplicity of Islam and the power of sincere prayers. The newspapers published pictures of children as young as three praying for Malala with hands raised. On 9 October, Pakistan became Malalistan because the darned diaries penned by the al-CIAda had arrived from planet Washingtron. Read my article Al-Qaeda: What Is It, Where Is It? (Part-I)

BBC and the NGOs
There might be a reason why the BBC prefers children to sponsoring fully grown men who write strange articles. The BBC allowed Jimmy Savile, once one of Britain's top TV presenters, to prey on young girls for years.
Malala has acknowledged that it was the BBC that contacted her father and asked for an English teacher or a senior girl able to give them an interview in English; Malala was neither. She has also admitted calling BBC Urdu service, narrating her stories and letting them translate it into English, which proves me correct in part-I of this article. How was she able to make long phone calls to BBC (London or elsewhere) when in a documentary her father was shown asking parents for schools fees which many of them had stopped paying? Perhaps economic hardship drove them to exchange poverty for fame and fortune.

As Malala proposes strategies to the students of Karachi wearing high-heeled shoes and the head partially covered, watch her injected confidence and clarity of dictated purpose in this video. While in an earlier interview she claimed, “I want to become a doctor but my father says you must become a politician”, she admits here she wishes to create Malala Education Foundation (funded by the troika of IWPR-OpenMinds-ChildRights).

In yet another video she wants to ‘become a lawyer’ and like a good anglophile, wishes to see lots of ‘goras (white foreigners) shopping in Swat’

She calls her brothers ‘buddhu' (unwise fools) who are 'badshahs' (kings) unwilling to understand anything’. If we are expected to worship the girl’s infinite wisdom, we may as well get rid of all the parliamentarians, rename the ruling party Pakistan Children’s Party and announce a government of the children.

Malala opposes ‘child marriage’ of girls aged sixteen or thereabouts. But what is better: pregnancies out of wedlock and teenage abortions in America or legal marriages in Pakistan at age sixteen or above? With Malala now in British custody, let us hope she exposes those who brain-washed her to become a child recruiter and a future handler, and exposes the persons who prompted her to give long interviews on popular TV talk-shows.

The truth of the matter is she is a confused girl with many voices in her head broadcasting away on shortwave frequencies much like—you guessed it—the BBC.

In the pipeline

The government cannot run itself, the poor cannot even feed themselves but the NGOs want all the poor children off work and enrolled as students to become better taxpayers. British writer Charles Dickens sympathized with the plight of the children and wrote extensively about the little heroes. Do recall that through oppression and enslavement the Crown ensured that the sun never set in the empire but it forgot one thing: the sun belongs to God Almighty. Hence, Malala’s stance against child labour is laughable because the British economy boomed in the 19th century when their foundries prospered employing child labourers who worked in appalling conditions.

Pakistani factories that manufacture surgical instruments, hand-woven carpets, leather products, cotton products, all are in shambles because the expensive international certifications and international labour laws hurt our growing economy. Add to this the ‘sustainable development’ and the ‘global warming’ swindles designed to starve nations and to squeeze carbon emission tax from economies that have already overtaken American and are destined to outperform European ones in the near future. Welcome to global taxation imposed by global organizations set up to establish a NWO global government.

How was an eleven years old girl recognized as the ‘expected Messiah’ by the BBC correspondents, and who convinced her to write against the Taliban while they whipped or decapitated alleged spies? In her diary, there are only soft protestations against the army operation which displaced three million people from Swat. It is true, the government failed us all. It allowed the FM radio transmissions to continue spurting extremist propaganda of the invisible revolutionary mullas, watched the minorities lose their businesses, and created conditions that drove people to become displaced persons in their own country. But instead of organizing an all-girls march to Islamabad, Malala broadcast her complaints through a foreign mass hypnosis machine called the BBC.

Malala is over fourteen now and being ‘cared for’ on a tiny island called United Kingdom whose king is a queen of German descent (Saxe-Coburg and Gotha renamed ‘Windsor’ after an English castle in 1917) and where there is no written constitution. The Taliban left a calling card for Malala (“We’ll be back”), much like Arnold Schwarzenegger did in the film Terminator. The Taliban still maintain that ‘if Malala survives, her mission will be brought to an end’.

