Saturday, 29 May 2010

Sitting All Day

Abusing someone vocally or in writing is almost as bad as killing someone physically. If the abusers on Chowq were given a chance, they would love to kill those who justifiably oppose their poisoned tongues and pens. The shameless management (unapologetic to the core) of Chowq and its group of 'poor minorities' need to stop using this yubb-site to make Islam look bad.

In condemning state-sponsored terror, I condemn entire governments (both Muslim and Western) and their overt and covert organizations for spreading evil.

And I side with the good, although evil has so much appeal. To expect me to sit all day and condemn this or that means that I must behave like the corrupt politicians who do the same. They dish out money (loans from IMF-WB) to the victims. Is that the solution? No, that is 'shut up-WE-did-it-to-you' blood-money!

I did enquire from several friends (from the minority group) whose members were killed yesterday. May the killers and the killed be judged by God.

The rot is too deep as a dozen agencies out here are serving mankind this poisonous drink of terrorism and security. It is like a bowl of spaghetti, with each end tied to another one. The people are weak as they do not have the police or the Army to defend them. The rulers have mastered the art of using all means to crush those they rule. But there is hope; there always must be.

Global organizations have not stopped wars but only promoted colonial agendas and perpetuated greater evil. Peace is an illusion, a Hollywood dream that people think is within their grasp.

Why must someone's bad stomach in Washington ruin my life in the East? But that is the way it is designed, with the 'right' technology to make our lives more miserable. Whatever evil took years to accomplish can now take only a few seconds to achieve.

May the destroyers of good be wiped off the face of the Earth by the Hand of God. The evil is too great to be handled alone.


Thursday, 27 May 2010

Chowk: This Site is Restricted

And moreover, Dr Safwan Shah and Chowq ed-eaters, do read all my old blogs on Chowq that uncover your yubb-site's highhandedness, insults hurled at Muslims (through your minions) and unfair bans unleashed on those who justifiably protested. But your cyberspace Guantanamo will fail and your water-boarding will always remain distasteful.

Dr Shah, show me just one blog or interact where I abused others' gods and I will show you a million places where your e-tribe wilfully hurt the feelings of those who worship God and bow down before Him alone. You may have given up your faith living in the kingdom of the crystal skull but we haven't in the land of the pure.

As for the rest of the silent readers who felt hurt, and the mild protestors who felt deep down they were with me but somehow abandoned me because it was declared fashionable by a few rebellious Chowq devils, I congratulate all of you. The PTA (Pakistan Telecommunication Authority), that small ant has struck back with a ‘This Site is Restricted’ move.

Dr Shah, Chowq is your mad elephant and you have always acted like Abraha all along, and may God's own little birds level your unblessed e-commerce. Truly, Chowq deserves a complete ban in Pakistan, and owes all the Muslims an unconditional apology for having done tremendous wrong for years on end.

If you find that my original blog has been removed from Chowq, you are at the right space reading it: here!

And home is where I hang my hat and lay down my bullwhip. If you do not mind, I am tired now and need some rest.

Chowk Insults The Prophet

PTA has established a Crisis Cell to monitor all such contents. PTA’s helpline toll free number 0800-55055 and email can be used to notify all similar URLs where such objectionable material is placed.

Khurram A. Mehran, Director (PR)


Here is an example of Chowk's freedom of foul speech and zero tolerance for good sense. I request all sensible people to call or email the PTA regarding the anti-Islam filth posted at

The following is the latest insult ot all Muslims, despite my repeated requests and warnings to Chowk staff:

#28 Posted by PedoProphet02 on May 23, 2010 9:29:28 am

"Slave-Hussaini, I had a vision about Prophet last night - An Arab looking man in the town of Macca, hair full of lice with a sword in his right hand and an erect penus oozing scum in the left hand; dead men/boys on the ground; him tilling girls and women while offering peace (Salam) to people with an option either to choose sword or penis for the purpose. A bunch of slave girls/womem and boys behind his soldiers being dragged like camels. Do you think it was a good dream or bad?"