The Omen series of movies at once come to mind in which an offspring of the devil is planted in a US diplomat’s home. When his true identity is exposed, numerous assassination attempts are made by his near and dear ones but the boy not only survives but manages to kill them all through his demonic accomplices, then grows up to become a charming man, and finally powerful enough to advise the President of America on sensitive political matters.

Is Malala in our political pipeline? Will brother-in-law Ben Rothschild (married to Kate Emma Rothschild, daughter of Amschel Rothschild) sponsor Imran Kahn’s sons (from a Jewish mother)? Will the children loaned to the broken Jewish home of Sir James Goldsmith become our future leaders or replace the Bhutto dynasty in Pakistan? Understand that the global mass media and entertainment empires were built and are now owned by people who are not anybody’s friends except of those from a race that claims it has been ‘chosen by God to rule over the gentiles forever’. God is not racist but men are.

Malala, a bright child, was hand-picked by the other side, trained and groomed by affluent local and foreign agents of influence, and then thrust on the international stage. She is wasting everybody’s time and energy but I pray she lives to read these lines because only the truth will prevail. Allah guarantees in the Qur’an (21:18):

"Nay, but [by the very act of creation] We hurl the truth against falsehood, and it crushes the latter: and lo! it withers away."

What was so special about Malala that she was given VIP protocol by all concerned governments? Of course, they care for their ‘assets’ who conveniently live in England. And since the rest of us here are not assets or sleeper cells, we have no right to ask for the kind of privileges showered on Malala. Will she set a precedent for the teeming masses to clamour for their wounded children to be flown abroad for medical treatment at state expense?

People everywhere are now tired of this flavour-of-the-week shooting and want more urgent issues resolved first. Smokescreens are always good for the government and the government is no good, it never was and it never will be if re-elected. How is it that people cannot find the answer to a simple question: what must we do? For starters, to have the energy to think clearly and do something of lasting value for the future generations, we need to put away the worthless newspapers and unplug our giant flat-screen television sets.

This issue at hand is not a pill that can be sugar-coated. I invite you to this space for the upcoming Part-III of the article.

©Tahir Gul Hasan, 2012

VERY IMPORTANT
Sadly, on 19 May 2023--almost twelve years AFTER the article was published--GOOGLE 'unpublished' the third article in the series because it supposedly 'violation of their community guidelines'. You may now happily read this article by clicking the following link:


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References and acknowledgements

Malala Yousuf Zai: Genius Or Mouth-Piece (Part-I)
Lists 1 and 2 of NGOs operating in Pakistan
For photos copied from various sources, I thank the original photographers.
Rahman Malik has blocked YouTube in Pakistan; he needs more make-up.
Throughout my articles, I have used Dr Muhammad Asad’s brilliant translation: The Message of the Qur’an
MNA Mussarat Ahmadzeb alleges attack on Malala was 'scripted'

Saturday 20 October 2012

Malala Yousuf Zai: Genius Or Mouth-Piece (part-I)

After having re-invented the wheel and sliced white bread, the entire mainstream media is forcefully letting out a weak stream of the official discharge into the urinal of our national consciousness. There are no alternative views, no probing questions, only emotional appeals and instant water for our eyes. And everyone I know is tired of the advertised-to-death Malala case and questions the veracity of the entire story.

Remember the doctored pictures of Osama Bin Laden assassination? After all, Dr. Afridi was involved in peddling disease-laden Polio vaccines in Abbotabad. An American stealth chopper shown crashed in the imagined safe-house in Abbotabad, a building showing no signs of an armed struggle, and a side shot of a local Osama look-alike watching TV just as any ‘most wanted terrorist’ would at home; this was the best half-Muslim Obama’s entire state machinery could do for heroic ex-CIA Osama who was disposed of without any Muslim funeral rites in a sea whose name is yet to be invented.


Much like the killers of President John Fitzgerald Kennedy created the single magic-bullet theory, we saw how hastily officials attributed Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto’s death to the magic lever of her jeep. The cover-ups are always elaborate and devious. Now we have the same cast of characters—invading Americans, invaded defenders and degraded politicians—presenting one more soap opera on the national stage. This nation is tired of the drones manufactured by the ‘best friend’ of our ‘friend’ which antagonise the population of carefully selected mineral-rich strategically-important areas. Oil and minerals, what else has it been throughout history?


Anyone for BBC-created diaries?


Supress your emotions while you read the nuggets selected from the BBC Urdu Online diary of Malala Yousuf Zai disguised as Gul Makai. The pages from this diary reflect many emotions and also provide insights into events that only expert-level commentators are fit to comment upon.


Children these days hardly get time off studies and tuitions, none I know spend precious time penning thoughts in a real dairy because now the youth have Mark Zuckerberg’s invention, Facebook, which was much appreciated by the CIA. They voluntarily report everything to this thing every day and spend whatever free time is left ogling at the spying cell phones.


Did Malala really write what they claim she wrote or was it as fictitious as the Anne Frank diaries written by her father, Otto frank, after WW-II to sell to the world sympathy for Hitler’s holocaust victims who happened to be only Jews? Can we actually see the original Malala diaries written in Urdu or they too will be reverse-engineered, frequently changed and printed posthumously for all to weep over? In any case, her English translations are just too British, occasionally they sound as if another less talented translator was at work. One must admit, for a Pashtu-speaking child, her spoken Urdu is quite good.


What is truly surprising is how Malala discusses persons and politics, and analyses events which is a rare quality in most grownups, leave alone amongst girls of her age. Very young girls just do not talk this way unless they have been coached from a very young age using special training aids.


Two writes can make one wrong


Here are some revelations from her diary spread over six BBC web pages:


“I have come to Bunair to spend Muharram (a Muslim holiday) on vacation.”


The Yousaf Zai tribe is predominantly composed of Sunni Muslims. And Muharram is the first month of the Islamic calendar, not a single holiday. The 9th and the 10th of Muharram are two gazetted national holidays. Malala is unclear, while the parenthesis placed by the translator lack proper research. We hope they both do better than this next time.


“[The Taliban] blow up those schools which are used by the security forces as security posts”.

 
How does she know about ‘those schools’? Did someone show her a compiled list? Did she go on a guided tour of Swat?

“I have seen wherever the army is there is usually a Taleban member nearby, but where there is a Taleban member the army will always not go.”


Can a child this young recognise nearby Talibans? Did she alert the army personnel whenever she saw the Taliban loitering around?

Her friend claims, “It may be that the Taleban destroyed the schools in anger [at the killing of Maulana Shah Dauran’s uncle]. No one has made the Taleban suffer but when they are hurt they take it out on our schools.”


“The army is also responsible for the disruption in our education. They are sitting in their bunkers on top of the hills. They slaughter goats and eat with pleasure.”



Again, this is amazingly speculative commentary on important events.The army she blames wholeheartedly. How could she see what happened atop the hills unless she went sight-seeing with a connected uncle?

“One day toffees were thrown from the helicopters and this continued for some time. Now whenever we hear the choppers flying we run out and wait for the toffees but it does not happen anymore.”


Recall that the Americans dropped bombs disguised as toys in Afghanistan and which when picked up by the children, maimed or killed them. How is Malala able to accuse the army of spending our tax money on confectionaries? Is she talking about Pakistan’s army or the American one?

“It seems that it is only when dozens of schools have been destroyed and hundreds others closed down that the army thinks about protecting them. Had they conducted their operations here properly, this situation would not have arisen.”


How can she assess how properly or improperly the army did its job unless she was in the company of critical tongues?

“Muslim Khan (a Swat Taleban spokesman) has said that those schools housing the army would be attacked. We will be more afraid of having the army in our schools than ever.”


She clearly wants the army out of Swat which the Americans would never want since they want our army to do their dirty laundry in Pakistan’s backyard.

“I switched the channel and a woman was saying ‘we will avenge the murder of Benazir Bhutto’. I asked my father who would avenge the deaths of hundreds of people of Swat.”


What a wonderful question that must make the hearts of Benazir’s murderers and the killers of Pakistani citizens pound faster!

“My father prepared breakfast today because my mum is not feeling well. Here women have to wear a veil - called a shuttle veil - whenever they leave their homes. My mother also wore one but I refused to wear one on the grounds that I found it difficult to walk with it on.”