Friday, 21 May 2010

Cyber Bans

Cyber terrorism originating from the US and Europe must stop. I recall having McAfee Anti-Virus on my computer and watching with horror, a world map of the sources of such malicious attacks; they came from the so-called centres of the 'New World' and the 'civilized advanced nations' in our direction. Is there a law in place to protect us from these monsters?

Many talk-show hosts, stand-up comedians and their fans love insulting God, His books and the prophets he sent for our guidance. Non-sense must be stopped; freedom of speech does not mean THIS!

It is appalling how those who earlier felt quite amused by the abuse hurled at what is dear to Muslims are now bemoaning the recent FaceBook debacle.

Shameless indeed are those who do not hold owners of such websites responsible for the filth they allow to be published against Muslims. The Pakistan Telecommunication Authority (PTA) knows it all too and has asked the ISPs to block many offensive websites, and perhaps soon the High Court will 'do more' for our saviours in Washing-ton.

Please read '440 Volts Jolt' in the sidebar; my profile says it all. We need to openly condemn all turncoats, collaborators and traitors amongst us and elsewhere whose mission in life is to create unrest leading to wars. The world will not come to an end if there is no FaceBook, Wikipedia, Twitter or YouTube.

Each Muslim who prays sends out an SMS to every other Muslim. Let us see how satanic technology can block this!


WASHINGTON: An American cartoonist whose work inspired the controversial “Everybody Draw Muhammed Page” on Facebook has condemned the effort and issued an apology to Muslims. Molly Norris, of Seattle, drew a cartoon in April to protest the decision by the US television channel Comedy Central to cancel an episode of the popular show “South Park” over its depiction of the Prophet Muhammed (PBUH).

In her cartoon, Norris satirically proposed May 20 as an “Everybody Draw Muhammed Day”.

“I apologise to Muslims and ask that this ‘day’ be called off,” the American cartoonist said.

Sunday, 16 May 2010

Bollywood Song Parodies By Tahir Gul Hasan

Dear music lovers:

It all started with great innocence and soon developed into something very lethal.

First the Press Trust Of India noticed what I was doing to their Bollywood songs. Then came along India's CATCH NEWS e-zine which covered my parodies with an article titled: New twist to old Bollywood songs, courtesy an ardent Pakistani fan. On both occasions, it was journalist Lamat R Hasan who spread the good news.

So here it is, all of the songs in one blog along with their web links.



28) What Shall I Preach To You, Doll Rubber?
27) Ranch, Love-Gum, Woes

26) From Behind Your (Fake) Eyelashes

25) Shall I Kill Thee Or What?

24) O Hidden One (Under My Bed), Appear Before Me!

23) I Earn Abundantly But The Earnings Go Under

22) Eena, Meena, Deeka

21) This Is Not A ChooRhi (Sweeperess)

20) Can't You Hug Her?

19) The Job Of The Broken Porcelain) Dil(do)

18) Come Here To My Hot Zoo

17) The Poppy Scorpion's Singer Mounted Me!

16) I Swear Upon The Shame(ful) Gum

15) I'm Paula Abdul's Lyricist

14) From Your (Moulin Rouge) World

13) That Love-Gum Of Yours Was Just An X-cuse

12) It Doesn't Matter If You Don't Play (Doc-Doc) With Me

11) (Hey Babe) The French Letters That I Wrote To You

10) My Foe, May You Thirst For My (Pen-prick)Friendship

9) Is That Not Him?

8) Feeling Helpless, She May Have Chosen To Forget Me

7) That Thing Which Is In You (Ooh...Babe)

6) What Have You Promised Me (O Mother Of 13 Royal Ones)?

5) Let The Flowers Touch Your Feet (Baby, Baby, Baby!)

4) My Eyes Became Tearful As I Thought Of You (Baby, Baby...)

3) Let Both Of Us Become Strangers Once Again

2) What Came To Your Mind, O Creator Of The World?

1) If I'm Separated From You

Saturday, 8 May 2010

Being Economically Dressed In Ukraine

The West always oppresses and taunts Muslim women for covering their faces and sometimes, entire bodies. They obviously never look at modestly dressed Christian nuns; such are the snide moves that the secularists make—not that I advocate that awful full-body battle apparel called ‘Burqa’.