Clearly, Malala seems like an obstinate child who disregards danger. In The New York Times documentary she is shown walking to the school with a blue rucksack and shown entering with a black one? What wonderful editing done in New Amsterdam (later renamed New York) by the creators of 9/11 who proved their city exceled at poor editing!


Malala refers to her mother as ‘mum’ which is being totally British. The translator does not use the Urdu words ammi or amma that Pakistanis use when addressing their mothers. She later switches to ‘mom’ which shows that more than one confused person translated or created the bogus text.


“One of my brothers told my father he wanted to make an atomic bomb.”


Now this is the mother of all giveaways, and exactly what the nuclear-capable six-pointed Star of David wants: disarmament of Pakistan’s nuclear arsenal by creating global panic. Thanks God, Albert Einstein and Julius Robert Oppenheimer were not Muslim nuclear scientists, and down with Satan whose legions of demons rule over Hollywood unveiling future plans for the world and propaganda disguised as entertainment. The American raiders of the lost spark have always insisted that Pakistani weapons of crass destruction ‘could fall into the hands of al-Qaeda’—as if our bombs were hand-grenades ready for immediate use launch from camel-backs.

“People believe more in what the militants say rather than the government.”


She has lost her innocence and playfulness by growing up very soon. The military, the government and her agencies need to find out what she means by this observation. If the public rejects official truths, something must be seriously wrong with the public. Sheikh Rasheed’s days as political soothsayer are over. Roll over Beethoven and tell Tschaikowsky the news; Malala can outdo anybody in news analysis and political commentary.

“I went to lie down with my father but then went to my mother, but could not sleep.”


Muslim boys and girls beyond ten years of age do not lie down with their fathers, as prescribed by a Hadith (saying) attributed to the Messenger of Allah):

Abdullah ibn Amr ibn al-Asr, narrated that the prophet of Allah said, "…and arrange their beds (to sleep) separately." (Abu Dawud)


“Maulana Fazlullah (a pro-Taleban cleric) came on his radio and kept crying for a long time. He was demanding an end to the military operation.”


What one-sided battle was the army fighting in Swat? Had the army wanted to end an operation which displaced three million people, they could have jammed the mullah’s mobile FM station. Who provided the mullah with this undetectable loudspeaker?

“Most suicide attacks take place either on Friday mornings or on Friday evenings. They [Taliban] also say that the reason behind this is because the suicide attacker thinks that Friday has a special importance in Islam and carrying out such attacks on this day will please God more.” 


This is pure non-sense. It is not what the suicide bomber thinks, it is what his handler thinks and brainwashes him with. It is the afternoon prayer that attracts the most Muslims to mosques on Fridays; the rest of the four prayers attract less people.


“The Taleban have lifted restrictions on girls' primary education - therefore they are also attending schools. In our school there is co-education until primary level.”


Throughout her diary, Malala notes the odd ever-changing tactics: imposition of a ban, then its lifting, then a ban, and again its lifting. The Taliban are portrayed as undecided about co-education and girl’s education.


“In my school, only a total of 70 pupils attended out of 700 students who are enrolled.”


Since her father owned the school she went to, she heard all things at the dinner table. It shows she paid attention to the business end of it while being under so much stress.

“People do not leave their homeland on their own free will, only poverty or a lover usually makes you leave so rapidly.”


What an amazing observation? And now that she is abroad under Her Majesty’s wing, she has proved that it was poverty and being in love with her foreign sponsor that made her leave Pakistan. Has she not been awarded profusely by both foreign and local organizations and adored freely by strangers?


With a shameless smile on his face, ousted Prime Minister Yousaf Raza Gilani remarked when a CNN interviewer alleged that ‘a third of Pakistanis wish to leave their country’, “And why don’t they leave then; who is stopping them?”


But on 19 June 2012, God’s Justice prevailed and ‘Useless Razor’ Gilani, through a landmark Supreme Court judgement was stripped of his post, disqualified and then ousted. He is gone but those he wished harm are still here, and this is precisely the point: the system discourages people who wish to make a positive change and shows them the yellow brick road of foreign shores.

Not one Pakistani, who has caused the brain drain and the flight of capital from Pakistan, has ever impressed with his lame excuses for settling abroad. Only self-delusion and a shameless denial of Allah’s gifts bestowed in abundance upon Pakistan can make one a turncoat. As the ‘poet of the East’, Allama Muhammad Iqbal, correctly assessed:

Not hopeless is Iqbal of his barren field

Only some moisture, and this soil is very fertile, O server.

Even apparently sensible middle-class families exceed the desire of the poor when it comes to settling abroad. And young Malala claiming that eloping with lovers is one of our national requirements needs to be totally disregarded by the Taliban but noted with concern seriousness by her father.


“The Taleban say that they use FM radio to propagate teachings of the Koran but commander Khalil after a brief teaching of the Koran subtly switches over to threaten opponents.”


When grownup Muslims are shy of reading a translated Qur’an and cannot differentiate between the shades of Ahadith (sayings attributed to the Messenger of Allah), how can young Malala appreciate the subtleties? How does she know what parts are from the Qur’an and when a switchover to deviant philosophy has taken place?

“Girls called out to the soldiers and they waved back. Soldiers seem to be tired of waving now.”


Is she out on the roof or in the streets with her friends, shouting and waving at helicopters? The soldiers always look stern; how can she tell if they are tired of their institution or the assigned duties? Not imagined ‘tired’ expressions but only bigger boots can evict smaller boots.

“My brother often prays "O God bring peace to Swat and if not then bring either the US or China here.’”


Now this is a mouthful coming from a very young boy! I know a million souls who wish to be taken over by America (just as their ancestors were purchased by the British East India Company’s Red Coats) but to have China in here is being a Communist—something the Taliban have already accused her of being. Why would Malala ask for an American takeover unless she craves for their toys, toffees, awards and that mind-numbing Green Card?

“Today we played a lot in class and enjoyed ourselves like we used to before.”


She appears to think that classrooms are for playing, not for studying.

“There was a time when I used to like wearing the burqa (full-body veil for women) but not anymore.”


Notice how she contradicts her earlier statement of refusing to wear it!

“They (the Taliban) say that they want to take revenge for Jamia Hafsa and the Red Mosque, but we are not the ones responsible for what happened there so why don't they take revenge on people who are responsible?”


Is she advocating that other citizens of Pakistan be killed when, in this fake global war on terror (against Islam and Muslims), everybody knows who the real enemy is?

In conclusion


As is apparent, words have been put into a youth’s mouth. Malala’s inner voice is already strong; she is at risk of being implanted in England with a stronger device in the head. Mind control is big business for those who attempt to play God while truly being minions of the devil. Our girl has already spilled her beans, her diary is surely written by an expert spin-doctor, translated mostly by an educated Urdu Service staff of BBC and frequently ruined by someone who scored all D’s in the GCSE exams.


With the Taliban’s non-lethal gift surgically removed from her head, the brain oedema cured, the ventilator off, our girl appears as if nothing ever happened on 9 October 2012.


There are wheels within wheels. Malala is surely a matryoshka doll with layer upon layer of painted wooden existence. We need to verify the diary’s originality by cross questioning the girl, analysing the handwriting of the source Urdu material through forensics and DNA-testing. If the Chief Justice is not too busy with taking suo moto notices, he may enquire into the case to make the findings public. Besides, what good is a Russian doll if her layers cannot be explored?


Do not forget to comment here on this very important issue, and do come back for a more revealing 
Malala Yousaf Zai: Attack Of The Babbling Tongues (part-II)

©Tahir Gul Hasan, 2012


References and acknowledgements
For photos copied from various sources, I thank the original photographers and news agencies.
This is 2012. Interior Minister, Rahman Malik, has blocked YouTube in Pakistan; he needs more skin-whitening cream to render him 'fair' to the tired public.

Here are the BBC’s Gul Makai blogs that first attracted awards and later bullets for Malala:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/7834402.stm#blq-main
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/7848138.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/7861053.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/7881255.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/7889120.stm?oo=10000906
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/7928752.stm?oo=10000906

Watch Yousuf Raza Gilani make a complete fool of himself on CNN.
Dawn reports Yousuf Raza is sent packing
MNA Mussarat Ahmadzeb alleges attack on Malala was 'scripted'