Our women can and do protest but mostly in their feminine hearts. By contrast, the liberated Western women expose themselves to their admirers to sometimes launch completely or partially nude protests in full view of the public. Let us not call their condition ‘nude’ but rather one where they are very economically clad—thanks to this itch to unclothe due to global warming. Their unhappy exposure appears to have some link with the climate change that we are told is taking place all around Al Gore and his pseudo science thugs.

Ukraine is a great country—it is unfortunate that comedian Borat only spanks Kazakistan in his comedy shows (watch his movie: ‘Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan’). So what wrong did Ukraine do? They did this. Four young women—very economically dressed from the waist up—forcefully moved into a Ukrainian polling station to hold an unruly protest just before a candidate in the country’s presidential election cast his ballot there. One can imagine the effect that might have had on the poor male voters lined up to—of all the things—push a piece of paper into a barren ballot box.

Photographers are lucky people by a poor deprived person’s standards. An AFP photographer saw the women, members of a small feminist group called ‘Femen’ known for staging eye-catching protests, being hustled out of the Kiev polling station by security guards (let us call them ‘Naked Fight Coordinators’) before candidate Viktor Yanukovich showed up to vote. And poor Viktor Yanukovich missed the entire flesh exposure. I think he might have rejoiced in the fact that it does not matter who castes the votes, what matters is who counts them.

“Enough raping our democracy!” shouted the protesters, who held signs with slogans such as ‘Help! Rape!’ and wore nothing except for jeans and strips of green electrical tape.

Whether pasting green electrical tape on one’s chest or being a Greenpeace activist, anything green is considered good these days—now that the politicians have run out of promises.

When Ukrainian women are so open about politics, one need not worry about the silent men. The women told reporters they were protesting ‘the end of democracy’ in Ukraine and not specifically against Yanukovich or in favour of his rival, Prime Minister Yulia Tymoshenko. We are not told what the men said about the demise of democracy.

Femen, whose members are mostly university students, attracted international attention last summer when it held a protest against Ukraine’s sex tourism trade where activists picketed in central Kiev wearing bras and panties.

If taking one’s clothes off as part of public protest is what they call true democracy and freedom of speech, Pakistan’s debauched elites would love to listen to overt American suggestions while ignoring the calls of all bearded and veiled tyrants.

Bras and panties cover, they hold things together nicely. The reason why Russia broke up into many small countries is that they ran out of red bras and panties that previously held together the Communist political system of the same colour.

Saturday, 1 May 2010

Bill Turns To Stone

Last winter thousands of ethnic Albanians braved low temperatures and a cold wind in Pristina, Kosovo’s capital, to welcome former US president Bill Clinton as he attended the unveiling of an 11-foot statue of himself on a key boulevard that also bears his name.

Clinton is celebrated as a hero by Kosovo’s ethnic Albanian majority for launching NATO’s bombing campaign against Yugoslavia in 1999 that stopped the brutal Serb forces’ crackdown on independence-seeking ethnic Albanians. This is Clinton’s first visit to Kosovo since it declared independence from Serbia last year.

Many waved American, Albanian and Kosovo flags and chanted “USA!” as the former president climbed on top of a podium with his poster in the background that read ‘Kosovo honours a hero’. The statue stood on top of a white-tiled base in the tiny square surrounded by communist-era buildings.

Nations raise statues of great men who are sometimes later blamed for the destruction and plunder of the same lands; the disgusted people then happily spit or beat with shoes the images of the heroes of their past. In recent history, we have witnessed such delightful spectacles in Russia and Iraq.

To name boulevards after sinful Bill is one thing but to erect statues in his tarnished name is paying undeserved homage to Oval Office erections. There was one flaw with the piece of public art: White House intern Monica Lewinsky’s marble lips were not shown attached to a readily excitable part of old Bill’s anatomy.

Even if the sculptures were to be condemned as un-Islamic in Pakistan, we need statues of our semi literate semi great men in public squares because the public needs to vent out its anger on powerless stone demigods.